Hold On
by WildHope83
Summary: After a rough year, Amanda Kent was looking forward to her family's annual trip to her maternal grandparents' home for the winter holidays. With everything going on in her life, she never expected to fall head first into strong open arms. PaulOC COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

I'm not new to writing fan fiction, but this is my first attempt at a _Twilight_ story. A friend of mine introduced me to the series and I really enjoyed it, so, this story is dedicated to her and her favorite shape shifter. Obviously, this story is mildly AU since it is a PaulOC story and for the benefit of my plot he didn't imprint on Rachel. Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 1

The snow was falling in slight swirl patterns from the sky as my dad carefully drove down the road. My younger brother, Derek, was listening to his ipod a little too loudly so the muffled sound of the latest rock band that he was into echoed slightly in the back seat of our SUV. I sighed quietly as I rested my forehead against the cold glass of the window and watched the scenery go by. We were traveling from Seattle to the reservation in La Push where my mother had grown up to spend the upcoming holidays with my maternal grandparents. I had always loved taking the trip just to watch the beautiful scenery pass by and it was no exception that trip, but it had been a rough year and the silence in the car was draining.

"Amanda," came my mother's voice from the seat in front of me and I lifted my head and looked at her profile as she had turned her head to look towards the back. "You brought enough of your medicine, right?"

"Yes, Mom, I brought enough for the two weeks we'll be here," I told her for the fifth time since we left the house. I loved my mother to death, but sometimes I felt like she still treated me like I was a little kid. I was seventeen and was about to be eighteen come the middle of January. Granted I had a few health issues now, but it wasn't like I was going to break. Over the summer I was diagnosed with Lupus after a three week stint in the hospital, and the last few months had been taxing on my body with the doctors trying to get my medications right.

I'd lost a rather large amount of my hair so it was patchy in places, but it had started to grow back now that I wasn't so stressed and since the doctor's had my medication pretty much figured out. I just wore hats to cover up the patchy spots, and with the knit cap I had on you couldn't even tell I had lost any of my thick shoulder blade length dark brown hair.

On top of the hair loss there had been the fatigue, which was still wreaking havoc on my body and I was _always_ cold. It could have been ninety degrees in the house and I would still be walking around in thick sweatpants, socks, t-shirt, and a sweatshirt. Plus, I would be carrying around a blanket for good measure. The only positive thing about the last seven months was I had lost twenty-five pounds. I'd always been a bit on the heavy side, so, the weight loss was a plus for me.

"Your mother just wants to make sure you'll be okay, Amanda," Dad said. "You don't have give her that tone." I sighed quietly as I returned my attention out the window.

"Sorry Mom," I said softly, apologizing to her. She didn't say anything back, but I knew it was because she didn't take what I said the same way Dad did. When I was diagnosed Mom became slightly overprotective and Dad became distant. Mom didn't want me to do much of anything, and it had taken my friends a lot of convincing to get her to let me go to a movie with them the weekend before. However, where Mom cared too much, it seemed like Dad just didn't care, and that hurt more than I wanted to admit.

It wasn't like I didn't take my condition seriously. I really did. I knew living with Lupus wasn't going to be easy and that I had a very good chance of not living to be as old as my grandparents or even my parents; but I just wanted to actually live my life, disease or no disease. Mom almost didn't want to make the trip to La Push, but I insisted on it. It was there, in my grandparents' modest home that was surrounded by thick trees, where I felt the most at home despite growing up in the city. Sometimes I couldn't help but wonder why Mom ever wanted to leave La Push, but I should be thankful she did. If she hadn't, she would have never met Dad and I wouldn't be alive.

Soon, Dad turned the black SUV down the familiar driveway of my grandparents' home and I was the first one out of the car after it came to a stop. My excitement at being there had been growing as we drew nearer and my fatigue was replaced by a rush of adrenaline as I took in the house in front of me. I did a small twirl in the falling snow before I laughed and raced towards the house. Grandma was opening the door as I ran up the steps of the covered porch and she laughed as I embraced her tightly.

"Amanda!" she cried happily as she hugged me back. After a second we pulled apart and she smiled at me. "Well, looking at you now, you wouldn't know you were ever sick," she said through her smile and I smiled back until Derek spoke behind me.

"You should see her without the hat," he said before he trudged past us and went inside with his bag.

"Derek," Mom chided as she adjusted her grip on her bag and came up the steps of the porch, but my fifteen-year-old brother acted like he didn't even hear her as he went upstairs.

"It's fine, Mom," I said. "I'm used to it." She sighed heavily before the three of us went inside. I stayed back and held the door open for Dad as he carried his and my bag inside. "Thanks Dad, sorry I forgot get my bag."

"I got it, Amanda," he said. "I'll put it up in your room." He gave me a tight-lipped smile before he passed me and went upstairs. We always stayed in the same rooms every time we came, so much so, that we all even kept personal items there for when we came back.

Three of the bedrooms were upstairs while the master was on the first floor so my grandparents didn't have to climb the stairs if they didn't have to. They had remodeled their house with the help of a few of the men on the reservation three years ago. They said they didn't want Derek and I sleeping in the living room any longer and that we deserved a decent place to sleep. So, they remodeled the upstairs, adding two more bedrooms and a half a bath in the one that I always occupied.

I closed the door and as I unbuttoned my jacket, the adrenaline was leaving me made me feel tired yet again. However, I pushed away the feeling and headed towards the kitchen where I knew I would find Mom and Grandma. Sure enough as I walked in the two were chatting away as they sat at the table in the kitchen. Mom's bag was next to her and I walked over to her.

"You want me to take this upstairs?" I asked and Mom looked up at me and smiled before she nodded. I grabbed the bag and headed back into the foyer and then up the stairs. I had no more sat Mom's bag next to Dad's on the bed when I heard Dad talking to Derek in the room next door.

"Derek, you need to quit giving your sister a hard time," he said.

"Dad, she's not even sick anymore," Derek said, "I don't know why everyone keeps making such a big deal about it."

"She's still sick, Derek, why do you think she takes so many pills every day? It's to keep her from going back in the hospital," he said. I felt bad for eavesdropping, but Dad actually sounded angry with Derek for his earlier comment.

"Why doesn't she just go back to the hospital? All she does is sleep anyway," Derek said and that comment hurt worse than the one about my hair, but it wasn't like he hadn't said it before. I was just surprised he was brave enough to say it to Dad.

"That's enough, Derek," Dad said tightly. "I know everything has been hard on you too, but can you put aside whatever animosity you have for her aside? It's Christmas time, and we should be thankful she's even here with us."

"Fine," Derek said dejectedly. "I'll try and be nicer."

"That's all I ask," Dad said and I quickly went back to the bed and acted like I just sat Mom's bag down and was turning to leave. "What are you doing Amanda?" he asked when I turned around and saw him standing in the doorway.

"I brought Mom's bag up for her since I was coming up to my room," I said. "I wanted to take off my coat and shoes, and grab a blanket." He nodded and continued on his way downstairs while I moved to my room across the hall and closed the door. I sighed as I pulled off my coat and hung it up in the closet. After taking off my tennis shoes and putting them on the floor of the closet, I went over to the bed and opened my suitcase. I had to unpack, but I really didn't have the energy. So, I just took out the few things I needed at that moment.

I was wearing a long sleeved t-shirt, jeans, and my socks, but as usual I was chilly. I took my medicine bag out of my suitcase and sat it on the nightstand before I pulled out my thick dark blue hoodie that I practically lived in. It was the warmest thing I owned and sad to say it became like a security blanket for me. I pulled the hoodie on over my head before I went to the vanity.

Taking a deep breath I pulled the hat off my head and frowned at the bald patches that were visible now that I was no longer wearing the stylish knit cap. My hair was naturally thick, so when I wore the hat my hair loss barely showed but it was still embarrassing to see if I wasn't wearing a hat or a scarf. I brushed out my hair with a brush from the vanity before I put the hat back on my head. I may have been comfortable around my family, but I didn't want my grandparents to see the bald spots. Before I left my room, I grabbed a blanket from the top shelf of the closet and headed downstairs.

"There you are," greeted a deep and aged voice as soon as I stepped off the last step. I looked up and smiled at my grandpa who had his arms open and ready to hug me. I laughed and quickly rushed into his open arms, taking in his scent of the cold from outside and faint tobacco.

"Have you started smoking again?" I asked as I lifted my head and looked up at him and he chuckled.

"Please don't tell your grandma," he said. "I don't do it often, but she'll have my head." I sighed as I shook my head, but I relented and nodded my agreement.

"I won't say a word," I said and he smiled. I often wished that I got more of my mother's Native American genes instead of my father's Caucasian features. My mother, like her parents, had beautiful russet skin; deep brown eyes; and black hair. My complexion, as well as Derek's, was more like coffee with too much milk; and where Derek got the brown eyes and black hair, I got dark brown hair and murky hazel eyes that sometimes looked more green than brown.

"Good," he said and he kept his left arm around me as he guided me into the kitchen where Dad, Mom, and Grandma were sitting.

"Amanda, you don't have to keep your hat on," Mom said. "You know Grandma and Grandpa won't say anything."

"I'm more comfortable with it on, Mom," I said as Grandpa lowered his arm and walked over to the table, taking his seat next to Grandma. She nodded her head and I took a seat at the table, and draped the blanket over my legs. When Grandma and Mom got chatting it was always fun to watch, and I settled in for a moment of entertainment.

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Several hours later, after a hearty supper and after I had taken my evening medicine, we were all settled in the living room watching TV. Even Derek, which was damn near impossible to do at home. It was then that I noticed that something was missing. "Grandpa, where's the Christmas tree?" I asked with a frown. It was three days before Christmas Eve and the tree was nowhere in sight.

"Well, I thought that this year you and Derek could join me in picking it out," he said. "I'm planning on going up the trail tomorrow with San Uley and a few others. Do you two want to go with us?"

"Dad, I don't think-," Mom started, but I interrupted her.

"I'd love to," I said quickly with a bright smile.

"Not really," Derek replied before he returned his attention to the TV.

"Amanda, I don't think you should go outside in the weather," Mom said, focusing her attention on me instead of Grandpa.

"Mom, I'm fine as long as I take my medicine and I haven't had a spell in days," I said, referring to the fainting spells that usually followed overexertion. I was still getting used to the medication and I wasn't completely functioning on a normal level but I was getting better every day. "The trail isn't hard to walk and with Grandpa around, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"And if anything happens, Molly, Sam and his friends are all big and strong," Grandpa said looking at Mom and she sighed quietly. "They'd be able to get Amanda back to the house faster than you can blink." I knew Sam Uley only because he and a few of his friends worked on Grandma and Grandpa's house. I hadn't met all of them, but I did talk to Sam while he worked. Despite his somewhat stern look and terribly intimidating frame Sam was a really nice guy, especially since he put up with an inquisitive fourteen-year-old girl.

"All right," Mom said and Grandpa winked at me while I smiled so big that my face actually hurt. "But I want you to get plenty of sleep tonight, Amanda," she said. "If you even look the tiniest bit tired in the morning, you're not going." I nodded my head before I stood draping the blanket over my shoulders.

"Okay, then I'm off to bed," I said. It was barely eight o'clock, but I was exhausted and Grandpa chuckled quietly. I wished everyone good night and went upstairs. After washing my face and tying a black silk scarf my friend, Breanna, gave me for my birthday around my head I crawled into bed. The day caught up with me and I was no more settled into a comfortable position when the darkness of sleep claimed me.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight _series.

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Chapter 2

The next morning I was up at eight and unpacking so I could get to my wool socks that were at the bottom of my bag when there was a soft knock on my door. "Come in," I said and Mom stepped inside. She was wrapped up in her robe and her long black hair was pulled back in a clip. "Morning," I said before I tucked my last sweater into the tall dresser.

"Good morning," she said and I pushed the drawer closed. I went to pick up my towel to head into the shower when she stopped me. "Amanda," she said and I looked at her. "It's breakfast, medicine, then shower. Your Grandpa can wait for you." I sighed before I walked over to the door and the two of made our way downstairs. I checked my scarf to make sure my head was still covered as I sat down at the table.

"Morning, Amanda," Grandpa said as he sipped on his coffee. "I thought you'd be dressed by now."

"I had to unpack to get to a few of my things," I said as I poured myself some orange juice. "It took longer than I thought and Mom said I had to have breakfast before I took a shower. I'll hurry so we're not late."

"No need," Grandpa said as Grandma sat a bowl of oatmeal and a plate of toast in front of me. I smiled my thanks and she quickly went back to the kitchen. "Sam and the boys will be coming round soon and they're going to check the seals in the windows upstairs first." I nodded as I started to eat. It had been rather drafty in the room last night, but I thought it had just been my fluctuating temperature so I just added a few more blankets to the bed. "You sure you don't want to come with us, Derek?"

"No thanks, Grandpa," Derek said as he picked at his food.

"Did you bring your medicine down with you?" Mom asked when she brought her own plate and cup of coffee to the table. Derek scoffed from his seat across me and I ignored him. Dad was probably still getting dressed because he wasn't at the table.

"No, but I promise I'll take it," I said after I swallowed my bite of toast.

"Where's your medicine bag?" she asked from her still standing position.

"On my nightstand," I said and she turned and went out into the hall and up the stairs. I sighed and shook my head as I looked at my Grandma as she sat down with her own breakfast. "Why does she think I'm incapable of remembering to take my medicine?" She gave me a small smile and patted my hand on that was resting on the table.

"She just worries about you, Amanda," Grandma said. "I think she's scared you'll end up back in the hospital," she finished as she settled back her chair.

"I know she worries and I'm grateful that she does, but it's getting to be a little much. I haven't been really sick for the last six weeks and my hair is starting to come back," I said. Grandma smiled at me and shrugged before she started eating. I returned to my breakfast only to have Mom suddenly appear and put down the pills I needed to take that morning before she too sat down. I sighed as I looked at the eight pills before I took a bite of my oatmeal. I couldn't wait to leave. I was almost done with my breakfast when there was a knock at the door.

"That must be Sam and the boys," Grandpa said as he stood. I quickly finished off my eggs and then started to take the pills, two at a time. I'd gotten used to taking them but if I took more than two at a time they'd get stuck sometimes.

"Relax Amanda, they're not going to leave without you," Mom said with a light laugh. That was the first time I heard her laugh in a while and I couldn't help but smile back.

"I know, but I've got to shower still and I look a mess," I said, which made both her and Grandma chuckle and Derek rolled his eyes as I stood from the table and headed into the hall. I tried to sneak upstairs because I really didn't want them to see me in my pajamas and with no make up to hide the light dark circles I had cooking that morning only to have Grandpa call out.

"Amanda, come say hello to everyone," he said and I winced before I placed a smile on my face and went into the living room only to falter at the door when I saw the three rather large men standing with Grandpa.

Now, Grandpa wasn't a small man at six feet one inch and he was sort of stocky; but the men standing with him made him look small. Not one of them was less than six feet four inches and all of them were broad and their defined muscles were east to see under the t-shirts they wore under their jackets. I easily recognized Sam, but I had forgotten just how tall the man was. I was barely five feet four inches and if they towered over Grandpa like they did, I couldn't imagine what I looked like standing next to them.

"Hi," I said with a small wave after I came to my senses and walked over to stand next to Grandpa.

"You remember Sam, don't you Amanda?" Grandpa asked and I smiled at Sam as I nodded. The man smiled back as he inclined his head. "And these two brutes with him are Jared and Paul," he said gesturing to the man on Sam's left and then the man on Sam's right.

The man on the left smiled at me and nodded his head but when my eyes met the eyes of the man on Sam's right, I suddenly felt uncomfortable. Paul, as Grandpa introduced him, was staring at me. His dark eyes were very intense and he was looking at me in a way that no one had ever looked at me before; like he was looking at something amazing. It was unnerving, so, I frowned and looked away from him and at Sam.

"It's nice to see you again Sam," I said. By the look on his face it was obvious Sam knew Paul was staring and I hoped he could see that I was uncomfortable. I realized he did when he turned slightly so he was partially blocking me from Paul's intense gaze.

"You too, Amanda," Sam said, his voice was also deeper than I remembered. "It's been a while." I laughed lightly at that and nodded my head.

"Yeah, and don't mind my pajamas," I said gesturing to my sweatshirt and sweatpants. "I just finished breakfast and was heading upstairs to get dressed. I shouldn't be long though."

"Don't worry about it," Sam said. "We promised your grandpa we'd check the upstairs windows."

"Were you cold last night, Amanda?" Grandpa asked as he looked down at me and I looked at him with a small shrug.

"A bit, but when am I not cold anymore?" I asked with a smile. "I just grabbed a few of the extra blankets from the closet."

"Sam, check Amanda's windows first, please," Grandpa said looking at the other man. "We don't want her getting sick, not after-," he started but I stopped him from continuing.

"Grandpa," I said quickly and rather sharply as I grabbed his arm and he looked down at me. "It's not something that needs to be broadcasted to the world. Please don't say anything," I whispered softly so the others wouldn't hear.

"All right," he said gently before he looked back at the guys. They were looking at me curiously, but Grandpa drew their attention to him. "Since Amanda's still got to get ready, why don't you guys start in Derek's and Molly's rooms?" When they nodded in agreement, I gave them a smile and said a quick 'bye' before I rushed up the stairs. However, as I did so, I could still feel Paul's eyes on me and it was a little disconcerting.

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By the time I had showered, carefully dried my hair, dressed, and ensured my hat and make up were in place there was a swift knock on my door. For some reason my stomach felt like it jumped to my throat, but I pushed it down and walked over to the door and opened it. Thankfully, it was Jared standing on the other side and he gave me a small smile. "Mind if I check your windows?" he asked and I shook my head negatively as I smiled and opened the door further for him and stepped aside.

"Come on in," I said and as he walked in, I noticed a bag in his hands. "Is there something wrong with the windows?" I asked and he looked at me with a grin.

"Nothing a little weather stripping can't fix," he said. "The temperatures and moisture around here cause the wood to expand and shrink and small gaps appear around the windows. When I'm done, tonight when you sleep you'll be nice and toasty." I laughed at that as I sat down on the full sized bed and pulled on my snow boots. I probably wouldn't be toasty, but definitely warmer than I had been the night before.

"So, how long have you worked with Sam?" I asked, making small talk while he worked and while I tied up the laces of my snow boots.

"Since I was seventeen; that's ten years in case you were wondering," he said and I smiled. "He's sort of taught me everything I know." I looked at him and there was a grin on his face that was telling me there was a double meaning to his words, but I wasn't going to ask what that second meaning was.

"He can't be much older than you," I said and Jared chuckled.

"He's not, but his uncle taught him and Sam taught me and a few of our other friends," he said.

"What made you want to go into carpentering?" I asked as I finished tying off my left boot and stood, making sure they weren't too tight.

"You ask a lot of questions, you know that?" he asked and I smiled as I looked up at him. Apparently, it was quick fix because it looked like he was cleaning up the small mess he made.

"I'm naturally inquisitive," I said. "You can ask Sam if you want. I practically talked his ears off while he worked on the house three years ago." Jared laughed at that and I laughed with him.

"So, you ready then?" he asked and I nodded as I moved to the closet and grabbed my warm black wool coat and my dark blue scarf and gloves that matched my hat.

"Ready to go," I said as I draped my coat over my arms and he nodded his head as he picked up his bag and the two of us headed downstairs.

Dad was up and moving now and drinking coffee as he sat at the table in the kitchen with Grandma, Mom, Grandpa, and Sam. Derek was probably upstairs in his room and Paul was standing off to the side, leaning against the kitchen island. When Jared and I walked into the room, Paul's eyes were instantly on me and I felt my cheeks heat as I held his eyes for a fraction of a second before I looked at Grandpa with a smile.

"Ready?" I asked him and he nodded. Mom stood then, walked over to me and pulled me off to the side. I knew what was coming before she even breathed a word.

"I want you to take it easy," she whispered. "Don't let them rush you along the trail and if you start feeling the least bit tired, I want you to rest for a bit."

"Okay," I whispered back as I looked up at her. She wasn't much taller than me, but she was taller all the same.

"Promise me," she said and I sighed.

"I promise," I said looking into her eyes.

"You took-," she started but I interrupted her.

"Mom, you watched me take them all this morning and I've got the ones I need to take at noon in my pocket just in case we're not back by then. I just need to get a bottle of water," I said as I patted my jeans pocket were the small round pill case rested and she nodded before she turned and went further into the kitchen and towards the fridge. I shook my head as I pulled on my jacket and wrapped my scarf around my neck in the time it took her to come back with a small travel bottle of water. "Thanks," I said as I took it from her and tucked it into the pocket of my coat. I kissed her cheek before I turned around and walked into the foyer where Grandpa, Sam, Jared, and Paul stood waiting. They had made their way past Mom and I as we talked; I just hoped they hadn't heard anything we said.

"Let's get going," Grandpa said as he pulled on his gloves and opened the door. Sam and Jared followed him outside and as I took a step to do the same a hand was suddenly on my shoulder. The heat of said hand seeped through my coat and warmed my shoulder instantly. I turned my head to the left and looked up curiously at Paul, whose hand was resting on my shoulder.

"Are you going to be warm enough?" he asked. His voice was slightly deeper than Sam and Jared's and it was huskier. It suited his sharp and handsome features. I forced a small smile at the slight concern I heard in his voice and nodded. I had enough people fussing over me, I didn't need a guy I didn't even know doing the same thing.

"I'll be fine," I assured him before I walked outside, effectively removing his hand from my shoulder. It wasn't as cold as I was expecting, but it was still cold and thankfully it had stopped snowing. Sam had Grandpa's axe resting on his shoulder as they waited for Paul and I, and I quickly charged over to them, pulling on my gloves as I did so. As we started into the woods, I noticed that Paul stayed close to me and kept to my slower pace. I didn't know whether to be annoyed or flattered, however, my stubbornness was leaning me towards the first emotion.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to those that have added my story to their favorites/alerts lists. I'm very happy that you all liked the first two chapters. Thank you for reading and I hope you like this chapter. Please let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight _series.

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Chapter 3

About twenty minutes into our walk as we were heading up a small hill on the trail, my body was protesting against walking further and I needed to rest. "Hey, guys, could we stop for just a second?" I asked before I moved over to a large tree and rested my back against it. Grandpa, Jared, and Sam stopped and looked back at me. For some reason, Paul was quick to my side and put his heated hand on my upper arm.

"You okay?" he asked and I nodded as I looked up at him.

"Yeah, I just need to rest a bit," I said softly. Grandpa was at my side then and Paul quickly lowered his hand as I looked at Grandpa.

"Amanda?" he questioned, but I shook my head.

"I'm fine, really," I said. "Just need a breather." He didn't look like he believed me when he sighed heavily, his breath coming out as a small cloud thanks to the cold air.

"Maybe your mother was right," he said and I shook my head as I pushed myself up from the tree.

"Grandpa, I'm fine," I said. "We're almost there anyway. This didn't kill me when I was little; it's not going to kill me now."

"That was before, Amanda. I think one of the boys should walk you back," Grandpa said and at hearing those words something inside me snapped.

"No!" I shouted, which caused his eyebrows to raise in surprise and for Paul to shift his stance next to me. "I'm tired of being treated like I'm going to break or like I'm incapable of doing anything on my own! I'm fine! Now let's go get a Christmas tree," I huffed before I started past Grandpa and charged up the hill.

"Now I get it," I heard Jared mutter to Sam as I passed them, but I ignored him. I had reached the top of the hill and was heading down into the cove of trees when I slipped on the packed snow underneath the freshly fallen snow from the day before. I screamed in surprise before I tumbled down and came to a stop when my back went into a fallen tree. I bumped the back of my head on the tree, but thankfully my hat stayed on as I tried to blink away the spots that suddenly filled my eyes.

"Amanda!" Grandpa yelled, but he wasn't he first one to me. Hot hands were on me, slowly helping me sit up and then the hands were on my face, turning my eyes up to meet Paul's dark orbs.

"Amanda," he breathed, worry clear in his brown eyes. "Are you hurt?" he asked. He ran his thumbs along my cheeks and I couldn't get my voice to work in order to respond. I was captivated by his eyes and the concern etched across his face. "Amanda?" he asked when I didn't say anything and the slight panic in his tone brought me back.

"I'm okay," I said for what felt like the millionth time that morning. "I didn't hit the tree too hard. I guess that's what I get for yelling at my grandpa, huh? Karma's a bitch." I gave him a small smile then and he returned my smile with a brilliant one of his own as he chuckled. That smile was enough to leave a girl breathless.

"Is she okay?" Grandpa asked when he reached us. Paul quickly lowered his hands from my face and when the cold air assaulted my skin, I wanted his hands back on my face to warm my cheeks.

"She's okay," Paul assured him, but Grandpa was waiting for me to answer.

"Other than being terribly embarrassed and having a wet backside, I'm fine," I said and Grandpa sighed heavily. The small bottle of water had fallen out of my coat pocket and I picked it up as Grandpa held out his hand to me. "I'm sorry for yelling at you," I told him softly after he helped me stand. Paul stood as well, but not as close as he had been. It was then that I noticed Jared and Sam behind him.

"It's okay, Amanda," Grandpa said. "I'll talk to your mother. I'll see if I can get her to lighten up a bit on you, after all you're the one that has to live with it, not her." The guys were looking at us curiously again, but behind Paul's curiosity was the same worry and concern that had plagued his eyes from the moment we left the house.

"Thanks," I said softly before I looked down at my snow covered jacket and hastily brushed the snow away.

"Do you want to go back?" Grandpa asked and I raised an eyebrow as I looked at him. He chuckled as he helped me wipe the snow away. "I'll take that as a no, but if you get too cold, let me know." I nodded my head and the five of us headed into the cove of small pine trees.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Paul asked when the others went ahead again and I looked up at him.

"Did you learn nothing from my little outburst?" I asked with a smile and he grinned as he tucked his hands into the pocket of his jacket, which was unzipped, and shrugged. I didn't understand how he was not freezing, but everyone's body reacted to weather differently.

"I learned that you fall rather gracefully," he teased and I laughed lightly as I glanced ahead. Grandpa turned to look back at Paul and me with a smile.

"Take a look around," he called out. "If you find something nice, call out." I nodded as I watched the three men separate. I looked up at Paul and smiled at him.

"I'm fine," I said answering his question, "and if you promise not to ask me that question again, we can have a civil conversation and you can stop staring," I said before I started weaving through the trees to try and find the perfect tree. I heard him chuckle before I heard him quicken his pace to catch up to me.

"I haven't been staring," he said sounding rather sheepish as I looked at a nice tree, but it wasn't full enough for my liking.

"Yes you have," I said before I looked at him. I wasn't normally so bold, but I also wasn't a very shy person. I considered myself a middle of the road kind of girl, but I had my moments where I went either way. That day, I was rather bold.

"Well," he seemed at a loss for words for a second before he smiled. "Isn't that what guys do when they see a pretty girl?" he asked and I laughed at that as I turned away from him and returned to searching for the perfect tree.

"When they see a pretty girl, yes, but you were staring at me," I said. I had stopped again in front of a tree that would have been perfect if it wasn't so tall. It had at least two feet on Paul, and he barely fit through the door of the house.

"And you're not a pretty girl?" he asked as he came to a stop next to me and I looked up at him once again. I was surprised by the frown on his face and his narrowed eyebrows. He looked completely confused by the fact that I didn't find myself pretty. I didn't think I was ugly, I just thought I was rather plain compared to most.

"Not really," I said. "I have my days, but today definitely isn't one of them." I made my way around him and the tree to continue my search, but Paul wasn't going to let me get away that easily.

"Well, I think-," he started but my gasped stopped him from continuing. "What's wrong?" he asked, going on alert as he grabbed my arm firmly and pulled me close to him before his dark eyes were scanning the trees around us.

"Nothing," I said, "I just found the perfect tree!" I said before I pushed away from his incredibly warm side and freed my arm from his grasp. "Grandpa! Sam! Jared! I found it!" I called as I jogged towards the spruce tree that was lush, just the right height, and smelled absolutely heavenly. "Guys over here!" I yelled as I gently shook some of the snow from it, a bright smile on my face.

"You are very strange," Paul said quietly with a laugh as he walked up behind me and I looked over my shoulder at him with my smile still plastered on my face. The grin slowly melted from his face as he looked at me, his eyes softened considerably, and he was looking at me in a way I couldn't really describe.

"Nice find, Amanda," came Jared's voice and I looked away from Paul to the other tall and muscular man still smiling.

"Yeah," agreed Sam. Grandpa soon joined us and smiled at me.

"Let's chop her down, boys," Grandpa said and I stepped back as Sam and Jared started working on chopping down the tree. As I watched them, I started shivering a bit from the cold. I was freezing and my damp jeans didn't help matters any.

"Do you trust me?" Paul asked suddenly from beside me and I looked up at him.

"What?" I asked to make sure I heard him right.

"Do you trust me?" he asked again as he turned to face me fully. My lower lip was quivering thanks to my shivering as I frowned and held his gaze.

"I've known you for about two hours," I said, "I can't exactly answer that question honestly yet." He sighed softly and stepped closer to me. I was tempted to take a step back, but the look on his face froze me to the spot I stood on.

"You're freezing," he whispered and out of the corner of my eye I saw Sam pause in the chopping as he looked at Paul and then at me. It was only a second's long pause before he started chopping again, but I knew he was watching us. Paul turned me to face him, opened his jacket slightly to wrap me in the warmth before he put his arms around me. My face heated in a blush as my shivering body was pressed close to his literally hot body.

I was tense as he held onto me, but soon I found my shivering ebbing away. It was rather uncomfortable in his arms given that my arms were stiff at my sides, so, tapping into the boldness that seemed to be present in me that day, I raised my arms and wrapped them around his waist in a loose embrace underneath his jacket. Unexpectedly, he shivered as my gloved hands came to rest on his t-shirt covered back and I winced.

"Sorry, my hands are cold even through my gloves," I said and he cleared his throat.

"You're fine," he said, his voice huskier than it had been minutes before.

"Why are you hugging my granddaughter?" Grandpa asked and I peaked over Paul's jacket and saw him frowning as he looked up at Paul.

"She was shivering," Paul explained like it was perfectly normal for me to be wrapped up in his arms. Grandpa looked at Paul with narrowed eyes before it looked as though he just realized something and his eyes widened.

"You've got to be kidding me," he said quietly and Paul sighed heavily above me, his breath washing down over my face. Grandpa looked at me and then at Paul before he chuckled, shook his head, and went over to help Sam and Jared with the tree. I figured I didn't want to know what that meant, so, I just rested my head against Paul's chest to revel in his warmth a little more.

"How are you so warm?" I asked, deciding it was best to act like Grandpa hadn't even come over. I didn't like the look he had given Paul and me before he left. Paul's chest rumbled underneath my head as he chuckled.

"My body temp is a little higher than average. I don't get cold that easily," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Thank you," I whispered, "I was freezing." His right hand rose up from my back and gently pulled at the left side of my hair so it was lying across my back instead of over my shoulder before his fingers ran through my hair and then rested on the middle of my back, interlocking with his left hand. I swallowed the lump that was suddenly in my throat and my stomach was flooded with butterflies at the gentleness of his touch.

"You're welcome," he whispered back and my earlier annoyance at the man that held me was long gone.


	4. Chapter 4

I know I uploaded Chapter 3 this morning, but I'm posting again this evening. Thank you for your reviews and for adding my story to your favorites/alerts. Also thanks for reading, and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 4

The day wore on and the tree was put into the stand and decorated beautifully with the decorations Dad had gotten out of the attic for Grandma when she asked. Sam and Jared had left shortly after the tree was decorated, but Grandpa invited Paul to stay for dinner. For some reason when Grandpa invited him, Paul looked at me for a second before he agreed. So, as I was in the kitchen helping Mom and Grandpa put the finishing touches on dinner; Dad, Derek, Grandpa and Paul were in the living room watching television and talking sports.

"Amanda, can you hand me the pepper?" Grandma asked as she stirred a boiling pot and I paused in my vegetable chopping to hand her the pepper grinder. I was a little sluggish because I was rather tired, but I was determined to get at through dinner before going to bed. I returned to the vegetables and the salad I was putting together to go with the beef stew Grandma was making. I finished cutting the cucumbers and tossed the salad together after adding the dressing.

"You look a little pale, sweetheart, are you all right?" Grandma asked me softly as she brought the pepper back over for me to add to the salad. I had had enough of that question, but I wasn't about to blow up at Grandma like I did at Grandpa.

"I'm all right," I whispered back as I looked at her. "I've got a bit of a headache and I'm tired. I haven't eaten since breakfast and I get a headache when I take my meds on an empty stomach. It's nothing to worry about though, I promise." My answer seemed to satisfy her and she nodded before returning to the steaming pot. Mom came into the kitchen from putting the bread bowl and butter dish on the table and walked over to me.

"Can you let everyone know dinner is ready?" Mom asked me as she took the large salad bowl from the counter to bring it to the table. I nodded and wiped my hands on the dish towel before I went into the hall and then into the living room.

"Hey, guys, dinner's ready," I said gently and Derek was up and already passing me in the hall before the others even stood. When Derek passed me, he bumped my shoulder and I stumbled back a bit as he did so. Derek may have been younger than me but he had nearly seven inches of height and about forty pounds on me. Ever since I'd gotten sick he hadn't been the nicest brother around, but I had learned to handle everything he threw at me. After all, he had paid a price too. However, my weakened state and pounding head were no help in me regaining my balance and I found myself on the floor of the foyer slightly dizzy.

"Amanda," came Paul's voice again and as I sat up he was already at my side. Frustration and anger at Derek filled my senses and I jerked my hand from Paul's.

"I'm fine," I said tightly as I stood, ignoring the concerned looked of Grandpa and Dad. I didn't even look back at Paul as I walked into the kitchen and glared at Derek, grabbing his arm before he sat down at the table. "You don't have to be such a jerk, Derek. I haven't done anything to you," I said it quietly so Mom and Grandma wouldn't hear.

"That's just it," Derek said. "You don't have to do _anything _and everyone's fawning over you." Grandpa, Dad, and Paul walked into the kitchen, but I ignored them. It was time that Derek and I had a talk. I tugged on his arm and he frowned. "What?" he asked.

"I need to talk to you," I said. "It will only take a second." Derek sighed and followed me pass the others and we went into the living room. "I'm sorry," I said as I turned around and looked at him and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"For what? Pulling me away from dinner?" he asked with an attitude.

"No, for everything," I said and he frowned. "If I could take back the last seven months, I would. Not only because I've been sick, but because of how all your stuff has been put on the back burner." He uncrossed his arms and continued to look at me with a frown.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Your time at football camp this summer and getting picked for varsity as a freshman," I said. "Mom and Dad missed your first football game because I ended up in the hospital after a bad reaction to my meds. They weren't there to see you play in your first game and missed all of them but the state finals. I'm sorry that all this stuff with me has taken precedence over your achievements."

"You can't tell me you don't like the attention," Derek said. "For the first time since we were little, you're front and center in Mom and Dad's eyes."

"I don't like it," I said. "I was happy being in the shadows. I was proud of you for excelling like you were; hell, I'm still proud of you. Because of you and your crazy speed the football team won the state tournament." I was surprised at the tears that lined my eyes and I blinked rapidly to try and keep them at bay. "You're my brother, I love you, and I don't want you to hate me because of something I can't control."

"I don't hate you, Amanda," he said, and for the first time in seven months his face softened as he looked at me.

"Then why are you always so mean to me?"

"I don't know," he said and I hastily wiped at a tear that escaped from my right eye. "I'm sorry too, Mands," he said, calling me by the nickname he hadn't used since before I was in the hospital. I smiled at him then before I closed the distance between us and hugged him. He hugged me back, but after a second he gently pushed at my waist. "Okay, ew, no more hugging," he said, though I heard the smile in his voice. I laughed lightly and pulled back from him, wiping the fallen tears from my face.

"Are we okay?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Yeah, Mands, we're okay," he said and I tried to smile, but I was suddenly dizzy. "Amanda?" Derek asked, but I couldn't answer. The room spun faster and I knew nothing a second later.

* * *

"I told you it was a bad idea to let her romp around outside!" Mom's voice was muffled as I slowly came to.

"Calm down, Molly, you're only going to make things worse," Dad said. His voice was muffled as well, but someone was wiping at my forehead with a cool damp cloth. I sighed softly as I opened my eyes and looked up only to see Grandma smiling at me.

"How are you feeling?" she asked and I sighed when I realized I was in my room, lying on my bed. Mom and Dad must have been downstairs or out in the hall.

"I'm fine," I said. "I'm sorry for ruining dinner." Grandma chuckled as she put the cloth into the bowl that was resting on the nightstand.

"You've only been out for about ten minutes," she said. "You haven't ruined anything."

"How can you be so calm Michael?" shrieked Mom from wherever she was and I looked at Grandma.

"You can go and tell Mom she can stop with the panic attack. I'm fine," I said and Grandma laughed again.

"All right," she said. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked as she fully stood and I nodded as I sat up.

"Yeah, I just need to eat," I said and Grandma nodded before she walked out of the room and down the stairs. I sighed quietly as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and shook my head to clear the dizziness. I checked to see if my hat was still on my head, but it wasn't and I sighed when I saw it sitting on the vanity next to my black scarf.

"Amanda?" a deep voice asked and my face heated in a deep blush as I looked to the door and saw Paul standing there. I was mortified that he saw me without anything on my head. "Are you okay?" He walked into the room, his eyes focused intently on mine as he squatted down in front of me at the side of the bed.

"Where's my mom?" I asked.

"Your grandma told her you're okay, but your dad's trying to get her to calm down before she comes up," Paul said. "Your grandpa sent me up to check on you."

"I'm fine," I said tightly, looking away from him and to my hat. I stood to get it when my legs gave out from underneath me and I started to fall, however, Paul was quick and he stood slightly, catching me and pressing me firmly to his heated body. Apparently, I wasn't up to walking just yet, and as Paul settled me back on the bed I was ready to cry out of embarrassment.

"What do you need? I'll get it for you," he said.

"My hat," I said weakly and gesturing to it on the vanity. He looked over his shoulder and in one stride grabbed it and brought it back to me. "Thank you." I settled the hat back on my head before I finally met his eyes. I didn't see disgust like I normally saw when people saw me without my hat. I only saw concern in his warm eyes.

"Are you sick?" he asked me so softly that I barely heard him. I knew I didn't have to tell him. It wasn't any of his business, but looking into his eyes I felt compelled to tell him. I hadn't even known him for twelve hours, but it felt like I'd known him for forever.

"I have an autoimmune disease called Lupus," I said as he returned to his squatting position in front of me. "I was just diagnosed over the summer and for a while it was really bad. I nearly died before the doctor's figured out what was wrong." His shoulders shook slightly, but I didn't pay much attention to it. "Other than being tired, I've been symptom free for the last six weeks thanks to my medicine. I think the stress of the last few days just caught up to me." I touched the hat on my head with a small smile. "My hair's growing back, but I wear the hat because the small bald spots are embarrassing."

"Are you going to die?" he asked. I wasn't expecting that question. When I had recovered and gotten out of the hospital, my friends had asked me a million questions about the disease but not one of them ever asked me that question.

"We all die eventually," I said, trying to lighten the sudden heaviness that filled the room, but Paul's frown only deepened.

"Amanda," he said firmly and his dark eyes burned into mine. After a several seconds of just staring at each other, I looked down at my hands in my lap.

"As long as I take my medication and keep to my doctor appointments, I should live until I'm old and gray," I said.

"Should?" he asked. His voice was tight and I looked back up at his face. His shoulders were shaking again, and I was slightly worried that something was wrong with him. "What do you mean by 'should'?"

"So long as no other complications occur like problems with my kidneys, lungs, or heart, I should be fine," I said. "The doctor's told me that the disease doesn't seem to be affecting my major organs, but they can't guarantee that it won't. Time will only tell." He stood quickly then and turned away from me as he ran his hands over his short black hair and clasped his hands behind his neck. He was shaking, like he was really cold, but it was comfortable in the room and he himself said he didn't get cold easily. I felt compelled to assure him that I was fine. "Paul, I'm not going to die," I said and at those words he turned around to look at me. "I'm okay."

"You just collapsed in the middle of your grandparents' living room," Paul said. "How can you say that you're okay?"

"I fainted because I haven't eaten since breakfast and with my medication I can't go without eating like that," I said. "Besides, you shouldn't be so worried. You barely know me." He was still shaking but not as bad as he squatted down in front of me again, taking deep and even breaths.

"Don't tell me that I shouldn't worry," he said heavily as he put his large hands on the outside of my thighs. The heat from his hands seeped through my jeans and heat flooded my entire body warming me instantly. "You have no idea what you mean to me." I was thoroughly confused at those words and as I opened my mouth to ask him what he meant, my bedroom door swung open and Mom made her way into the room. Paul moved away from me so quickly that I didn't think that Mom even realized he had been as close to me as he was.

"Are you okay?" she asked me as she walked over to the bed and put her hand on my shoulder. I nodded. "That will be the last time you go outside while we're here. I won't risk you ending up in the hospital because of exhaustion."

"Mom, I didn't faint from exhaustion," I said and she lowered her hand from my shoulder. "I haven't eaten since breakfast."

"You know better than to go without eating on your medication. You can suffer more complications than just fainting," Mom chided her hands on her hips.

"I know," I said softly and she sighed. "Can we please just forget this whole thing happened and go downstairs for dinner? I'm starving." She pursed her lips as she looked at me and I begged her with my eyes. I was too tired to argue with her and to my surprise she relented.

"All right," she said. "I'll get your father so he can help you downstairs."

"I can help her," Paul said and Mom jumped as though she hadn't even realized he was standing there. I seriously couldn't imagine not noticing him. He was a rather imposing figure. He was impossible not to notice.

"Oh, Paul, I'm sorry. I didn't even see you there," she said and I raised an eyebrow at her flushed face. Paul gave her a sheepish smile and I found myself smiling when he looked at me. "You don't mind helping her down?" she asked and Paul looked at her and shook his head negatively. "Great," she said before she looked at me. "I'll get everyone to the table." You've got to love my mother. She could go from crazed to calm in half a second. She left then and I turned my head to look at Paul only to let out a little squeak and wrap my arms around his neck in surprise as he lifted me from the bed after sliding his left arm under my knees and supporting my back with his right arm.

"What are you doing?" I asked and he looked at my face.

"I'm taking you down stairs," he said and I blushed lightly as his dark eyes held mine.

"You don't have to carry me," I whispered but he just adjusted his grip on me and headed towards my bedroom door. He paused before he stepped out of the room and looked into my eyes yet again.

"I don't have to do a lot of things, Amanda," he said with a slight pause, "but I'd rather carry you than chance your legs going out from under you when you're going down the stairs." It was then that he did the unexpected; he placed a kiss on my left temple and walked out of the room. If he said anything else after that, I didn't hear a word of it. All I could hear was the echo of my rapidly beating heart in my ears and all I could feel were his arms around me and the tingling sensation his lips left against my skin.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you all very much for your reviews and for reading! I hope you like this chapter. Please let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight _series.

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Chapter 5

It was Christmas Eve and as I woke up that morning, there was a smile on my face for a completely different reason other than the arrival of one of my favorite holidays. Paul was going to be coming by and I was looking forward to seeing him again. He'd been over every day and he didn't just visit me. He hung out with Derek and had even gone outside in the snow with him to toss around a football and to give the running back a few pointers. I was reluctant to admit the obvious, but I knew I had developed a tiny crush on Paul. Okay, it wasn't just a crush. I liked him. I really, _really_, liked him.

After I showered, I carefully picked out what I was going to wear that day. I settled on a pair of dark wash jeans, white socks, and the long white cable knit sweater my grandparents gave me for Christmas last year. I braided my hair in a single braid and after brushing my bangs over my forehead, I tied a white scarf around my head to hide the bald patches. Even though everyone had seen them, I still wasn't comfortable leaving them uncovered. I went downstairs with the medicine that I had to take that morning in hand. I stopped when I reached the bottom of the stairs. Paul was early because I heard his deep voice in the kitchen as he talked to Mom.

"Mrs. Kent, I promise that I'll watch over her," Paul said and my heart jumped because I realized he was talking about me. "Sam and his wife wanted me to invite her yesterday, but I got distracted with Derek."

"I think its best that Amanda stays here, Paul," Mom said. "I think it's sweet that you've taken an interest in her, but I think you're a little too old for her."

"Mrs. Kent, I'm not asking you to let me take her out on a date," Paul said and my happy mood deflated a bit. Over the time we'd spent together I learned that Paul was the same age as Jared, making him ten years older than me, but he didn't really look a day over twenty. "I'm asking you to let her get out of the house and make a few new friends."

"It's not going to hurt her, Molly," came Grandpa's voice. "Besides there will be a bunch of people crowded into Sam and Emily's." There was a quiet pause for a second before he spoke again. "If you don't trust Paul, which you should, at least trust Amanda."

"What if she has another spell?" Mom asked and I could tell by her tone that her argument against me going with Paul was weakening.

"I'll make sure she's taken care of," Paul said. "I promise."

"All right," Mom said with a sigh, "but if anything happens, I want you to call me."

"I will, Mrs. Kent," Paul said happily and my good mood and smile was back in full force as I walked down the hall and into the kitchen.

"Good morning," I said and Mom, Grandma, Grandpa, and Paul looked at me. "Where are Dad and Derek?" I asked.

"Derek's up in his room and your father is still asleep," Mom said. It was nearly nine and I raised an eyebrow. It was the third day in a row that Dad decided to sleep in. "He's determined to get as much sleep over this vacation as he can," Mom continued with a smile.

"Amanda," Paul's deep voice said and drew my attention away from Mom. I smiled up at him and he faltered for a second before he continued. "Sam and his wife asked me to invite you over to their place for a small get together. Do you want to come with me?" he asked and I bit my lip as I looked hopefully at Mom. I already knew what her answer was going to be, but I had to play like I hadn't heard their conversation.

"You can go if you want," she said and I smiled brightly as I looked up at Paul once more.

"Sure," I said and he smiled back at me. "When do we go?"

"How long will it take you to put your shoes on?" he asked and I laughed.

"She needs to eat and take her medication first, Paul," Mom said and I sighed as I looked at her. "Sorry, but you leave in forty-five minutes instead of five."

"She's right, and it will give me a chance to call Emily and let her know you'll be coming," Paul said and I nodded before I went into the kitchen to fix myself a bowl of cereal and a glass of juice. I was going to be spending the day with Paul and his friends. It was definitely going to be a great day.

* * *

By the time I had eaten, taken my medicine and gathered the other pills I would need as the day wore on; Paul had his truck warmed up and was waiting outside for me. After saying good bye to my grandparents and Mom and Dad, I was almost out the door when Derek stopped me. "Hey, Mands," he said quickly and I turned to look at him as he rushed over to me from where he had been sitting in the living room.

"What's up?" I asked and he looked out the glass opening of our grandparents' door before he looked back at me.

"Look, I like Paul and everything but if he tries anything, tell me," he said. "I'll take care of him." I laughed quietly as I shook my head. Paul was much, _much_, bigger than Derek and it probably wouldn't take long for Paul to squash my little brother like a bug; but I found it terribly endearing that Derek had gone from despising me to loving me again in eighteen hours.

"I don't think he'll try anything like that," I said and Derek sighed quietly.

"Still," he said and I smiled before I hugged him.

"Okay, Derek, I'll tell you if he tries anything," I said as I pulled away. Derek smiled at me and adjusted my scarf to cover my neck a little more before he said good bye. With that I left the house and closed the door tightly behind me before making my way down the porch steps and over to Paul's truck. When he saw me, he was quick to climb out of the truck and opened the passenger door for me. "Thanks," I said with a smile and he smiled back before he closed the door after I climbed in. He was quickly back in the truck and we were on our way. "Thank you for inviting me," I said as he drove and he glanced at me before quickly returning his eyes to the road ahead.

"Thank you for coming," he said. "Everyone's excited to meet you."

"Really? Why?" I asked and the way he laughed nervously let me know he was about to say something he found rather embarrassing.

"I sort of haven't been able to stop talking about you," he admitted and my cheeks heated in yet another blush that day. "I haven't told them about . . . about your illness though."

"I appreciate that, Paul," I said. "People tend to treat me differently when they know about it."

"I don't treat you differently," he said and I shook my head as I finally pried my eyes away from him and looked ahead and out the windshield.

"You don't, but you've been rather protective from the moment we met," I said and out of the corner of my eye I saw him glance at me.

"It's my nature I guess," he said and I smiled, keeping my eyes ahead.

"I know, and for some reason I don't mind that you are," I said softly. It was more to myself than it was to him, but I looked at him in slight wonder only to see a satisfied smile on his face as he watched the road ahead. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure," he said and I took a deep breath.

"The other night, when you were in my room with me and you said that I have no idea what I mean to you; what did that mean?" I asked finally finding the bravery to ask him what he meant by that. "We barely knew each other then, and even now we still don't know a lot about each other."

"What if I can't answer that right now?" he asked with his grip tight on the steering wheel.

"Will you answer it before I go back to Seattle?" I asked and he looked at me.

"What?" he asked sharply.

"Paul, watch the road," I said when he hadn't turned away from me and he quickly returned his eyes to the road. "I don't live here, Paul," I said simply to answer his question. "I live in Seattle. We're only here for two weeks to spend the holidays with my grandparents. I thought you knew that."

"I did, I just forgot," he said softly as he turned into a short drive and parked his truck next to another truck that I remembered seeing outside the house when Sam and Jared had come to the house. I assumed it was Sam's truck since we pulled up in front of his house, but there were two other vehicles I wasn't familiar with in front of the house. He left the truck running after putting it in gear and I watched his face as multiple emotions seemed to cross it. However, the emotions moved far too quickly for me to deceiver.

"Paul?" I questioned and he looked at me. "Is something wrong?" He gave me a forced smile and shook his head. I knew it was forced because his real smile wasn't nearly as tight.

"No, nothing's wrong," he said. "We should head inside. Everyone's waiting." I nodded as he turned off the truck and climbed out. I had just opened my door when he was standing there with an outstretched hand. I smiled at him and took his hand for him to help me from the truck. Once the door was closed behind me we started towards the house and my insides were squirming in happiness because he hadn't let go of my hand as we walked.

Paul went inside without knocking and pulled me along with him. The warmth in the house wrapped around us and the smell of something wonderful assaulted my nose as we stepped inside. Paul closed the door and Sam was the first to great us with a large smile on his face and I returned his smile.

"Merry Christmas, Sam," I said. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Merry Christmas, Amanda, and thank you for coming," Sam said as Paul let go of my hand and shrugged off his coat revealing the black button up he was wearing with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. I took off my gloves and unbuttoned my coat only to have Paul help me take it off. He hung it and my scarf up next to his coat and encased my hand in his much larger and slightly rough hand. "Come on in and meet everyone," Sam said and he led Paul and me into the living room of the house. Sitting on the long sofa was Jared and he smiled when he saw me.

"Hey, you made it," he said and I smiled at him and nodded as everyone in the room looked at Paul and I.

"Everyone this is Amanda," Sam said introducing me to the group of people settled in the room before he started introducing everyone else to me. "You know Jared," he said as he gestured to the man on the sofa before moving clockwise around the room from Jared's position. "Next to him is Embry," he said gesturing to the younger man next to Jared, who was grinning at me and winked as I looked at him. I laughed and smiled back as I nodded my head. "Then there's Quil, my niece Claire, her father Ken, Seth, Leah, and her fiancé Michael."

"Daddy!" a voice suddenly cried out and everyone looked to the door of the living room from the hall we just entered from to see a little girl, no more than five or six run into the room and wrap her arms tightly around Sam's left leg. "Ethan's trying to get me!" she cried and Sam laughed as he picked the tiny girl up, her loose black curls bouncing around her face. He had no more picked her up when a boy, around seven or eight, charged into the room.

"Ethan, why are you chasing your sister?" he asked and the little boy looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"She spilt water all over my picture," Ethan said as he held up a damaged water color picture.

"I didn't mean to," the little girl said, her own voice filled with unshed tears. "It was an accident. I wanted to help!"

"It was Mommy's Christmas present," Ethan said as he lowered his hand.

"I can help you fix it," I said and everyone looked at me, Ethan with a confused look as I let go of Paul's hand and squatted down in front of the little boy.

"Who are you?" he asked with a sniff.

"I'm Amanda," I said and the little boy's eyes widened.

"Are you Uncle Paul's Amanda?" he asked and I felt my face flush as everyone chuckled. I looked over my shoulder to see Paul blush and shrug his shoulders before I returned my eyes to Ethan's.

"I guess," I said before I took the picture from his hand. "I have a younger brother who used to ruin all of my pictures," I said. "I can help you fix it so it will be as good as new."

"Really?" he asked, hope in his little voice.

"Really," I said with a smile and he took my free hand into his tiny one before he tugged me along. I stood and followed him up the stairs with a smile as everyone watched us go.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you all so much for your views and the adds. I'm very happy so many people are enjoying this story. Now, I'm not so sure about this chapter, but I hope you all enjoy it. Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight _series.

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Chapter 6

"See, I told you we could fix it," I said with a smile as Ethan held up his painted picture triumphantly. You'd be amazed at what a towel and an iron can do. He carefully sat it back on the table in his room before he launched himself at me and hugged me tightly around the neck. I laughed lightly and hugged the small boy back. With the exception of Sam bringing me the requested towel and iron, we'd been left alone. It was at Ethan's request. He had even kicked Paul out of the room when he tried to join us saying that no one could see it until it was perfect.

"Thank you!" he cried happily as he pulled back and smiled his toothless smile at me.

"Your mommy's going to love it," I said and he giggled as he nodded so fast I was worried he was going to snap his neck. "Are you going to give it to her today or tomorrow morning?"

"Now!" Ethan said before he picked up the picture and raced from the room. I laughed yet again before I stood and stretched out my back and legs before I followed the path that Ethan had taken down the stairs and into the living room.

"I was starting to think he was holding you hostage," Sam said with a laugh when he saw me and I smiled back.

"I think he was planning on it until his picture was perfect," I said and Sam smiled. "Where is everyone?"

"The guys took Paul outside to keep him occupied while you were with Ethan and Claire, Ken, and Leah have joined the others in the kitchen," Sam said.

"Why did they go outside?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "Isn't it too cold?"

"He was starting to pace and was getting on Jared's nerves so they took him out to work off a bit of energy," Sam said. "Come on, I'll introduce you to Jared's wife and mine." I smiled at him before I nodded and followed him into the kitchen that was bustling with activity.

My eyes widened at the amount of food the two women who looked like they were in their mid twenties and an older woman, who I assumed was Claire's mother, were preparing. There was enough for at least fifty people when there was only a fraction of that at the house.

"Emily," Sam said as he put his hand on my shoulder blade and like Paul his hot touch seeped through my sweater. One of the younger women looked our way. I held back my quiet gasp and kept the smile on my face out of politeness upon seeing the scars that marred the right side of her face. The left side of her face was breathtakingly beautiful and the smile that lit her face upon seeing Sam and then me vanished the ugliness of the scars and I forgot all about them.

"You must be Amanda," she said happily as she handed off what she was preparing to Leah, who looked disgruntled that she had to cook; but did so at Emily's request. I nodded as Sam lowered his hand and Emily walked over to me. "You're prettier than he said." I felt my cheeks heat in a blush when I realized she was talking about Paul, but I continued to smile. "I'm Emily, Sam's wife," she said. "And thank you for your patience with Ethan. He told me you helped him fix his picture after Sara 'ruined' it," she continued with air quotes and everything. She gestured behind me and when I looked behind me I saw Ethan, Claire, and Sara (Emily and Sam's daughter) sitting at a small table. Claire was keeping the young ones entertained and for a girl of around thirteen or fourteen she looked completely at ease with them and happy to play with them.

"Oh, it wasn't a problem," I said as I looked back at her. "My brother's two years younger than me and always did the same thing to me." Emily laughed lightly and I smiled.

"This is Paul's girl, isn't it?" asked the other young woman I didn't know and I turned my eyes to her. I didn't understand why everyone seemed to identify me as 'Paul's girl,' but for some reason I didn't mind. She was just as pretty as Emily, but her face was not marred like Emily's was and her long black hair was up in a high ponytail. "I'm Kim, Jared's wife," she said holding out her right hand and putting her left hand on the large bump that was her stomach. I quickly took her hand and smiled as I shook her hand.

"Amanda," I said with a pause, "and congratulations." Kim laughed lightly as we let go of each other's hands and put both hands on her stomach. "When are you due?"

"January seventeenth," she said, "and I'm looking forward to it."

"My birthday's January sixteenth, so, here's to hoping he or she comes a day early," I said and Kim smiled.

"That would be something. I'll see what I can do," she humored me and we all shared a laugh before I was introduced to Abigail, Claire's mother, and enlisted in helping prepare the food. I wasn't a terrible cook, but I wasn't the best either; so, I was worried that I would screw something up. When I expressed my concerns, they dismissed them telling me that my hands would be welcome.

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When Paul and the guys came back in, Emily kicked them all out of the kitchen and sent Claire and the kids into the living room with them so we could finish up dinner. It was nearly two in the afternoon, but we were cooking so much food it was taking a while. It was then that I realized I had missed taking my medicine at noon. "Um, Emily, could I have a glass of water?" I asked and she looked at me and nodded.

"Sure, glasses are in the cupboard to your right," she said and I quickly thanked her and got a glass of water.

"I'll be right back," I told her and she had a small frown on her face but she nodded. I rushed into the living room and then into the hall where my coat was hanging. Paul had stood when I had jogged by the chair he had been sitting on and as I pulled out my small pill box he was at my side.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sounding like he was on high alert yet again and I looked up at him after I poured the four pills into my hand. I hated that I had so many to take; eight in the morning, four at noon, four at five, and then five before bed.

"I forgot to take my medicine," I said. "I'm two hours behind," I finished before I tossed all four pills into my mouth and took a big drink of water so none of them would get stuck.

"I'm sorry; I should have made sure you took it," Paul said as I swallowed and I frowned as I lowered the glass from my lips.

"Paul, my mother is on me enough about my medication," I said. "Please don't harp on me too." He raised his right hand to my face and ran his thumb along my cheek, making me blush and causing my stomach to fill with butterflies.

"I won't harp on you, Amanda, but I'm going to worry about you. I care too much about you to not worry," he said as he slowly started to lean down and it took me all of a second to realize what was about to happen. However, I couldn't let it happen. It wasn't that I didn't want him to kiss me, but it was all a little too soon for me. We were still getting to know each other and all his friends were in the living room just off the hall we stood in.

"Paul, please don't," I whispered as I put my free hand on his chest and gently pushed him back. He quickly lowered his hand from my face and took half a step back from me.

"I'm sorry," he said softly and I shook my head.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," I said quickly, my hand still resting on his chest and I closed the small distance between us. "I . . . It's just that, I don't think I'm ready for _that_ just yet." Paul was really the first guy I had ever taken a romantic interest in that was obtainable, so, my experience with guys was at zero and I didn't want to screw anything up. Understanding settled in his dark eyes and he nodded his head before he opened his mouth to say something, but he didn't get the words out.

"Uncle Paul!" Ethan shouted as he ran into the hall and Paul sighed softly. He turned to look down at Ethan. My heart was pounding so hard I was pretty sure everyone in the house could hear it. I took a slow deep breath to calm myself and smiled at Ethan when he gave me a funny look.

"What's up little man?" Paul asked as he squatted down so he was somewhat eye level with Ethan.

"Dad wanted me to tell you and Amanda that Mommy said dinner was ready," Ethan said and Paul chuckled as he reached out and ruffled the dark mop of hair on Ethan's head.

"All right, tell your Dad we'll be right there," Paul said and Ethan smiled before he raced back into the living room and into what I assumed was the dining room because he went through a different door than the one that led into the kitchen. Paul stood up and looked at me. "Ready to eat?" he asked, putting his hands in the front pockets of his dark jeans.

"Yeah," I said with a smile, choosing to ignore what happened before Ethan came rushing over to us. He nodded and as I adjusted my grip on the half empty glass of water, we walked through the living room and through the door Ethan had charged into. The guys must have helped Emily, Abigail, and Kim bring everything in because the buffet table was filled with the steaming food that had taken hours to prepare.

"Ladies, children, Ken and Michael first," Emily said with a smile as she looked at the guys, especially Embry and Quill, before she started fixing a plate for I assumed either Ethan or Sara.

"Go on," Paul urged in a whisper as his hand rested on the small of my back and he took the glass of water from my hands. I gasped at the heat of his hand on my lower back before I stepped forward and took the plate Claire held out to me. I smiled at her in thanks as we went along the buffet style setting and helped ourselves to the food. Claire and I chatted as we filled our plates. I learned she was fourteen and in the middle of eighth grade at the middle school on the reservation.

"Whatever you've done to Paul, I like it," Claire whispered once our plates were full and we sat down next to each other at the table. Kim was settled across from me and smiled at me when I caught her eye as I laughed lightly. I then glanced at Paul to see him talking to Jared before I looked back at the slightly younger girl.

"I haven't done anything to him," I whispered back. "We've only known each other for a few days." She shrugged as she took a bite of her mashed potatoes and swallowed quickly.

"He's not as grumpy as he used to be," Claire said. "I don't ever remember him smiling as much as he has the last few days, and I've known him my whole life." I looked back at the serving table only to see Paul walking over with two plates, each filled with almost twice the amount of food Claire and I had on our plates. Quil was behind him with pretty much the same set up and I realized then why Emily said that everyone else got their food before the largest of the guests did. Jared, Seth, Embry, Sam, and even Leah were all consuming considerable amounts of food.

"You're seriously going to eat all that?" I asked Paul as he sat his plates down in front of the empty chair that rested to my right and sank down into the seat. Even sitting he towered over me, and that just wasn't fair.

"Yes," he said with a laugh as Quil sat down next to Claire.

"Where do you put it?" I asked and Paul leaned back in his chair before he tapped his hand against his stomach. The sound that emanated from his hand hitting his stomach wasn't the hollow thump I heard when I hit my stomach. It was a hard slap sound and I refused to let myself think of what lied underneath his shirt. I had blushed enough around him, I didn't need to do it anymore that day, and if I went there I would be as red as a tomato.

"Right here," he said. "Where else would I put it?"

"I have no idea," I said, recovering quickly with a smile. "That's why I asked." He grinned as he picked up a fork and dug into his food, but not before he winked at me. I laughed before I started to eat my own food, which was absolutely delicious.

As the conversation around the table continued, I felt strangely at home with the large group of strangers around me. It was a long while before I finally couldn't put another morsel of food in my stomach and when I had my fill, I sat back in my chair with my hands on my lap under the table. Claire caught my attention and we started chatting again; her asking what my life was like in Seattle and me asking if living in La Push was as great as I thought it was.

I was listening to a particularly interesting story involving a friend of theirs I had yet to meet, Jacob, when a hot hand wrapped itself around my right hand under the table. I knew it was Paul, but he was still eating and engaged in a conversation with Jared across the table. It was very hard to listen to Claire as she talked while Paul's thumb rubbed small circles on the back of my hand, but I managed it. However, I was pretty sure my soft gasp and blush didn't go unnoticed because Claire was grinning at me as she spoke and I knew it had nothing to do with the story she was sharing.


	7. Chapter 7

Holy Hannah, you guys are amazing. I really didn't think that so many people would take interest in this story, but I am so happy that you all like it so much. To say 'thank you' I'm posting Chapter 7 this morning instead of tonight for you all. Thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 7

As the night wore on, Ethan and Sara were tucked in bed to await Santa Claus and Christmas morning. Sara had taken a liking to me just like her brother did and had spent a majority of the night we had all spent in the living room settled on my lap and playing with my braid after I had pulled it over my shoulder. I had to help Emily tuck her into bed because she wouldn't let Sam take her upstairs.

With the kids tucked in their beds, everyone had pretty much said their goodbyes and gone home. The only ones remaining at Sam and Emily's were Kim, Jared, Paul, and I. Emily and Kim were snuggled close the men in their lives and I was settled on the sofa next to Paul, but unlike Kim and Emily I wasn't snuggled into his side. We were enjoying mugs of hot cocoa but the guys declined the drink leaving more for us girls.

"Thank you for having me over," I said with a smile. "I know I've said it several times, but I really appreciate it. It's been so long since I've just had fun that I almost forgot what it was like." Paul's left arm that was resting behind me on the back of the sofa lowered so it was resting on my shoulders and he scooted closer to me. His warmth was welcome because I had grown chilled yet again.

"Thank you for coming," Emily said. "I don't think I have ever seen Sara sit still for so long since before she could crawl." I smiled before I took a small drink from my still steaming glass. I was rather tired, but I didn't want to lose the great company around me just yet and I didn't want Paul to take me home.

"You're a natural, Amanda," Kim said and I looked at her and the bright smile that was on her face as she rested her hand on her stomach. "After you get married, do you know how many kids you want to have?" I looked down at my mug of cocoa and frowned a bit. I didn't know how to answer that question.

After I was diagnosed and well enough to do a little research about lupus I found out a few things the doctors hadn't covered. During my research I learned that pregnancy with lupus needed to be planned and the disease in remission to be safe for both the baby and me. If it wasn't, I could miscarry, deliver a stillborn, or have severe complications. Also, if I ever had children, I would have to see an obstetrician that specialized in high risk pregnancies and I would have to be very careful.

"I don't know," I said finally, realizing that I had spaced off when they were all looking at me and I looked back at Kim. "I never really thought about it because that is in the far distant future." That was a small lie. Before I'd gotten sick, I always said I wanted at least four kids because I wanted a big family. I felt terrible for lying, but I couldn't exactly say I didn't know if I was ever going to have children because it would be risky.

"Well, however many you have, you'll be a great mom," Emily said and I smiled at her. Before I could hold it back, I yawned. I quickly covered my mouth with my left hand, but Paul caught the yawn and shifted in his seat.

"Maybe I should get you home," Paul said and I looked up and over my right shoulder at him. "I don't want your mom angry with me for bringing you home too late." I glanced at the clock and saw that it was quarter after nine.

"I suppose so," I said. "She won't be very happy with me if I'm not home before ten." Paul gave me a crooked smile before he took the mug from my hand and sat it on the coffee table before helping me up from the couch. Emily stood and quickly came over to me and embraced me warmly and I smiled again as I hugged her back.

"You have to come over again, Amanda. If not to visit me, but to visit with Ethan and Sara," Emily said as we pulled apart and I laughed lightly. "They took a liking to you."

"I'd love to. Even if it's just to babysit," I said and she smiled. I bid good bye to Sam and walked over to Kim and Jared. Kim made to stand, but I shook my head as I leaned down and hugged her. She laughed and hugged me back. I pulled away and smiled down at her. "Remember our deal," I said as I pointed to her stomach and she grinned.

"I'll do my best," she said and Jared was looking at me curiously.

"What are you talking about?" Jared asked and I smiled at him.

"She's due on the seventeenth," I said and he nodded. "My birthday's the sixteenth." He smiled then before he stood from his wife's side and hugged me. Jared was like Paul. He was an inch shorter than Paul, but his body was hot to the touch and comforting like Paul's was. Soon, we finished with our goodbyes and Paul made sure I was bundled up before he ushered me outside to his truck. It had started snowing again, so, his truck was covered with a layer of snow.

"You can sit in the cab while I brush off the snow," he said. I nodded silently as he helped me into the truck on the driver's side and handed me the keys. "Start her up and crank up the heat." I did as he said while he closed the door and grabbed his snow scraper from the bed of his truck. I sighed when the air finally turned warm and I put my gloved hands up to the vent as I watched Paul brush away the snow.

The clouds must not have been very thick because even though it was snowing, the moon's light was still bright enough behind the clouds to cast a soft and gentle glow down upon the house and the trees. Normally when the snow landed in someone's hair it would stick for a while, I know it did on mine, but the second the snow hit Paul's head and face it melted away and I smiled as I watched him wipe away the wetness from his skin.

While he worked, it gave me the opportunity to study him privately. He was really . . . beautiful. There was no other word that would accurately describe him. I was suddenly kicking myself for stopping him from kissing me earlier that day. If I hadn't, I would already know what his full lips felt like against my own. Now, that was all I wanted to know. After a minute of staring it was as if he felt my eyes on him, and he looked at me through the windshield he just finished clearing off. My face flushed a bit at being caught, but I smiled at him to make it seem like it was completely natural for me to be drooling at the mere thought of his lips against mine.

I expected the cocky grin I had seen him give Jared early that night when they were talking about something that had happened ages ago. I was not expecting the warm and endearing smile he gave me before he finished brushing off the snow. I laughed lightly and shook my head to shake away my deepening blush as I lowered my hands and settled them in my lap. I watched Paul tuck the snow brush back under the tarp in the bed of his truck before he opened the driver's side door. I scooted across the bench seat of the old truck and settled myself on the passenger side and buckled my seat belt.

The ride to my grandparents' house was spent in a comfortable silence. Paul was driving slowly, I assumed because of the weather, but I was silently hoping it was because he was dreading dropping me off. I watched the snow fall in front of the headlights and sighed softly when I knew my grandparents' driveway was quickly approaching. It wasn't long before he turned in to my grandparents' driveway and drove to the house. The lights were still on, so, I knew everyone was still up and probably waiting for me. He stopped his truck next to Dad's SUV and put it in park. I looked at him and he looked at me with a small smile on his face.

"Will I see you after Christmas?" I asked.

"Do you want to see me?" he asked and I unbuckled my seatbelt and scooted closer to him so I was sitting more in the middle of the seat.

"Of course I want to see you again," I said and he raised his right arm so it rested on the back of the seat and behind me. His dark eyes were focused on me and I smiled at him. "I don't remember a better Christmas Eve. Thank you for today, Paul. It's been so long since I've just had fun like I did today. You've given me the best Christmas present I could ask for this year."

"Actually, this is your Christmas present," he said as he reached into his coat with his left hand and pulled out a small but long black box. I frowned as I looked at the box and then at him. "Take it," he said with a soft smile. Hesitantly, I took the box from him and looked down at it in my hands for a second before he chuckled. "You can open it you know," he said and I looked at him. "Please?" he asked and I sat the box down on my lap before I pulled off my gloves and sat them on the seat between Paul and me. I picked up the box again and took off the lid only gasp when I saw what rested on the soft lining of the box.

"Paul, I can't accept this," I said as I tore my eyes away from the beautiful gray and white swirled single pearl like pendant that rested on a dainty silver chain.

"Yes you can," he said and I shook my head as I put the lid of the box back on.

"No, I can't," I said before I tried to hand it back to him, but he raised his left hand and gently pushed my hands back towards my chest.

"Please, Amanda, I got it for you," he said and I shook my head.

"Why?" I asked, confused as to why he would get me anything, especially something so nice, when we'd known each other for a total of three days.

"I was doing last minute shopping for a gift for my mom and when I saw it, I thought of you," he said with the honesty of his answer bright in his dark eyes. I didn't know what to say, so, I did what my heart told me to do. I leaned close to him and placed a kiss on his right cheek. I pulled back slowly and paused when my face was just inches from his.

"Thank you," I whispered and he smiled softly.

"You're welcome," he whispered back. It was the perfect moment. Paul and I just looking at each other and the snow falling around us outside; the only sounds around us were our gentle breaths and the soft hum of the engine of the truck.

Paul slowly raised his left hand to my face and all the apprehension I had when I found myself in this very situation hours earlier was nowhere to be found. I wanted him to kiss me. I _needed _him to kiss me. I started to close the small distance between us, and upon realizing I was closing in Paul started to lean into me. His labored and heated breath brushed across my lips and as I started to close my eyes in the anticipation of his kiss a sound knocking on the glass of the passenger window made both Paul and I practically jump out of our skin. We looked to the window to see Grandpa standing on the other side of the door, a grin on his face.

"Time to come inside, Amanda," came his voice from the other side of the glass and I sighed as I tried to calm my heartbeat. I nodded and looked back at Paul, who sighed heavily as he took his arm off the back of the seat and settled his hands on the steering wheel.

"Good night, Paul," I said and he looked at me. "Merry Christmas." He smiled then and my heart started beating rapidly yet again.

"Merry Christmas, Amanda," he said. I slid across the seat, opened the passenger door, and climbed out of the truck. Grandpa closed the door behind me and waived at Paul before he put his arm around my shoulders and guided me to the house. I heard Paul's truck pull out of the driveway and I sighed softly as I looked down at the box in my hands.

"What's that?" Grandpa asked and I looked at him.

"Paul got me a gift," I said and he smiled as we walked up the porch steps.

"That was nice of him," he said and I nodded. I realized then that I had left my gloves in Paul's truck, but I really didn't care. He'd give them back to me when he came to visit again.

"We we starting to wonder if you were ever coming in," came Derek's voice from the living room when Grandpa and I went inside the house. After taking off my boots so I would drag any snow through the house and tucking my gift from Paul into the pocket of my coat, I gave Mom a sheepish smile as she looked at me expectantly.

"Sorry," I said. "I lost track of time at Sam and Emily's."

"That's not what I meant," Derek said and I looked at him with a frown before I looked back at Mom.

"You were sitting in that young man's truck for the last fifteen minutes," Mom said as she stood from the sofa and walked over to me. My eyes widened. I hadn't realized we'd been parked outside the house for that long. "You're father was ready to go out there and drag you inside, but I sent him in the kitchen too get a drink while Grandpa went out to get you. Just what were you doing out there?"

"I don't have to have a talk with that boy do I, Amanda?" Dad asked as he came into the living room, glass of water in hand. I opened my mouth to answer when Grandpa answered for me.

"They were just talking, Mitchell," he said and I looked away from Dad to Mom when he looked skeptical. Mom raised an eyebrow in doubt as she looked at Grandpa and then at me. I blushed under her gaze, but nodded all the same. After all, that's all we had been doing. Grandpa came out and stopped anything more from happening. "There's no need for either of you to look at her that way. They weren't even sitting close to each other when I went out there." I loved Grandpa even more than I already did at that very moment when his answer seemed to satisfy my parents.

"Well, if I'm going to be any good tomorrow, I should get to bed," I said before I bid everyone good night and after kissing Grandpa's cheek I rushed upstairs to my room. I took Paul's gift out of my pocket and sat it on the vanity that rested under the window. Once my coat and scarf were tucked into the closet I went back to the vanity and opened the box before I carefully took the pendant off its velvet resting place and smiled as the chain sparkled from the light in the room. I decided then that I was going to wear it the following day, but hide it under my shirt so my family wouldn't ask questions.

I put it back in its box and as I put the lid on, I looked out the window and noticed something large moving at the edge of the trees. I leaned closer to the window and narrowed my eyes to try and get a better look, but whatever had been there was no longer there and I frowned. However, I decided to forget about it and got ready for bed. I knew my dreams that night were going to be filled with a large and sweet young man who I was falling head over heels for.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you all so so much for your reviews and adds! I hope you like this chapter and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 8

Christmas Day was less eventful than Christmas Eve, but after getting rather nice gifts from my grandparents and Mom and Dad; we all had a nice dinner and an evening filled with board games and charades. When everyone was getting ready for bed, I was upstairs in my room playing with the amazing digital camera I had gotten from my parents. I didn't think they would actually get me one when I had put it on the wish list Mom always told Derek and me to write. I snapped a random picture just as there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," I said as I turned in my vanity chair and looked at the door. Grandpa came in to the room, smiling as he looked at me. "Hi Grandpa," I said, putting my new camera down onto the vanity next to my make up bag. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, Amanda, don't worry," he said through his smile before he walked over to me and brought his left hand from behind his back. "I was going to give this to you earlier, but there wasn't a time." It was the old book of Quileute legends he always read from during the nights we spent our summers on the reservation with him and Grandma when we were little.

"That's your book, Grandpa," I said with a frown as I took the extended book from his hands. "Why are you giving it to me?"

"You're the only one that ever really enjoyed listening to the legends," he said, "and it's time I pass them down. It'll be up to you to keep the legends alive in the family."

"You make it sound like you're planning on not being around to see any great-grandchildren come your way," I said, my frown still in place as I pressed the worn book to my chest. He chuckled as he gently tapped my chin with the fingers of his left hand.

"Oh, I'll be around," he said, "but I know them all by heart after hearing them and reading them for the last sixty-four years. You've got to learn them now." There was something in his eyes I didn't really understand. It was like he was trying to tell me something without actually telling me, but I was always terrible at silent communication unless it was with my friends.

"Thank you, Grandpa," I whispered as I sat the book down next to my camera and stood, embracing the old man tightly. He laughed lightly as he kissed the scarf on top of my head. I pulled back from him and he was still smiling as he looked down at me.

"Have I ever told you how proud I am of you?" he asked.

"What have I ever done to make you proud?" I asked, confused as to why Grandpa was being so sentimental at that moment.

"You're smart," he said as if it was obvious, and I held back the scoff that wanted to escape. I studied my ass off to maintain the 3.87 GPA I managed with three of my five classes a day being AP classes; plus, with missing quite a bit of school the last semester I had to work even harder. Sometimes I wondered if my brain was going to explode. "You don't let anything get you down. You're a fighter. You must have a bit of the warrior spirit in you."

"I'm your granddaughter aren't I?" I asked, remembering the stories Grandma used to tell of Grandpa's temper and how he had 'pestered' her for ages before she finally agreed to go out with him.

"That you are," Grandpa said with a chuckle. "You know, you never showed me what Paul gave you." I smiled before I carefully pulled on the silver chain that was wrapped around my neck and pulled the beautiful pendant free from underneath the sweatshirt I was wearing. He raised his right hand and I rested the pendant on his fingertips.

"I tried to get him to take it back, but he refused," I said as he looked at it. "He told me he thought of me when he saw it, and that he wanted me to have it."

"It's very pretty," Grandpa said as he moved his fingers and let the pendant fall against my chest. "He likes you a great deal, you know that don't you?" I raised my hand to the pendant, gently playing with it between my first and middle fingers of my right hand.

"I know," I said softly.

"Do you like him?" Grandpa asked and I felt my cheeks heat in yet another blush. Grandpa was asking me if I liked a boy, no a man really since he was twenty-seven years old, and I found it very hard to give him an answer. I knew the answer of course, but I really didn't want to have that conversation with my grandfather of all people. If my cell was working properly, I would have called my best friend, Emma, and talked to her about the whole Paul situation. "Amanda?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow and I sighed as I sank down into the vanity chair behind me and lowered my hand.

"I do," I said, turning my eyes to the window and outside to the snow that was falling again that night.

"Why do you sound so apprehensive about it?" Grandpa asked and I looked up at him.

"I'm not apprehensive, Grandpa," I said, shaking my head negatively. "We just haven't known each other very long. How do I know he really means what he says?" I asked, finally voicing the nagging concern that had been in the back of mind since the moment Paul had told me I didn't know how much I meant to him after knowing me for less than a day.

"Paul's a nice young man," Grandpa said. "He won't just say something to get the benefit of the doubt. Now, he's not perfect. He can have a temper sometimes, but he's gotten better with it as he's gotten older. There's less stress in his life now than there used to be, and he'd be good for you."

"How could anything possibly work? Especially when I've got this illness and he's so much older."

"Keep your heart open, Amanda," Grandpa said. "Trust it." I had never seen Grandpa so serious about anything in my entire life, and he was basically telling me to go for Paul. I never thought I'd ever hear of a grandfather encouraging his granddaughter to go for a guy.

"All right, Grandpa, I'll try," I said and he smiled before he kissed my forehead. We said good night and when he closed the door behind him, I sighed and looked out the window once more.

The night before I had been so sure of whatever it was that was developing between Paul and me; but when I was away from him and my mind had time to process everything, doubt creped in. Paul was very sweet, kind, and downright gorgeous; but that only made me wonder what he could possibly see in me all the more. I believed Grandpa because he knew Paul better than I did and he was the best judge of character I had ever known. I decided then that I would go with the flow and see what developed. Plus, I hadn't been able to shake the desire to know what his lips felt like and I wouldn't be satisfied until I did.

A slow smile spread across my face as I looked away from the window and down at the book Grandpa had given me. I needed something to distract my brain from over thinking, so, I picked up the old book and padded over to the bed. I crawled under the covers and settled myself back against the pillows before I was soon lost in the legends of my Quileute ancestors.

* * *

A soft deep chuckle woke me from my peaceful sleep and I took a deep breath as I slowly opened my eyes upon feeling a weight being lifted off my chest. I blinked several times to get used to the light before I finally noticed Paul standing next to the bed. I sat up quickly, making sure my scarf was still on my head, and looked at him curiously before he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Some light reading?" he asked as he held up the book and I smiled as I took the book from him.

"Grandpa gave it to me yesterday," I said before I rubbed the sleep from my eyes with my right hand. "What are you doing up here?" I asked as I lowered my hand to my lap.

"Your grandpa said I could come up and wake you," he said and I raised an eyebrow. Mom and Dad wouldn't have let him do that, and I doubt that Paul was able to sneak upstairs. "Your mom and dad took your grandma to Port Angeles for the day and Derek's in his room," Paul answered as if he knew what I was thinking.

"Oh," I said softly and after a few seconds of just looking at each other, I looked down at the book in my hands and blushed lightly. I never looked particularly presentable in the morning, and I had a feeling that that morning was no exception.

"What's wrong?" Paul asked he raised his hand and tilted my chin up so I was looking at him. "Did Santa not bring you what you wanted?" he asked and I laughed as I put the book down on the bed next to me and gently shoved at his shoulder. He laughed and caught my left hand before he brought it to rest on his knee as he laced his fingers with mine.

"Santa brought me what I wanted," I said after I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat and he grinned.

"What did he bring you?" he asked and I rolled my eyes before I found myself smiling again.

"A few new scarves, a $200.00 gift card, and a digital camera," I said listing off my presents. Mom and Dad got me the scarves and camera while my grandparents' gave me the gift card. "What about you?"

"I got all I wanted before Christmas. I just spent the day with my parents," Paul said through his smile, but I found mine slipping as his eyes never left my face. "What's on your mind?" he asked.

"I just woke up," I said, "and this isn't exactly how I want you to see me."

"You're beautiful just like this, Amanda," he said and my heart did that silly sputtering thing again as my stomach knotted. His dark eyes were nothing but honest as they held my gaze. The desire to kiss him was back in full force again, but it wasn't exactly the ideal place to kiss him; especially if Grandpa or Derek decided to waltz into the room.

"You're sweet, Paul, really, but I'm a mess," I said as I pulled my hand from his. I carefully climbed from the bed so I wouldn't bump him and grabbed the book. I heard him sigh as I tucked the book onto the bookshelf with the other pieces that I kept at my grandparents' place. However, when I left for home that book would be coming with me.

"Come out with me today," he said suddenly from behind me and I turned around to look at him. He stood from the bed, and his face was set with a small frown as he looked at me.

"Where would we go?" I asked and he took two steps over to me, closing the small distance that I had put between us.

"Anywhere you want to go," he said and I hesitated. "Your grandpa won't tell your mom and I'll have you home well before they get back." He raised his right hand to my face and gently cupped my cheek before he ran his thumb along my cheekbone. "Please, Amanda. I want to spend the day with you; just you and me."

"_Keep your heart open, Amanda. Trust it,"_ Grandpa's words from the night before echoed in my head and my mental debate of weighing the pros and cons about going with Paul and possibly getting caught by my parents stopped. When it came to Paul I needed to stop thinking with my head. I needed to follow my heart, and it was screaming at me to go with him.

"All right," I whispered as I looked up at him. "Can we go out for breakfast?" He smiled before he nodded and lowered his hand from my face.

"Sure," he said. "I know the perfect place." He just stood there, looking down at me with that breathtaking smile of his plastered on his face.

"I need to get ready," I said with a small smile when he hadn't moved after several seconds of staring.

"Right," he said with a light laugh. "I'll just be downstairs with your grandpa." I nodded and he gently grasped my shoulders and brought his lips down to my forehead before he left the room, closing the door behind him. After a silent prayer that Mom and Dad would take forever in Port Angeles with Grandma so I could spend more than just the morning with Paul, I started getting ready. However, as I stood in front of my closet I had a serious problem. What in the hell was I going to wear?


	9. Chapter 9

I know I say this all the time, but thank you all so much for your reviews and adds. Now, I'm posting a second (and super long) chapter today since I won't be able to post on Saturday because I am going out of town tomorrow until Sunday afternoon. Thank you all so much for reading and I'll post again as soon as I can. Please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 9

Forty-five minutes later I headed downstairs with my coat and scarf resting over my arm and I nervously adjusted my shirt. I had decided on a dark blue long sleeved v-neck shirt that I layered with a white tank top underneath, a pair of black jeans, and my white scarf wrapped around my hair that I left down. Thanks to the collar of the shirts the necklace Paul gave me for Christmas was easy to see and I hoped he would notice that I was wearing it. I walked into the kitchen to find Paul sitting at the table with Grandpa and both men looked at me when I entered the room.

"Morning," I said to Grandpa and he smiled at me.

"Morning, Amanda," he said before he took a drink of his coffee. "Paul told me he's taking you out for breakfast." I nodded as I walked further into the room and came to a stop next to Paul.

"If it's okay," I said and Grandpa smiled.

"It's fine," Grandpa said. "They won't be home until at list six or seven, so, you can even make a day of it if you want." I looked at Paul only to see him smile at Grandpa before he looked up at me. At least I was taller than him when he was sitting in the low chair and I was standing. He looked away from me and picked up something from the table and held it out to me.

"You left these in my truck," he said and I smiled when I realized it was my gloves.

"Thanks," I said as I took them from him. He stood then and wrapped his right arm around my shoulders before he looked at Grandpa.

"I'll have her back before her parents get home," Paul promised and Grandpa smiled and nodded his head.

"You two have fun," Grandpa said and Paul ushered me into the hall before he helped me with my coat and then took my hand as he walked me to his truck. The old truck was already running and it was nice and warm in the cab as I settled myself into my seat. Paul was quick to get in the truck and soon the two of us were on our way.

"So, does this place we're going serve waffles?" I asked to break the comfortable silence in the cab and he chuckled.

"Why? Do you have a craving for waffles or something?" he asked and I smiled.

"No, I just like waffles," I said, "and it's been a while since I had them."

"They have waffles," he assured me as he laughed again and put his right hand on his thigh so he was driving his truck with his left hand. Without really thinking, I reached over with my left hand and took his right hand into mine. It surprised him, because his eyes snapped to my face for a second before he gently squeezed my hand and returned his eyes to the road. I didn't know what possessed me to take his hand, but I wanted to touch him and e didn't seem to mind at all.

It didn't take us long to reach the quant diner that rested in the heart of La Push and the reservation. The second we walked in, Paul was greeted by several of the older men that sat in the diner eating their breakfasts. Paul smiled and nodded his head at them before he and I found a table and started taking off our coats. We had no more sat down with an older Native American woman came up to the table, her long silver gray hair tied in a ponytail at the base of her neck and a smile on her face as she looked between me and Paul.

"Morning Paul," she said. "Who's your friend?" she asked as she returned her eyes to me. I heard Paul sigh and I looked at him.

"Aunt Laura, this is Amanda; Amanda this is my Aunt Laura," Paul said. "I thought you weren't working today," he said looking up at the older woman and I did the same.

"I wasn't supposed to but Millie called in today," she said. "Her son surprised her for the holidays and she wanted to spend another day with him. Who am I to deny her that?" She returned her eyes to me and smiled. "Aren't you just a pretty thing," she said. "What can I get you today?"

"Um," I said not really sure what to say since I hadn't even looked at the menu. Paul chuckled and I looked at him.

"She'll have a glass of orange juice, the waffle platter with fruit," he said for me and Laura grinned as she quickly wrote everything down on her notepad. "I'll have the usual."

"Coming right up," she said and she winked at me before turning and heading to the kitchen. I smiled as I looked at Paul.

"Ordering for me now?" I asked as I rested my arms on the table and he grinned as he did the same thing.

"You looked like you needed some help," he said. I laughed lightly as I looked down at the table for a second and then returned my eyes to him.

"I was surprised by our waitress being your aunt," I told him honestly. "Plus, I hadn't even looked at the menu." He laughed and smiled at me before he reached out with his left hand and tugged my right hand from where I had it tucked in my left elbow. He took my hand and laced his fingers with mine. I knew I was blushing, but the heat of his hand and the slight roughness of his skin against mine made my entire body tingle in a way I never felt before.

"It's her diner," Paul said. "I didn't think she'd be here today. I know you're not ready for the craziness that is my Aunt Laura," he finished in a whisper and I giggled. Yes, I giggled and Paul smiled at the sound.

"If I can handle Embry's craziness, I think I can handle your aunt," I said and he seemed to think for a moment before he smiled.

"I never thought about that. You're right," he said and I smiled.

"Here you go," Laura said and I looked away from Paul and to her as she stopped at the table and put down a large glass of orange juice in front of me and a cup of coffee in front of Paul. Paul smiled up at his aunt, but he didn't let go of my hand like I expected him to and Laura smiled at me. "Your food shouldn't be too much longer, but it doesn't look like you two care too much at the moment," she said before she winked at me and walked away.

"See what I mean?" Paul asked as we returned our eyes to each other and I laughed before he let go of my hand to add cream and sugar to his coffee. I took a drink of my orange juice before I pulled out my pillbox from my jeans pocket and dumped my morning medicine in my hand. "Did you bring all the medication you need to take during the day?" he asked and I frowned as I looked at him.

"What?" I asked, hoping I heard him incorrectly.

"Did you bring all the medication you need to take during the day?" he asked again and I sighed before I looked away from him and took my medicine without answering him. At first, I thought he was just being protective; but his concern about my medication and how I was feeling all the time was getting on my nerves. "Amanda?" he asked when I took the last two pills and I sighed again as I looked at him.

"What?" I asked rather sharply and it was his turn to frown.

"Are you going to answer my question?" he asked.

"What happened to you not harping on me about my medication?" I asked.

"I was just curious," he said, his frown still in place. "I worry about you."

"Paul, I'm seventeen not seven. I know what I have to do to take care of myself and I don't need you to remind me." I stood up and walked away from the table angry at not only Paul, but at myself for snapping at him all because he cares about me. I found the restroom and quickly went inside to calm myself down. I took a deep breath as I walked over to the counter and rested my palms against the cool countertop before I raised my head and looked in the mirror. Tears of frustration lined my eyes and I closed them to stop them from falling.

"Amanda," came Paul's muffled voice from the other side of the door, but I didn't answer him. "Amanda, I'm sorry. Please, come out and lets talk about this." With a deep breath I pushed my arms away from the counter and opened my eyes before I walked over to the door. I opened it, but remained inside the door as I looked up at him. His face crumbled upon seeing my face and he gently put his hand on the door to keep it open. Thankfully, the restroom was in a small hall off the dining area so we weren't putting on a show for the old men sitting at the tables near the entrance to the all. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"I'm sorry too, but you have to understand where I'm coming from," I said, my eyes pleading with him to listen. "All I want is one day where no one asks me if I'm okay. One day where no one asks me if I took my medicine. One day when I can forget the last seven months of my life and not have someone remind me of it."

"Starting right now, today, can be that day," Paul said as he pushed open the door, kept it open with his foot, and pulled me close to him. He wrapped his left arm around my waist before he tilted my head up to look at him with his right hand. The heat from his body was so welcoming and it never failed to warm my always chilled body. I wanted to push him away and continue being upset, but it was very hard to do with the mild desperation shining in his eyes.

"Can you go the whole day without asking me if I'm okay?" I asked, my doubt easy to hear in my voice.

"I promise not to ask you if you're okay . . . unless you fall down or something. Then I'm asking," he hastily added and I laughed then, which made him smile before he leaned down and rested his forehead against mine. It was an incredibly intimate gesture and probably rather uncomfortable for him seeing as he towered over me.

My heart raced as his right hand slid from my face to rest on my neck. His thumb ran gently across my jaw line and his left arm tightened its hold on me so I was as close to him as I possibly could be with his head bent the way it was. Forgetting we were in the middle of a diner, owned by his aunt no less, I did something that even I didn't expect myself to do. I tilted my chin up and brushed my lips against his in a ghost of a kiss. It took Paul a moment to realize what I had done, but the second he did he lifted his head slightly and pressed his warm and soft lips to mine.

I swear the entire world stood still as Paul literally swept me off my feet. He lifted me from the ground, pressing my body tight to his, so he could kiss me with more ease. No one existed outside of Paul and myself at that very moment and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, my hands instantly burying themselves in his ink black hair. My entire body tingled and screamed for me to get closer, but there was no distance between us for me to close, and as his tongue ran along my bottom lip a loud throat clearing tore our lips apart. Both Paul and I looked in the direction of the sound only to see a chuckling Laura, whose hands were resting on her hips.

"I think you two should come eat your breakfast while it's hot," she said through her chuckles. "It looks like you'll need all the energy you can get." She turned away and walked back into the diner and I felt my face heat from more than my activities with Paul. I looked at the boy in question and he too was blushing as he looked at me with a satisfied smile on his face, which only made me blush deeper. I untangled my fingers from his hair and rested my hands on his shoulders.

"We should go eat our breakfast," I said softly and he nodded.

"Yeah," he said with his deep voice even huskier than normal. However, after a few seconds he was still staring at me and holding me several inches up from the floor.

"You need to put me down first." He chuckled nervously, blushed a little deeper, and then settled me on the floor. I adjusted my top, hoping I didn't look like I had just had a minute long make out session. I gave him a shy smile before I started to walk pass him, only he put his arm out; effectively blocking me from stepping out of the doorway. I looked up at him and his eyes held mind for several beats before he smiled, leaned down, and placed a chaste kiss upon my lips.

"Let's go eat," he whispered before he lowered his arm, took my hand into his, and led me back to our table. We earned several curious glances, but I didn't care. I just wanted Paul to kiss me like that again, and soon.

* * *

After our moment in the doorway of the diner's restroom, breakfast was a normal affair. Paul and I talked while we ate and I managed to get my blushing face under control even when his aunt would send me a wink when my eyes caught hers. We were in his truck again, driving in the opposite direction of where I knew my grandparents' house rested and I looked at him.

"Where are we going now?" I asked and he rubbed his thumb along the back of my gloved hand that held onto his as he drove.

"First Beach," he said and I raised an eyebrow. He glanced at me when I didn't say anything and he laughed at my expression. "I know it's cold outside, but we can sit in the truck and talk, and we'll actually be able to carry on a conversation without anyone listening in." I smiled at his exasperated tone. He was clearly thinking of his aunt, who had wiped down the tables next to us far more times than what was necessary.

"That sounds nice," I said and he smiled, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. Soon, he let go of my hand simply because he needed to have both hands on the wheel as he drove along the snow covered path that led to the beach. The moment he parked the truck and turned off the ignition, I unbuckled my seatbelt and scooted closer to him for not only his body heat but to just be close to him. Now that the whole 'first kiss' thing was out of the way, I was far more comfortable around him than I had been before. Once I was close enough, he wrapped his right arm around me and pulled me even closer until I was snuggled up into his side.

"Warm enough?" he asked.

"Yes," I said softly as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Amanda?" he asked after several comfortable minutes of looking out the windshield and at the water crashing gently against the shore.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"What do you imagine your life to be like after you graduate high school?" he asked and I raised my head from his shoulder and looked at him.

"You mean, like, where do I see myself?" I asked and he nodded. "Well, I had hoped to go to college on the east coast, but since I got sick I decided that it would be best to stay close to home. I didn't get any of my applications in on time to start next fall, but if I'm accepted at the University of Washington, I'm hoping to start classes the second semester."

"What do you want to go to college for?" he asked as he raised his hand from my shoulder and started playing with my hair.

"Elementary Education. I want to be a teacher," I said and he gave me a small smile as he looked at me, which made me blush yet again. "What?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Nothing, it's just . . . I can see you with a classroom of kids," he said. "It's a nice image."

"Really?" I asked and he smiled before he leaned into me and kissed me softly.

"Really," he whispered against my lips before he kissed me again, but not as innocently as he had just seconds before. I raised my right hand to his face and rested my hand on this cheek as we kissed, but his lips left mine far too soon and he sighed softly as he rested his forehead against mine once more. I smiled when I noticed his eyes were closed and I ran my fingers along his cheek before settling my hand where his broad shoulder met his neck. However, when he remained still and had yet to open his eyes I started worrying that I was doing something wrong.

"Am I not doing it right?" I asked and his eyes shot open as he raised his forehead from mine and looked at me.

"What?" he asked and I blushed.

"I've never . . . kissed anyone before," I admitted. "I'm not doing anything wrong am I?" I asked, lowering my hand from his neck but he quickly caught my right hand with his left.

"You're not doing anything wrong, Amanda," he said heavily and I could only blink in response because the inflection in his voice made my stomach twist in knots. Slowly, he laid the palm of my hand against his chest, which was firm and warm underneath my hand. His eyes held mine as I felt the rapid beating of his heart against my palm. "Do you feel that?" he asked in a whisper and I nodded because my own heart was meeting the steady beats of his. "You do this to me."

"I do?" I asked and he smiled as he pulled my hand from his chest and laced his bare fingers with my gloved ones.

"You do," he said and I found myself smiling as he looked at me. I knew then and there that there was no going back for me. I was falling in love with him, and I was scared to death.


	10. Chapter 10

Hello everyone! I got back early this morning and once I had everything settled I logged on to post an update. Thank you all for your reviews and adds. I like to respond personally to reviews, but for some reason my e-mail is being stupid. The system is supposedly down, so, I say THANK YOU to everyone that reviewed.

Okay, this is a crazy long author's note and I hate long notes, but there is one thing I want to address real quick. I know everyone is anxious for Paul to tell Amanda about the whole werewolf/shape shifter thing and he will be telling her very, very soon just not in this chapter. I hope you all like this chapter and the next one should be up on Tuesday. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 10

"I had a wonderful time today, Paul," I said softly as Paul drove me home later that afternoon. The day had been absolutely perfect. There was no other word to describe it. After we spent the morning at the beach, we stopped at the grocery store and bought a few things for lunch that we ate together in the parking lot in the cab of his truck before he showed me a few places on the reservation that I had never been to before. I couldn't have asked for a better day.

"I did too," Paul said with a smile as he glanced at me. I chuckled as I rested my head against the seat behind me and kept my eyes on Paul as he drove. "By the way, the necklace looks more beautiful on you than I thought it would." I smiled then and laughed lightly as I watched him drive.

"I wish I didn't have to go home," I said and I watched as his smile grew.

"If you don't want to get caught, you have to go home," he said and I sighed.

"I know," I said and Paul slowly took the turn down my grandparents' driveway. I raised my head and looked out the windshield only to have my stomach drop at the sight of Dad's SUV parked next to Grandpa's truck. "Oh no, they're home!" I exclaimed quietly before I looked at the clock on the dashboard. "It's not even four yet."

"It's okay, Amanda," Paul assured me as he parked the truck, but I shook my head.

"You don't understand," I said as I looked at him. "My mom is going to do worse than kill me." Paul scoffed to hold back his laugh. I knew what I said sounded silly, but I knew my mother and I knew what her punishment would be for me leaving the house with Paul and not getting her permission. It had taken me two months for me to convince her I didn't need her to stand outside the bathroom door while I used the facilities and it was taking much longer for her to let me have any of my independence back.

"What would be worse than killing you?" he asked, amusedly.

"She's going to ban me from seeing you for the rest of the time we're here," I said, my heart twisting at the very thought of not being able to see Paul. His smile was gone from his face as he took in my serious expression and sighed as he looked down to his lap. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel before he looked back at me and forced a tight lipped smile.

"Come on," he said. "We'll face the firing squad together." I nodded and we climbed out of the truck. He was quickly at my side, taking my hand into his as we made our way across the snow and up the porch. As I reached for the door, Paul gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and I opened the door as quietly as I could.

"How could you just let her go?" Mom's voice echoed from the kitchen where she was obviously arguing with Grandpa.

"Molly, it's not going to hurt her to have a little fun," Grandpa said and as Paul closed the door behind us it closed rather loudly and I winced as I looked to the kitchen door at the end of the hall. Mom was out in the hall a second later with a look on her face that made me move closer to Paul. He put a reassuring hand on my waist, but it did little to calm me.

"Amanda Elizabeth Kent, I have never been so angry in my entire life," Mom said as she walked down the short hall and stopped two feet in front of me. That was true because I had never seen my mother that angry. Ever. She turned her narrowed eyes up to Paul and put her hands on her lean hips. "And _you_," she said venomously. "You are far too old to even _think_ about gallivanting around town with my seventeen year old daughter." Paul made to take his hands off of me but I tightened my grip on his hand and put my hand over his that rested on my waist.

"Mom, calm down," I said and she looked at me. Everyone was gathering in the hall, and the only one that seemed to be agreeing with Mom was Dad, who was standing not far behind her with his arms crossed over his chest. Grandma was holding Grandpa back as she talked to him quietly and Derek was standing on the stairs shaking his head as he looked at the back of Mom's head and gave me a sympathetic look.

"Calm down?" Mom asked. "I get home ten minutes ago only to find you gone and your grandfather telling me you left the house with a twenty-seven year old man!"

"Mom, I will be eighteen in three weeks," I said reminding her of that fact, "and Paul and I didn't do _anything _wrong. We had breakfast, he showed me a few places in La Push that I'd never been to, and then we had a late lunch before he brought me home." She opened her mouth yell at me some more when I cut her off. "Before you even ask, I've taken my medicine. Paul made sure I did." At his name, Mom returned her eyes to Paul's face that was far above mine.

"This may be my parents' house, but she's my daughter," Mom said. "While we're here, you are not to come in this house and you are not allowed to be anywhere near her. Understood?"

"Mom!" I exclaimed, tears filling my eyes. I knew it was coming but hearing her actually say it was something else all together.

"Molly," Grandpa said as he finally broke away from Grandma and walked over to Mom. He grabbed her arm and turned her to look at him before he started talking to her quietly.

"It's all right, Amanda," Paul said softly as he pried his hands away from me and I turned around to look up at him. I grabbed his coat as I shook my head.

"No," I whispered and a pain unlike any I had ever seen washed over his face as he brought his hands to mine and pulled them from his coat.

"I need to go," he said and a tear made its way down my cheek. He wiped it away before he turned away from me and left. I shook my head again and after a second I quickly followed him outside.

"Paul!" I shouted as I ran down the stairs and he turned around just in time to catch me as I crashed against him. "I told you," I said before I buried my face in his chest and wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could. I didn't want to let him go. It was as if my heart was breaking into a million pieces and he was the only one that could keep it together.

"It'll be okay," he said softly as he kissed the top of my head.

"How?" I asked, doing my best to hold my tears back as I looked up at him. "How can it possibly be okay? She won't let me out of her sight from now on." He smiled then and raised his right hand to my face.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, echoing the very question he asked me the first day we met. My answer that day was far different from the new answer I gave him.

"With my life," I said honestly and without any hesitation. I knew I could always count on him and trust him with anything.

The look that crossed his face at my words was indescribable. It was as if I just handed him a suitcase with a million dollars inside and said it was his to keep with no strings attached. He closed the small distance between us and kissed me soundly upon the lips once more. I gripped the back of his jacket to keep my balance as I fell into him even more. Slowly, he pulled his lips from mine and the world came back into focus. The power behind that kiss left me breathless and I was practically panting as I looked at him and he smiled softly.

"Amanda!" came my mother's voice from the porch and the tears were back.

"Trust me, Amanda, I'll see you again," he whispered. He let me go then and went to his truck. With a long look at me through the windshield, he pulled out of the driveway and was gone. I wiped at my tears and slowly made my way back to the house.

"We're not done," Mom said and I looked up at her as she made to continue, but her angry expression faltered as my tear filled eyes met hers. We went into the warm house to find everyone still standing in the hall. "You will not be going anywhere with that man again." I turned around to look at her as I pulled the scarf from my neck and took off my gloves.

"When are you going to realize that I'm not a little girl anymore?" I asked rather bravely for me. I never talked back to my parents, and the surprise on her face wasn't unexpected.

"You may almost be an adult, Amanda, but you are certainly not ready to dive into any sort of relationship. Especially with him," she said.

"He has a name, and it's Paul," I said sharply. "How do you even know what I'm ready for?"

"You're still recovering! You need to be with your family in case anything happens." I laughed then and shook my head at the ridiculousness of her reasoning.

"Paul takes good care of me, Mom," I said. "He wouldn't let anything happen to me."

"You've known him for five days, Amanda. There's only one thing men like him want," Mom said and I laughed. I couldn't help it and her eyes only narrowed more as she looked at me.

"Men like him want what, Mom? Sex? Dad was a senior in college when you met him during your campus tour. Was that what Dad wanted when he took you out that night?" I asked and her dark cheeks flushed while her eyes widened. I heard Derek chuckle quietly behind me and Dad say my name, but I wasn't going to back down. The pain at not being able to see Paul was being replaced by anger at Mom for her hypocrisy.

"If that's all Paul wants out of me, then he's a great actor because all he really seems to care about is if I'm okay and if I'm happy. He doesn't say anything suggestive and he doesn't try to touch me inappropriately. Hell, Mom, I initiated our first kiss, which was this morning by the way."

"That's enough," Mom said tightly.

"I care about him," I continued. "I care about him so much that the very thought of not being able to see him is killing me, but you don't care. You want to keep me in this bubble because I'm sick, but you can't. You need to realize that even though I'm sick, you don't have to keep me under your wing. I want to live what life I've got the best I can and with you constantly pulling me and holding me back like you do, what life I do have will be miserable."

I wasn't able to hold back my tears anymore and I said all that I was going to say, so, I turned around and ran up the stairs passing the shocked faces of Derek, Dad, and Grandma, and the grim of Grandpa. I went into my room, closed the door behind me, and collapsed on my bed as the tears fell.

* * *

After a very silent and tension filled dinner, Grandpa tried to get me to stay downstairs to watch television with everyone, but I wasn't in the mood. So, I went to my room and settled myself on my bed to read the legends book Grandpa gave me before I went to sleep. I was just starting the legend of Taha Aki when I heard something hit my window.

I looked at the window near my vanity and sure enough I saw a pebble hit the glass as the soft tap echoed in the room. Frowning, I slid my bookmark in between the pages and closed the book before I slowly made my way over to the window. I looked outside and then down to the ground just below the window only to gasp. I quickly unlocked and opened the window before I leaned on the windowsill and stuck my head out into the cold night air.

"Paul, what are you doing?" I asked in a loud whisper. He was dressed in only a pair of jean cut offs and tennis shoes. I couldn't believe he wasn't freezing since it was so cold outside.

"Step back," he whispered back and still frowning, I did as he said. The next thing I knew Paul was climbing in the window and closing it behind him. "Hi," he said softly with his smile still firmly in place. I couldn't help but stare the second I saw him in the bright light of my bedroom.

I knew his body had to be amazing by the way his clothes fit him, but I truly wasn't expecting what I saw as he stood there in his jean cut offs that hung from his hips in a way that made my stomach knot and my face heat in a bright blush. He had an _eight_ pack and it took a great amount of will for me to tear my eyes from his body and return them to his face. The smug smile that was on his lips should have dampened the knots that filled my stomach, but it only tightened them and I looked away from him in embarrassment.

"What are you doing here?" I asked gently with my eyes focused on the dark gray rug that covered the wood floor in my room. His feet were soon settled on the rug in front of me and I could feel the heat radiating off of him. He raised his right hand and tilted my chin up so I was looking at him. His smile was no longer smug. It was the soft and warm smile that only seemed to be reserved for me.

"I told you that I'd see you again," Paul said and I smiled up at him before I laughed lightly and threw my arms around his waist. Paul sighed contentedly as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and rested his hands on my back.

"She's a hypocrite," I said, my voice muffled by his chest. "Did you know she met Dad when she was seventeen and on a college campus tour?" I raised my head and looked up at him.

"I didn't," he said.

"Dad was a senior in college and spotted Mom during the campus tour she was on with her friend and her friends' parents. They went out and a year later there was a wedding and two years later there was me," I said as we slowly let go of each other and settled ourselves on the edge of my bed. Paul took my hand and started playing with my fingers as our eyes locked.

"She's worried about you, Amanda," he said gently. "She's worried you're getting into something that you're not ready for." His words were similar to Mom's, but they weren't harsh and accusatory like hers had been.

"What am I getting into?" I asked.

"After today, I'm hoping a relationship with me," he said and I smiled as I nodded my head, which made him smile.

"Even after my mother went all crazy on you, you still want to be with me?" I asked and he chuckled as he raised his right hand to my face.

"I can handle your mom," he said as he ran his thumb along my cheek, "and an army couldn't keep me away from you. I just don't ever want to see that look on your face ever again."

"What look?" I asked and he sighed as he let go of my hand. He rested his weight on the bed behind me and leaned into me, resting his forehead against mine once more.

"The look you had on your face when I was leaving," he said. "It killed me to drive away, but I'm here and I'm always going to be here for you. No matter what, Amanda, always know that."

"I know," I said softly. I knew that no matter what was going on around me; Paul would be the one constant I could always count on. There was no doubt in my mind or in my heart about that. He kissed me chastely and I sighed when he pulled his lips away, but kept his forehead against mine. He wrapped his left arm around me and I wrapped my arms around him as he pulled my body close to his so I was tucked into his side. I could only hope that tomorrow would be a different day.


	11. Chapter 11

Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for your reviews and adds. I meant to post this chapter this morning, but I wasn't happy with the first half of the chapter, so, I waited until I re-wrote it. I'm still not happy with the first half, but I'll let you guys be the judge. Again, thank you all very much for reading and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 11

I woke up the following morning in a cocoon of blankets and mildly confused until I realized that Paul was no longer lying beside me. I had fallen asleep a little after two in the morning with Paul at my side after spending most of the night talking. I didn't want him to leave, so, he promised to lay with me until I fell asleep and that was exactly what he did. I had been covered in only a sheet because Paul was so warm and I hadn't been cold like I usually was. I figured that when he left he must have wrapped me in my comforter and a second blanket to keep me warm.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I climbed from my bed and stretched as I looked at my alarm clock. It was barely eight in the morning and despite the fact that I had only slept six hours, I felt more rested than I had in a long time. Sighing, I pulled on my sweatshirt and went downstairs for breakfast that I could smell Grandma cooking. When I went downstairs I was surprised to find Mom sitting at the table looking as though she hadn't slept a wink and with a large mug of coffee on the table in front of her. As she heard me walk in, she looked up at me and I bit my lip before I nodded my head and went to the fridge to get some orange juice.

"Good morning, Grandma," I said and she smiled at me as she looked up from the pan of bacon she was frying.

"Morning, sweetheart," she said and I grabbed a glass before I poured myself a glass of juice. Once I put the carton away, I walked over to the table and sat down in my usual seat, kiddy corner from where Mom was sitting.

"Amanda," she said as I took a drink of my juice and I looked at her over the glass. "We need to talk."

"I'm not going to say I'm sorry, because I'm not," I said as I put my glass down on the table.

"I don't expect you to," Mom said and to say I was surprised by those words would be an understatement. "But you're still not going to see that man. He's ten years older than you, and has no business being around you."

"Dad is almost six years older than you," I said. "Don't you think it's a bit hypocritical to be lecturing me about dating an older guy when it's what you did?"

"Things were different between your father and me," Mom said.

"How? How was it any different than my relationship with Paul?" I asked.

"It just was!" Mom snapped as she glared at me. I sighed and shook my head before I sat back in my chair and just looked at the glass of juice in front of me.

"Paul's a really great guy, Mom. If you just talk to him, you'd know that," I said softly as I kept my eyes on my juice. I looked at her when I heard her sigh and her face softened as she looked at me, but I knew she wasn't going to give in.

"I suppose he is, but this is for your own good, Amanda. You don't live here. In a week we'll be back home in Seattle and he'll be here. Do you really think that he'll still be interested once you're not here? You'll only get hurt in the end," she reasoned but I shook my head.

"I'm hurting now," I said as I stood and left the kitchen. I went up into my room and closed the door behind me before I went over to my bed and wrapped myself in my covers. I could smell Paul on my pillow, his soft and woodsy cologne smelled like heaven to me and I buried my face in my pillow. I laid there for a while, just wrapped in the blankets and staring off into space.

However, no matter how hard I tried to push them away her words were echoing in my head. Would Paul still be interested in me once I was back home and four hours away from La Push? After all, didn't the old saying go 'out of sight out of mind?' I didn't want to think about it, but I knew I would have to talk to Paul about it. So, as I laid there I decided that when he came tonight that I would do just that. However, I hoped I didn't lose my nerve before he came. A knock sounded on my door breaking me from my thoughts and I sighed heavily as I turned my head and looked at the wooden door.

"Come in," I said hoping it wasn't Mom. Thankfully it wasn't Mom. It was Grandpa carrying a plate of food and a glass of juice.

"Grandma fixed you a plate and I wanted to make sure you ate," he said and I sat up and took the offered plate. He sat the glass of juice on my nightstand before he sat down on the bed and I started to dig into the plate of scrambled eggs toast and bacon. "Your mother means well, Amanda," Grandpa said and I looked at him as I chewed on the bite of bacon I had taken.

"I know she does, but she started seeing Dad when she was my age," I said after I swallowed. "Why is it such a big deal that I'm dating Paul?" I wasn't going to voice the new doubts Mom had put in my head to Grandpa. He didn't need to know _all_ the drama in my life.

"So, you are dating?" he asked with a grin and I blushed. "Amanda, I'm going to let you in on a little secret," he continued and gestured for me to keep eating, which I did. "She was in love with your father from the moment she met him, but that doesn't mean that it was easy for her."

"What do you mean?" I asked as I pushed the eggs in my mouth to the side before I continued chewing.

"A few months after they got married, Molly started doubting that she made the right decision in getting married at nineteen," Grandpa said. "Mitchell was working a lot to build a life for them and he wasn't home much. When Molly wasn't in class, she was working part-time to help with the household expenses or studying. She didn't have much of a social life and rebelled during the summer break. She started going out every night, didn't keep up the housework, and came close to losing her job. They had a huge fight one night and Molly came knocking on the door at two in the morning with a suitcase and a tearstained face. She didn't want to talk to me, so, I left her Helen's hands," he said with a small smile at Grandma's name.

"I didn't go far though. I wanted to make sure I didn't have to have a talking to with Mitchell. She told Helen that she was too young to be married," Grandpa said. "That she made a mistake by following her heart instead of her head. Your grandma convinced her that it was the stress of school and new responsibilities that were making her feel that way; and that they were a perfect match in every way.

"Mitchell ended up on the porch about two hours after Molly did, and they talked things out before staying with us for a few days and then making the trip back to Seattle." Grandpa reached out and put his hand on my knee, patting it as I now ate at much slower pace than I started out. "It took her a while to realize that your grandma was right and as soon as she got rid of all that doubt, their life was happy and you came along," he pulled his hand back and sighed quietly. "She doesn't want you to have that same doubt if you commit yourself to Paul so soon, especially since you haven't known him that long. She wants you to explore the world a little more because she didn't get to. It's not that she regrets her life, she just wants to make sure you know what's out there before you settle."

I was surprised by Grandpa's story. My parents had always been the perfect couple and they loved each other very much. I would have never believed that Mom had doubts about their relationship. However, I knew that the relationship Paul and I had was different. It was like we connected on a level that went deeper than a physical attraction and emotional understanding. As corny as it sounded, I felt like we connected on a spiritual level; like our souls were connected by some invisible force that bound us to each other. I decided then that I was reading too many legends and that I should lay off books for a while.

"But you know Paul, Grandpa," I said. "You know what type of man he is. Would he ever do anything to hurt me or take advantage of me?" Grandpa gave me a small smile and shook his head negatively.

"He wouldn't," Grandpa said. "To him that would be one of the worse things he could ever do."

"I trust him and I don't doubt what I feel for him," I admitted. "I can't explain what it is that I feel for Paul, but I know that I want to be with him. Will you talk to her, Grandpa? Please," I begged.

"I talked to her for a long time last night, Amanda," he said, "but I'll try to get her see that she's doing more harm than good."

"Thank you," I said and he kissed my head.

"When you finish your breakfast, bring your dishes down," he said and I nodded my head. He stood and headed towards the door only to stop and turn around to look at me. "Amanda," he said and I looked at him. "Be sure to tell Paul when he comes in tonight not to pull on the ivy, your grandma will have a fit if it doesn't come in during the summer." My face heated in a dark blush before Grandpa winked and left the room, leaving me both confused and slightly embarrassed.

* * *

"I never thought you'd get here," I whispered with a smile at nearly eleven thirty when I looked down at Paul and where he stood in the snow below my window. He was shirtless yet again, but I didn't care. It only took me an hour to stop drooling at the sight the night before, I figured I could manage another night of shirtless Paul.

"Step back so I can come up," he said and I started to do so, but stopped when I remembered what Grandpa said.

"Grandpa wanted me to tell you not to pull on the ivy," I said softly and Paul frowned as he looked up at me, which made me laugh softly. "I'll explain when you come up." He gave me a curt nod before I stepped away from the window and wrapped my arms around my waist to ward off the cold from the window. I was in my flannel red and black plaid pajama bottoms and an oversized black t-shirt. Not exactly an outfit that would impress Paul, but I had a feeling I could wear a potato sack and Paul would still find me attractive. I couldn't figure out what he saw in me, but I certainly wasn't going to question it anymore.

He eased his large frame in through the window and the second his feet hit the floor he turned to close the window. After he turned back to me, we just looked at each other for several moments before I unwrapped my arms from around my waist and closed the small distance between us. I hugged him tight as I pressed my head into his chest. Despite the cold outside, his skin was still almost blazing hot and I never wanted to let him go. He sighed contentedly as he wrapped his left arm around me and put his right hand on the back of my scarf covered head.

"I don't know how he knew, but Grandpa knew you came into my room last night," I said, my voice muffled by his chest, and he laughed lightly. "He wanted me to tell you not to pull on the ivy because Grandma would have his head if it didn't grow in during the summer."

"Good to know. I missed you today," he whispered before he pressed a kiss to the top of my head and he chuckled again. "I drove Jared crazy today because apparently all I talked about was you. He practically had a fit until I reminded him that he went through the same thing. When he first _really saw_ Kim all he did was talk about her."

"What do you mean when he 'really saw' Kim?" I asked with a frown as I looked up at him and he smiled as he moved his hand from the back of my head to the side of my face.

"The school on the reservation is small; the elementary, middle school, and high school are all on the same grounds just in different buildings," Paul explained. "Kim sat next to Jared practically every year from kindergarten until graduation and it wasn't until the start of our senior year that he noticed her. Funny thing was, she had had a crush on Jared for forever and when he asked her out she said 'yes' so quickly I don't think he even got the question out completely." I laughed and Paul smiled before he leaned in and kissed me chastely.

"I suppose it's only fair to tell you that I sort of talked about you today too," I said when we pulled apart. I slipped out of his arms before I took his hand into mine and brought him over to the bed. We sat down on the edge of the bed, much like we had the night before, with our fingers intertwined. "Mom's still determined for me to stay away from you because . . . ," I trailed off as I looked into his eyes.

"Because why, Amanda?" he asked and I sighed as I looked away and down at our hands.

"Because she thinks that when we leave on January second that you'll forget all about me," I said softly. "That I don't really mean anything to you." He let go of my hand rather quickly before both of his hands were on my face and gently forcing my eyes back to his.

"You mean _everything_ to me, Amanda," Paul said, his voice heavy with emotion. "I'm not going to lie to you; it's going to be very, _very_ hard for me when you go back to Seattle." His voice actually broke as he said that and I quickly raised my hands and wrapped my hands as best I could around his wrists as I frowned. "It's already painful just thinking about it, but I promise that I will come and see you as often as I can. Hell, I'll visit you every weekend if I can because I love you."

I gasped when those three words came out of Paul's mouth and his eyes widened slightly when he realized what he said. He lowered his hands from my face, but I quickly moved my hands from his wrists and took his hands into mine. He beautiful eyes scanned my face as he tried to gage my reaction, and I had no idea what was showing on my face but I was pretty sure shock was the prominent emotion being displayed.

"You . . . you love me?" I asked in a whisper and he let out a slow breath.

"Yes," he said quietly. "I've loved you since you walked into your grandparents' living room that first day we met with that awkward smile on your face. You're it for me, Amanda. You're my everything." Tears filled my eyes at his words and I blinked several times to try and hold them back before a small smile appeared on my face.

"I won't let them keep me away from you. I love you too, Paul," I said, finding the words far easier to say than I ever imagined they would be because they were completely true. Those stubborn tears fell from my eyes despite my best efforts to hold them back and Paul gently tugged his hands out of mine before he brought his large and rough hands to my face where he wiped them away with a silly smile on his face. I'd known him for five days and yet I felt like I knew him for forever. "I love you," I whispered again, relishing the feeling in my chest at saying those words out loud; so much so that I didn't want to stop saying them to him.

"I love you too," he said again before he leaned in and claimed my lips in a gentle, emotion filled kiss. I wrapped my arms around him and just held on, pouring everything I felt for him in that one kiss. I knew my future with Paul was probably not going to be easy, but I was determined to have a future with him nonetheless.


	12. Chapter 12

Hello everyone! Thank you all so so much for your reviews and adds. I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday and that you enjoy this chapter. Please let me know what you think and thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 12

The next morning I woke up in a happy haze after my night with Paul. Of course, we did nothing more than talk and exchanged a few more kisses after our shared confessions, but I felt like I was on cloud nine as I climbed into the shower and readied for the day. I didn't care that Mom was probably still mad at me, and I didn't care that I was bound to spend another day completely alone in my room. All I cared about was seeing Paul again that coming night.

After drying my hair I fastened the new pale pink scarf I had gotten for Christmas around my hair and dressed in a pair of black yoga pants and a long sleeved shirt that matched the scarf around my head. I opened my bedroom door to head downstairs only to see Emily standing on the other side with her hand raised and poised to knock. I gasped in surprise and jumped back a little bit as I put my hand over my heart to keep it in my chest.

"Jeez!" I exclaimed quietly as I looked up at her. She smiled sheepishly before she lowered her hand and clasped her hands together in front of her.

"Sorry," she said quickly through her smile. "Your mom didn't know if you were up, so, I came up to check."

"If I wasn't before, I'm wide awake now, thanks," I said dryly as I lowered my hand and Emily chuckled. "Don't take this the wrong way, but what are you doing here?"

"Well, since you haven't been able to visit," Emily said, "I thought we'd come visit you." It was then that I heard Sara's giggle from downstairs and I smiled at Emily. "Come on, they're downstairs with your parents and grandparents." I nodded and followed her downstairs before we joined the group in the large kitchen of my grandparents' house.

"Amanda!" Sara cried as she pried herself from her father's arms and raced over to me. I laughed as I squatted down and scooped the little girl up into my arms. "You look pretty!" Sara said before she kissed my cheek and wrapped her arms around my neck. I laughed again as I looked at Emily and she smiled at me.

"Thank you, Sara," I said and Sara let go of my neck, putting her small hands on shoulders as she pulled back and smiled brightly at me, her tiny white teeth a beautiful contrast to her copper skin. "You look very pretty today to."

"Really? Mommy and Daddy got me this sweater for Christmas," Sara said as she looked down at the light blue sweater she was wearing that matched the bow in her black hair.

"Blue's my favorite color," I whispered to her and she smiled when her brown eyes met my hazel. I walked closer to the table and sat down, settling Sara on my lap and smiling at Sam who was sitting on the chair next to me. "Hi Sam," I said and he smiled as he nodded his head. "Where's Ethan?" I asked as Emily took a seat at the table and Mom sighed as she sat a cup of juice in front of me and then a smaller one for Sara who thanked her before she grabbed it and took a big drink, carefully so she wouldn't spill.

"With Derek, your father, and Grandpa in the living room," Mom said. I looked at Sam with a crooked smile because he was the only male in the kitchen. He seemed to know what I was thinking because he smiled before he rested his arms on the table seemingly comfortable in the estrogen ocean he was in. My mother, however, didn't look as comfortable as I was with Sam and his family.

We all had breakfast together, with Mom stiffly stabbing her eggs as she ate. I was happy to have company other than my family. It had been more than awkward the day before, but with Sam, Emily, and the kids I was more than comfortable with them around me. After breakfast we all were talking, Sara still settled in my lap and coloring in the book Emily had pulled out of her bag, before Emily drew Mom's attention to her.

"Mrs. Kent, I was hoping that you would allow Amanda to watch Sara and Ethan for Sam and me tomorrow," Emily said and Mom looked at her with a frown. "My niece would normally do it, but she's having a sleepover tomorrow and according to her she has 'lots' to do."

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Emily," Mom said.

"She's afraid Paul will be there," I said answering Emily's question before she could ask it as I handed Sara the green crayon she was trying to reach.

"Uncle Paul left this morning," Sara said as she looked at me and it was my turn to frown. I looked at Sam and he nodded.

"We got a job outside of Port Angeles," Sam said. "Paul's taken the lead and he, Embry and Quil left this morning. They'll be there for at least a week and since it's a two hour drive, they're staying there."

For a moment, I dared to hope that Sam and Emily were setting something up so that I could see Paul tomorrow when I got to their place, but the serious expression on Sam's face and the apology in his eyes was not hard for me to see. I knew then that Paul really was gone and it was no ruse for me to get to spend the day with him. My good mood and anxiousness to see Paul that night was gone and depression settled in when I realized that the night before was probably going to be the last time I would see Paul for a long time.

"Well, I don't see why she can't watch them for you," Mom said, a bright smile suddenly lightening her face as I looked at her. "Sara seems fond of her as does Ethan. It should be an easy night for her." Emily smiled at Mom before she looked at me and I gave her a half hearted smile before I started helping Sara color her picture. "How long do you need her to watch them?"

I stopped listening to the conversation because I was battling the tears that lined my eyes. I couldn't understand why Paul didn't tell me he was leaving. I didn't understand why he would say all he did the night before only to leave the next morning. When Sara was done with the picture she was working on, I excused myself, settling her on the chair, before I went upstairs and into my room. I closed my door behind me and I went into my small bathroom as wiped at my eyes with my hands before I splashed cold water on my face. I sighed softly as I dried my face and went back into my room.

For some strange reason, it felt like the walls were closing in on me and I needed to get out of the house. I grabbed my coat and scarf from the closet and pulled them on as I went downstairs. I stuck my head in the kitchen to see Mom smiling happily as she talked to Emily and everyone else that was gathered at the table. Derek and Sam weren't at the table, but Derek was probably back up in his room and I really didn't know where Sam would have gone.

"I'm going to go for a walk," I said and everyone looked at me.

"It's freezing outside, Amanda, you'll get sick," Mom said and I shook my head.

"I won't go far and I won't stay out long," I promised. "I just need some air."

"All right, but be back in fifteen minutes," she said and I nodded before I walked back into the hall, pulled my snow boots on my feet, and left the house as I tugged my thick gloves onto my hands. I walked around the house and into the trees wanting to go to the one place I knew no one else knew about.

There was a small group of towering trees not far within the woods surrounding my grandparents' home that had been my refuge every summer when I was missing home. Since the trees rested in a small valley like part of the woods their large roots came up from the ground and curved in beautiful arches and swirls that created shelter from the rainy weather. During the summer the ground below was covered with a soft moss, but I knew now it would be nothing but snow and cold there since it was the end of December.

My cheeks and nose were cold by the time I reached my spot and it was slightly warmer amongst the roots of the trees, but that was just because they blocked the wind from hitting me fully. I sighed as I brushed off one of the large roots as best I could before I sat down upon it, my backside getting wet as my body heat melted the snow I missed brushing off. It was there that I finally let my tears fall and a sob escaped my lips. I could cry as loud as I wanted to there and no one would hear me. I wasn't far from the house, but I was far enough away that they would only hear me if I screamed really loud and I had no intention of doing so.

If Paul loved me as he said he did, then why didn't he tell me he was leaving? I knew that it would be painful to say good bye to him when I had to leave, but I would have at least said good bye. He just left, without a word and without a warning. I may have been overreacting, but it felt like my world just came crashing down on me and I wasn't strong enough to pull myself out of the rubble.

My chest was aching from my sobs and as they slowly quieted a sound akin to a dog sneezing met my ears. I sniffed and wiped at my face as I looked up only to let out a short scream and fall from the root I was sitting on at what I saw. The snow was freezing and I started to shake but it wasn't from the cold. It was the fear coursing through me. Fear of the massive wolf that stood not ten feet from where I sat in the snow.

The wolf bowed his head and whined as it looked at me before he settled himself on his stomach and rested its large head on its paws. The wolf was as big as a horse, maybe bigger, and its fur was a beautiful dark gray that seemed to shimmer like silver as it faded to white at its paws and around its eyes, mouth, stomach, and tail. It whined again as it looked at me and when I looked into its eyes, my fear melted away like the snow around me. Its dark brown eyes were so focused on me intently and there was almost a human quality to them as it looked at me.

Slowly, I stood and the wolf remained in its submissive position but its eyes followed me closely. It looked . . . worried as it watched me, and I found myself wanting to touch it. I took a deep and shuddering breath as I took a step forward, and then another when the wolf didn't move an inch. It took me eight steps before I came to a stop just in front of the wolf and it raised its head. I gasped quietly but I didn't step back. It was laying on its stomach still but its head was even with mine once it was raised.

I raised my hands to my chest and pulled my glove from my right hand. I wanted to feel its fur and I wouldn't be able to do that with my gloves on. With a shaking hand, I slowly reached out and gently touched the wolf's face, just below its left eye. Its fur was so warm and soft against my palm and fingers and it closed its eyes as it huffed. I took half a step closer and moved my hand along its head, burying my fingers in the fur at its neck. It opened its eyes, and I should have been afraid. I should have been running back to the house screaming, but I wanted to stay there with it. Its eyes were so familiar and the longer I looked into its eyes the safer I felt. I knew that nothing would hurt me so long as I was with it.

"You're beautiful," I whispered with a small smile on my face and I could have sworn it tried to smile before it reached out and licked my left cheek. I giggled and let go of its fur to bring my right hand to my face and wipe its spit from my face. It stood then, towering over me before it leaned closer and nipped my scarf that hung around my neck and tugged gently. I just stood there and pulled my glove back on before it tugged again, but a little harder than before. Its eyes pleaded with me and I smiled at him again.

"Don't worry," I said softly. "I'm going home." It let go of my scarf then and licked my face again before it took several steps back. It looked at me for a long time before he turned to the right and took off into the trees only leaving its large paw prints in the snow as any proof that he was there. Surprisingly, I felt better as I started my way back to the house with my hands in my coat pockets. However, as I walked I couldn't help but glance behind me in hopes of catching a glimpse of the wolf again, but I wasn't that lucky.

* * *

When I had gotten back to the house, Sam, Emily and the kids were gone and Mom, Grandma, and Dad were getting ready to visit a friend of Grandma's, Sue Clearwater. Mom didn't drive and since Dad was the only other person with a license besides Grandpa and me he had to go along on the trip because I said I wanted to stay home. Once they were gone, I was sitting in the living room with Grandpa watching the football game that was on TV. I liked football and all, but I wasn't a big fan. I enjoyed baseball more than I did football.

"Grandpa," I said as the game went to commercial and he looked at me. "Are there wolves in the woods?"

"I suppose so," he said. "Why do you ask?"

"When I went for my walk today this wolf came up to me," I said and Grandpa lowered his recliner and sat up, looking at me with wide eyes. "Obviously, it didn't hurt me," I said quickly, "but the wolf . . . the wolf was huge."

"Huge?" he asked, his worry melting from his face as I nodded.

"Yeah," I said. "It was as big as a horse, dark gray, and . . . beautiful. I had never seen anything like it before."

"There are rather big wolves in the woods around La Push," Grandpa said carefully, his eyes watching my face. "They don't bother the people around here, just be careful if you go out in the woods again."

"I will, Grandpa," I said and he smiled at me before he returned his attention to the TV as the game came back on. I looked back at the TV as well, but I wasn't really paying attention to the game. My thoughts were everywhere but where they should be. They fluctuated between Paul and the wolf, but they always ended up on Paul.

* * *

That night, everyone was in bed but I was up and sitting at my vanity. I stared at the window hoping and waiting for Paul's sign telling me he was outside. I sat there waiting for a small pebble to hit the glass, however, as midnight came and went there was nothing. Then one o'clock rolled into two, but there was still nothing. As the clock neared three, I finally gave up hope and accepted that Paul had indeed left that morning. Sighing, I walked over to the window and looked out into the darkness of the night.

The moon was bright outside and lit up the yard. I needed to get to bed because I had to be at Sam and Emily's by eleven the following morning to watch Ethan and Sara for them, and as I turned to do just that something caught my eye. I looked back outside and gasped quietly when I saw something break the tree line. It didn't come out far, but it came out enough for the moon to shine down and bask its dark gray and white head in light.

It was the wolf from that morning, standing stoically at the trees edge. Its mouth was open and its tongue was hanging out of its mouth as it panted in the night. Its breath was coming out in a light mist, and it was then that I realized it was looking up at the window and at me. I smiled and pressed my hand against the glass and my heavy heart was lighter at seeing the wolf. It was strange to find myself connected to such a strange animal, but my depression at Paul being gone was forgotten and turning off the light I crawled into bed with my thoughts on the wolf outside.


	13. Chapter 13

Thank you all so much for your reviews and adds. My e-mail is being stupid again. I'm thinking of going to a different site and setting up a new account because I'm not getting the review alerts that allow me to respond to reviews. Now, this chapter isn't my favorite but I hope you guys like it. Please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 13

The next day I was at Emily and Sam's happily distracted by Ethan and Sara. With them around it wasn't hard for me to stay occupied and I was in the kitchen with Sara, fixing lunch when I heard a deep voice in the living room that was very familiar.

"Hey, little man," the voice said and I put down the butter knife I was using to spread the peanut butter on the bread. Sara looked up at me curiously, but I walked over to the door that led into the living room with a pounding heart only to see Jared standing behind the sofa talking to Ethan who was sitting there watching cartoons. He looked up at me and smiled before he ruffled Ethan's hair and walked over to me. I smiled at him before I returned to making the sandwiches for the kids.

"Hi, Jared," I said as I continued spreading the peanut butter. "Emily and Sam are out today."

"I know," Jared said as he picked up Sara and the little girl squealed a laugh as he tickled her sides slightly before resting her on his hip and coming to stop next to me. "I came to see you."

"Me?" I asked as I put the knife in the sink and picked up another one to apply the grape jelly to the other pieces of bread. "Why'd you come to see me?"

"To see how you were doing," Jared said and I looked at him. He took one look at my face and sighed quietly before he looked at Sara. "Sara, would you go sit with your brother while I help Amanda make your lunch. We've got to have a grown up talk."

"Okay, Uncle Jared," she said and Jared put Sara on the floor before the little girl took off with a giggle and joined Ethan in the living room.

"We have to have a grown up talk?" I asked with a raised eyebrow and Jared chuckled as he grabbed a chip from the bag I had open on the counter and stuffed it in his mouth before he shrugged. "Is something wrong, Jared?"

"No, nothing's wrong," he said slowly before he took another chip. "Paul wanted me to bring you this," he said as he put the chip in his mouth and then pulled a small phone from his pocket. "He knows yours doesn't exactly work out here and he'll be calling this phone to talk to you." I put down the knife and took the phone into my hands only to have it start to ring the second I took it. I looked up at Jared and he smiled. "Emily's got a comfortable chair in the mud room," he said gesturing behind him. "I'll finish this up and sit with the kids. Take all the time you need." I put my hand on his arm and stood up on my tip toes. He smiled and leaned down to allow me to place a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you," I whispered before I quickly went into the mud room and slid the door close behind me. I answered the phone and sank down into the chair. "Hello?" I asked and a deep sigh was the first response I got.

"You sound exactly the same on the phone as you do in person," came Paul's deep voice and I smiled.

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" I asked. "It would have saved me the shock when I heard it from Sam yesterday."

"I'm sorry, Amanda," he said deeply. "This . . . job came up on us quickly and I didn't know Sam was going to make me lead until yesterday morning. I couldn't call your grandparents' house to tell you."

"And with my cell phone serving as nothing more than a paperweight right now, you had no way of telling me," I reasoned and he sighed again.

"Exactly," he said. "How are you doing?"

"Better now," I admitted. "Paul, I don't know what I'm going to do when I go back home. If I feel like this after only a day of not seeing you, what's it going to be like when I won't see you for weeks at a time?"

"I told you, Amanda, you'll see me every other weekend or every weekend once you're home," he said and I shook my head.

"You can't do that, Paul," I said. "You've got work and responsibilities here. You can't just give them all up. I won't let you."

"I'm afraid you don't really have a choice in the matter," he said with a chuckle. "Being apart like this hurts me just as much as it hurts you. I don't want to go a long time without seeing you if I can help it." I sighed softly as I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the back of the chair.

"Paul, you had a life before I literally walked into it," I said opening my eyes and looking at the large washer and dryer across from me. "You'd be giving up a lot to do that."

"I'll be gaining a hell of a lot more," Paul said. "I like my friends and all, Amanda, but I work with them every day. They'll be able to go two days a week without me."

"I love you, Paul," I said easily and he took a deep breath.

"I love you too, Amanda, and I will never get tired of hearing you say that," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice. I laughed lightly and he laughed with me. I heard rustling on Paul's end before he sighed. "I've got to, but keep this phone on you. I'll call you on this line tonight."

"Okay," I said. "Bye, Paul."

"Bye, Amanda," he said and we ended the call. I took a deep breath before I stood and tucked the phone into the back pocket of my jeans. I walked out of the mud room, through the kitchen, and into the living room to find Ethan and Sara sitting on the floor around the coffee table eating their lunches and their eyes focused on the TV. Jared was sitting in the arm chair and as if he heard me coming he looked my way and smiled before he stood. He walked over to me and tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans as he looked down at me.

"So, everything okay?" he asked and I laughed lightly as I nodded.

"Yeah, everything is fine," I said. "Thank you, Jared, I sort of needed that."

"I know that everything with Paul is sort of all screwed up right now, Amanda, but it'll work out," Jared said and I smiled at him. "You'll be here on New Year's Eve, won't you? Sam and Emily are having a get together, and you'll be able to meet Jacob and his girlfriend Nessie." I shrugged.

"That will all depend on if my mother will let me," I said.

"I'll have Kim ask her if you want," Jared said. "She can go to your grandparents' house and sweet talk your mom. Who can resist a woman that's about ready to pop?" he asked and I laughed at his expression. However, his eyes softened as he talked about his wife I realized something.

"You really and truly love Kim don't you?" I asked him and he furrowed his eyebrows but smiled at the same.

"Well, she's my wife," Jared said. "I wouldn't have married her if I didn't love her." I just smiled and nodded my head in agreement.

I didn't say anything more on the matter, but it was just something I noticed about the couples in Paul's circle of friends. Emily and Sam shared the same adoration that Kim and Jared shared. Even Leah was attentive and warm to her future husband in a way that most women would find un-dignifying this day and age, but I found it sweet. I'd never seen couples like them and I found myself wanting to be around them all the more.

"True," I said and he grinned.

"Come on; let's fix ourselves something to eat while the kids eat. I'm starving," Jared said and I laughed as he guided me back into the kitchen where he promptly set to making four sandwiches for himself and one for me while I pulled my medicine box from my jeans pocket and poured my noon medicine in my hand. "What are you taking?" Jared asked as I brought my hand to my mouth and I stopped before I turned to look at him. A frown was on his face as he looked at my hand and then at me. I'd forgotten that he didn't know and I felt heat flood my face.

"Um, medicine," I said as I looked at him.

"For what?" he asked as he put the butter knife down and I sighed quietly before I quickly took my medicine and downed it with a big glass of water.

"I've got an autoimmune disease," I said as I turned and looked at him. His eyes widened, so, I quickly explained. "You can't catch it, so, don't worry. It's more or less genetic, but they don't exactly know what causes it."

"Does Paul know?" he asked slowly and I nodded.

"Yeah, he knows," I said and Jared took a deep breath as he looked down at the pieces of bread in front of him. "I'm not dying, Jared," I said and he looked at me again as I walked over to him and looked up. "I'm not, so, please don't do what my mother does. Don't treat me like I am."

"I won't, Amanda," he promised.

"The doctor's have it under control with my medication and I haven't had a flare up in six weeks," I said. "I'm going to hold you to your promise, Jared. I can't handle anyone else babying me. Between Mom and Paul sometimes I think I'm going crazy." He scoffed to hold back his laugh before he smiled at me.

"That explains a few things," he said and I smiled.

"So, you going to finish up those sandwiches or do I have to take over?" I teased to lighten the mood and Jared chuckled before he started working on the sandwiches again.

"I got it," he said. "You go sit with Ethan and Sara. I'll bring yours in." I nodded and went into the living room to join the kids while Jared finished fixing our lunch. Now that someone other than Paul knew I felt a little better. I wouldn't make Jared promise not to tell anyone else. I would just tell Paul that Jared knew. If they were going to accept me, they had to accept me as I was and I really didn't think that they would treat me differently. At least I hoped they wouldn't.

* * *

For three days I talked to Paul on the phone he had given Jared to give to me, and he sounded more tired each night I talked to him. Finally, New Year's Eve had arrived and Jared had been right about no one being able to resist a pregnant woman. Kim had come over the day after my babysitting job for Emily and sweet talked Mom in to letting me go to Sam and Emily's for the night. Mom tried to get Derek to come with, but Derek said he'd rather just stay home instead of hanging out with a bunch of people he didn't know.

Jared and Kim were going to be picking me up on their way to Sam and Emily's place at seven, so, there I stood in my room trying to decide what to wear. I really didn't have anyone to impress since Paul was still out of town, but I still wanted to look nice. So as the clock neared seven I decided on a pair of dark wash jeans and a fitted dark blue three quarter sleeved top with a white camisole underneath. As I tied my black scarf around my head after braiding my hair, I realized that I would probably need a sweater in case I got cold, so, I grabbed my black cardigan from the closet. I'd no more pulled my boots on when Dad's voice echoed downstairs.

"Amanda! Jared and Kim are here!" he called and I smiled as I threw on my cardigan and grabbed my coat and scarf before racing down the stairs. My smile grew at seeing my new friends and the couple smiled back when they saw me. I walked over to where they stood with Dad and I gave him a half hug, which much to my surprise he returned. "Have fun," he said as I pulled back and threw on my coat.

"Don't worry, Mr. Kent," Jared said. "I'll make sure she gets back home safe and sound." Dad smiled and nodded his head.

"Thanks, Jared," Dad said and Kim laughed lightly before she laced her arm with mine and the three of us made our way to their car. As we got in the car and drove to Sam and Emily's, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen that night.


	14. Chapter 14

Hello everyone! It is now 12:41am where I live so I wish you all a safe and happy New Year! My gift to you for the start of the year is a super long chapter. Thank you so much for your reviews and adds, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thank you for reading and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 14

When Jared, Kim, and I arrived at Sam and Emily's everyone that was there on Christmas Eve was already there with the exception of Embry, Quil, and Paul, who were all still on their job outside Port Angeles. Claire and her parents also weren't there, but I figured they probably had other plans. Everyone was waiting for the three of us so we could all eat, however, before I went into the dining room Jared introduced me to the two people that hadn't been there on Christmas Eve. "Jacob, Nessie, this is Amanda," Jared said with a smile on his face as he put his hand on my back and gestured to the tall Quileute young man and a girl I figured was no older than me.

"Hi," I managed as I looked at them and forced a smile. I was a little intimidated by the couple, more so by Nessie than Jacob. Jacob was like Paul and the others; tall, muscular, and broad. I just started assuming that those traits seemed to run in Paul and Jared's group of male friends. Nessie had to be the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my entire life. I mean, you could stand her next to Miss Universe and someone would probably snatch the crown off the other woman's head and put it on Nessie's. Her copper colored hair was long, thick, and fell in gentle waves around her shoulders; her brown eyes were lined by thick lashes, a soft smile was on her pink lips, and although her skin was as pale as the snow outside it suited her perfectly.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Amanda," Jacob said, his tone welcoming and warm just like his friends. "Everyone's told us a lot about you."

"All good things I hope," I said and Nessie laughed. I was seriously thinking about not liking the girl. The sound of her laugh, which sounded like gentle bell ringing, made me hate my silent laugh.

"Of course they were all good things," Nessie said with a soft smile. Her voice was even the perfect tone. "Everyone's quite taken with you, especially Paul and I can see why." I flushed deeply and Nessie smiled. Either she was trying to be nice because she felt bad for my physical inferiority to her or she really was that nice. I had a feeling it was the latter. Jared chuckled from beside me before he put his arms around my shoulders.

"Let's go and get something to eat before everyone else eats everything," Jared said and the four of us made our way into the dining room. Jared lowered his arm from me as Emily quickly embraced me and hugged me rather tightly. I knew then that Jared told them about my illness. As we pulled apart she smiled at me and took my hands.

"He told you, huh?" I asked softly and Emily gave me a small nod.

"Don't worry, they won't treat you any different," she promised.

"Thank you," I said softly as I squeezed her hands.

"Amanda!" cried Ethan and Sara at the same time and I pulled away from Emily just in time to have both of them latched themselves to me.

"Hi guys," I said with a laugh as I put my hand on Ethan's head.

"If you take them and get them settled at the table, I'll have Sam bring your plate when we bring them theirs," Emily said and I nodded with a smile before I took Ethan and Sara's hand and got them settled at the large table. Once I was settled in the seat between Ethan and Sara I noticed that Nessie sat across from me with barely anything on her plate.

"_That probably explains the perfect figure,"_ I thought to myself, but smiled at her when she saw me looking at her. "You're not hungry, Nessie?" I asked and she smiled as she shook her head.

"Not really, I ate a little before Jake and I came," she said. "I don't really have that big of an appetite." Just then Sam put a heaping plate down in front of me and my eyes widened.

"Apparently I do," I said as I looked up at him and Sam laughed before he put a hot hand on my shoulder. "You expect me to eat all this?"

"You gotta eat, Amanda," he said as he squeezed my shoulder and walked back to the buffet table. Emily shot me a smile as she put plates in front of her children before moving back to the buffet table to get her own plate.

"There is no way I can possibly eat all of this," I said and Nessie laughed lightly. The chatter of the group around us stopped when the piercing howl of a wolf echoed into the house from outside, and then many things happened all at once. Sam, Jared, Seth, Leah, and Jacob were out of the dining room in a flash, leaving me with a confused expression and everyone else with a worried one. "Where'd they go?" I asked no one in particular, but looked at Emily. She just shook her head and forced a smile though it didn't reach her eyes.

"They'll be back, don't worry," she said before she settled herself at the table. "They probably just went to check and see if the wolves were close to the house."

"All of them went to do that?" I asked confused even more as to why all the guys, save for Michael, and Leah ran out of the house like it was on fire. Another howl sounded, and everyone just continued to eat and no one answered my question. I looked at Nessie and the girl suddenly looked uncomfortable as she shifted in her seat. "I'll be right back," I said as I stood and Sara looked up at me as she munched on her food.

"Where are you going?" Emily asked, with what I understood to be a hint of panic in her voice.

"Bathroom," I said with a frown and Emily visibly relaxed. "That's okay right?"

"Yes, of course, I'm sorry," Emily said. "I'm a bit jumpy all of a sudden." I gave her a small smile to show her that there was no hard feelings before I walked through the living room and into the hall to go upstairs. However, I didn't go upstairs; I pulled on my boots and grabbed my coat before I went outside. I had to find out what was going on. I no more stepped off the porch and into the snow when a hand was suddenly on my arm. I gasped and turned around to see Nessie, wearing a rather stylish gray coat, standing behind me.

"You need to come back inside, Amanda," she said, her brown eyes glancing towards the trees behind me. I sighed and shook my head.

"I'll go back inside when someone tells me what's going on," I said. "Where did they go? I can tell by the way everyone was acting that they know what's going on, and I know you probably know too."

"It's not my place to tell," she said. "You'll find out when the time is right, but now isn't the time, Amanda."

"But-," I started only to hear a snorting sound behind me. Nessie sighed as she lowered her hand from my arm and I turned around. Standing behind me was the massive dark gray wolf that I saw in the forest and outside my window the other night. He was panting and his dark eyes were anxious before he let out a short bark. I'd taken to calling it a 'he' because I had a feeling it wasn't a girl.

"I know, you mutt, I'm trying," Nessie said suddenly from behind me, but I was too focused on the wolf. I started walking towards him, my feet seemingly moving on their own accord. I continued walking until I was standing in front of the wolf just as close as I had been when we were in the forest. He was standing this time and I could feel the heat radiating off his body. He lowered his head, his eyes focused on me, before he whined and gently butted my chest with his head.

"What's wrong? Why don't you want me outside?" I asked as I reached out and touched his face. His only response was to whine yet again before he gently butted his head against me. Another howl sounded this one far closer than the first two. His whine became more urgent as he kept shoving me gently, forcing me backwards.

"Amanda, come on," Nessie said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me away, with far more strength than should have been possible for a girl her size. Before she dragged me into the house I saw the wolf bound back into the trees. "It's too dangerous for you to be outside right now," she said once we were inside.

"That wolf wouldn't have hurt me, Nessie," I said. "I've seen him before."

"It's not the wolf you need to be afraid of," Nessie said, her brown eyes pleading for me to just except her answer and move on. "I can't tell you any more than that, Amanda, because like I said; it's not my place to tell."

"All right," I said as I took off my coat and pulled off my boots, "but I want to know what's going on and why everyone is acting so strange." She simply nodded before she turned and went into the living room while I went up the stairs. After my little adventure I really did have to use the bathroom.

* * *

It had been uncomfortably quiet since the guys and Leah left and as eleven o'clock neared Ethan and Sara weren't up to staying awake for the New Year to come in. So in order to keep myself busy, I helped Emily ready both of them for bed. Emily readied Ethan while I took care of Sara and as I pulled the covers of her twin bed over her she looked up at me with sleep filled eyes.

"Amanda, will sing me a song?" Sara asked and I smiled as I sat down on the edge of her bed.

"You want me to sing?" I asked and she nodded. "I don't think I'm a very good singer."

"Neither is Daddy, but he sings to me anyway," she reasoned and I laughed lightly as I pushed her dark hair from her face.

"Okay," I said gently. "I'm going to sing you a song that my mommy used to sing to me, is that okay?" She nodded while I took a deep breath and licked my lips before I started to sing softly. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray," I sang to the gentle rhythm of the lullaby, hoping that my voice wasn't going to scar the poor girl. But the content smile on her face as her eyes drifted close was enough for me to keep going.

"You'll never know dear how much I love you; please don't take my sunshine away. The other night dear, as I was sleeping I dreamt I held you in my arms, but when I awoke dear, I was mistaken and I hung my head and I cried. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away." Sara was asleep by the time I finished the song, so after making sure she was covered I stood and turned out the light. I went downstairs only to stop halfway down when I saw a shirtless Paul standing in the hall talking to a shirtless Sam.

Both of them must have heard me come downstairs because both men stopped talking and looked up at me. Paul turned away from Sam and walked towards the foot of the stairs. He held out his hand to me and I quickly rushed down the stairs. I took his hand and he pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms around me.

"You have to be one of the most stubborn people in the world," he said into my hair as he kissed the top of my head and tightened his hold. I frowned against his chest, but didn't say anything. I just reveled in his warmth and the softness of his skin against my hands and my face.

"It's time, Paul," Sam said behind him and Paul's grip loosened as he turned slightly to look at Sam. "She needs to know."

"Now?" Paul asked with a frown. "Why now?" Sam didn't answer. He just looked at him before he turned and went into the living room. Paul sighed softly before he fully faced me again and looked down at me, raising his right hand to my face. "There's something I need to tell you, Amanda, and I need you to believe me."

"Okay," I said slowly as I looked up at him. He took my right hand with his left as he pulled me down the hall, to a room I had never noticed. It looked like it was a spare room because the decoration was minimal and looked as though it was barely used.

"You should sit down," he said as he put his hands on my shoulders and sat me down on the edge of the bed before he kneeled down in front of me, taking my hands into his.

"Paul, you're sort of scaring me," I said. "Does this have to do with why Sam and everyone took off before they sat down to dinner? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, but it does have to do with why Sam and everyone left and . . . and why I haven't been able to see you the last few days," he said and I frowned.

"You were on a job, weren't you?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, but not the job you think," he said.

"I don't understand," I said softly and he looked like he was ill. "Paul, are you okay? You look like you're going to be sick."

"I'm fine, I'm just nervous," he said before he took a deep breath. "Do you remember the tale of the time of Taha Aki?" he asked.

"You can't go to a bonfire in the summer and not know it. It's been a while since I went to one, but I can still hear Billy Black telling them," I said, "and I've read it a million times. Taha Aki was a tribe leader who shape shifted into an enormous wolf, the spirit animal that Quileutes descended from, to protect his people from the cold ones, vampires," I continued and Paul nodded.

"What would you say if I told you that it isn't a legend; that it was real and that I along with Sam, Jared, and several others were shape shifters like Taha Aki? That there really are vampires out there, and that we finally tracked down the two we have been chasing for the last few days and killed them."

I didn't know what to say. He was completely serious, more serious than I had ever seen him in the time I had known him. Either he was completely nuts and believed that he could shape shift into a wolf or he was telling the truth and that he actually could. I was finding it rather hard to believe, but some things were starting to make sense if you took the legends into account. Their height, crazy appetites, keen senses, and their ability to walk around in the middle of winter in nothing but jean cut offs all made sense. The legends were real. They had to be, and my heart started pounding heavily in my chest as I realized several other things as I sat there.

"Amanda, say something please," he said as he squeezed my hands again and brought me out of the slight daze I had gone into.

"I believe you," I whispered and he frowned. I don't think he was expecting me to say that.

"You do?" he asked and I laughed lightly at his face before I pried my hands from his and gently held his face in my hands.

"It was you in the woods and outside the house tonight wasn't it?" I asked. "You're my giant dark gray wolf."

"How . . .?" he trailed off as he smiled and looked at me.

"There was something so familiar about the eyes," I whispered as I ran my thumbs along the dark circles I just noticed under his beautiful brown eyes. "I was connected to it because the wolf is you, and you were trying to get me to inside because of the vampires."

"Yes," he said heavily as he wrapped his large hands around my wrists. Relief flooded his eyes as he held my gaze.

"And the reason Grandpa trusts you with me . . . the reason I feel the way I do when I'm with you is . . .," I trailed off, unsure if I wanted to voice it. However, as his eyes held mine I found the strength to do just that. "What Third Wife was to Taha Aki, I am to you," I whispered. "I'm your other half, your imprint."

"Yes," he breathed again. "You know this is a hell of a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I didn't think you were going to believe me."

"I didn't for a second, but the more I thought about it the more certain things made sense," I said. "Just think, if my mother would have had her way, we wouldn't have even made this trip and I may have never met you."

"I'm glad you did," Paul said softly. "I can't imagine my life without you in it from now on." I smiled then before I shifted closer to him by parting my legs and letting them rest on either side of him. His hands moved from my wrists to my waist and mine moved from his face to his neck. A clock chiming broke our gaze as we both looked to the small wooden clock that rested on the tall dresser next to the bed. The clock was chiming midnight, and I smiled again as I looked back at Paul and he at me.

"Happy New Year," I whispered and he grinned.

"Happy New Year," he whispered back before I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him as though my life depended on it. My year started off the worse way, but it ended on such an incredible high that I didn't think I was ever going to come down from.


	15. Chapter 15

Hello everyone. I personally think that I have the best readers on this site, so, I'm going to spoil you a bit by updating again. Thank you all so very much for your reviews/adds. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and as I always say; please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight _series.

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Chapter 15

I woke up feeling hot but comfortable, so, I snuggled deeper into my pillow only to have something pull me back against the source of the heat surrounding me. I slowly opened my eyes and blinked a few times thanks to the brightness of the room. It was then that I noticed I wasn't at my grandparents' house in my own bed. I was in the spare room at Sam and Emily's and there was a warm arm wrapped securely around my waist.

"It's early still, go back to sleep," Paul said softly from behind me and I smiled.

"I should be getting back home," I said. "It took Emily ten minutes to convince Mom that it was all right that I stayed here last night. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she slept on the couch to wait for me to walk through the door this morning." Paul sighed heavily before he pulled me even closer so my shirt covered back was pressed tightly to his bare chest.

"Fine, but give me just ten more minutes of this," he whispered into the back of my head before he placed a kiss on the back of my neck. I sighed contentedly before I closed my eyes and nodded. After we had talked about everything last night, we had joined everyone else in the living room and when we had come out with our fingers intertwined and smiles on our faces everyone visibly relaxed.

Jared was the first to us, clasping a hand on Paul's shoulder before he pulled me away from Paul and picked me up from the floor to give me a big bear hug. I had laughed and he had whispered something that sounded like 'thank goodness' in my ear before he settled me back on the floor and Paul had pulled me to his side. The celebration for not only the New Year, but for my acceptance of Paul and of them continued on for another hour before I was ready to just fall into bed. Emily called Mom to ask if it was alright if I stayed the night and she reluctantly agreed. Paul stayed with me, both of us lying on top of the covers, and as we laid there I was getting warmer by the second. I wasn't used to being that warm and as much as I was enjoying it, I knew it couldn't last forever.

"Okay, Paul, I'm starting to sweat," I said gently as I put my hand on his forearm that rested across my stomach.

"It hasn't been ten minutes yet," he whined and I laughed as I turned my head to look at him over my shoulder, however, all I saw was his shoulder.

"Paul," I said a slow smile spreading. "Be a good boy and get up. Don't make me get a rolled up newspaper." He growled playfully and gently pushed me back so I was suddenly laying on my back and his broad body covered mine while his hands rested on each side of my head.

"I'm a dog now, am I?" he asked with a grin and I raised my hands to his bare chest before I danced my fingers across the smooth skin of his chest only to come to rest on his rippled stomach. A grin of my own came to my face as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. If I wouldn't have been in such a teasing mood, the position I was in would have had me blushing; but there was no need for me to be uncomfortable. He would never pressure me for anything and I trusted him.

"Well, you are part of the canine family aren't you?" I teased and his eyes snapped open as his grin returned.

"You are so asking for it," he said with a deep chuckle before he pinned my legs between his knees and pushed his hands off the bed, and the next thing I knew he was tickling my sides. I squealed as I laughed and did my best to try and squirm out from underneath him.

"Paul!" I shouted through my laughter and he chuckled above me, his fingers not stilling their assault against my waist. "Okay! Okay! You're n-n-not a dog!" I said still laughing and his fingers finally stopped and his warm hands held onto my waist, his thumbs gently rubbing my stomach.

"What was that, Amanda?" he asked with a smile on his face as my laughter slowly quieted. I took several deep breaths to calm myself as I looked up at him and his expectant face.

"You're not a dog," I breathed, still slightly breathless, and he smiled before he leaned down and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he kept his hands on my waist as we kissed. He started to pull away, but I raised my head to follow his lips and he leaned back down, pressing me against the bed again before he slid his left arm under my back and lifted me up into sitting position never once breaking the kiss. He was sitting back on my legs, but not enough of his weight rested on me to hurt me. I lowered my left arm to wrap around his back and his right hand moved to my face. After several long seconds, we finally pulled apart. Our heavy breathing was the only sound in the room and my heartbeat echoed in my ears.

"Sorry," he said after he cleared his throat and I opened my eyes to look up at him. "I got a little carried away there."

"Did you hear me protesting?" I asked and he chuckled.

"No, but it's a little too soon for much more than that," he said and I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, no argument from me on that one, but that doesn't mean we can't do that again," I said, my cheeks flushing a little deeper, and he smiled as he ran his thumb along my cheek.

"True," he whispered before he started to lean into me again, but our moment together wasn't to last. A soft knock on the door broke us apart and Paul climbed from the bed to answer the door. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed as I straightened my shirt just as Sam took a half step into the room and looked at me.

"Amanda, your mom's called twice," he said and I sighed. "I told her we were on our way." I nodded and stood.

"I'll be right there," I said and Sam nodded before he turned to leave, however, he paused and looked at Paul who stood by the door, his hand still on the doorknob.

"What?" Paul asked when Sam didn't look away and Sam smiled.

"Nothing," Sam said before he patted Paul's shoulder and looked back at me. "You got five minutes before we need to leave." I nodded again and Sam left leaving me alone with Paul. I walked over to him and he let the door close as he took me into his arms.

"I leave tomorrow," I said softly into his chest and his grip tightened on me. "Will you come tonight?"

"I'll be there the second your parents' light goes out," he promised and I slowly pulled back from him so I could look up at him. He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. "I love you," he whispered as he still leaned down so his face was hovering above my upturned face.

"I love you too," I whispered back before I tilted my chin up and kissed him again. "I'll see you tonight," I said as pulled away from him completely. He nodded and I gave him a tight smile before I went into the hall only to find Sam standing by the door with his coat and boots already on. I adjusted the scarf on my head and smoothed out my shirt once more as I walked down the hall. Sam looked up at me and smiled. "Sorry," I said quickly as I jogged over to my boots and pulled them on and then my coat, scarf, and gloves. "Are Emily and the kids still sleeping?" I asked and he shook his head.

"No, they went to see Abigail and Ken," Sam said and I frowned.

"What time is it?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Nearly ten," he said and my eyes widened.

"Ten?" I asked and Sam laughed again at my surprised face. "Paul said it was early."

"He hasn't exactly gotten much sleep the last week, so, it is early for him," Sam said and I sighed quietly as I looked back down the hall and at the door that was now closed. "Don't worry," he said and I looked at him. "He'll go back to sleep and he'll be wide awake when he comes to see you tonight." I laughed lightly as Sam opened the door and the two of us went down the porch steps and towards his truck. We climbed in and soon we were on our way.

"So," I said after a few minutes of silence and looked at Sam as he drove. "What color is your wolf form?" I asked and I watched as a small smile make its way across his lips.

"Black," he said.

"Is your form as big as Paul's?" I asked and the smile on his face grew.

"I'm bigger, but Paul's pretty close," he said. I nodded before I turned my eyes out the window.

"Will he be okay?" I asked softly.

"Who?" Sam asked and I looked back at him.

"I go back to Seattle tomorrow. Will Paul be okay when I leave?" I asked.

"He'll be okay," Sam said. "It'll be a bit rough until he gets used to it, but it won't be anything he can't manage. Talking with you on the phone will help, and from what I understand he plans on coming to Seattle every weekend." I laughed lightly at that and nodded.

"I know," I said. "I tried to talk him out of that, but he wasn't having any of it."

"He might not be able to, but he will sure as hell try," Sam said as he turned into my grandparents' driveway. I smiled at Sam as he pulled the truck to a stop and I unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Thank you, Sam, and tell Emily, Ethan, and Sara that I said bye," I said and he nodded.

"Bye, Amanda," he said and I climbed out of the truck. I walked up to the house only to see the door open. Mom stood in the doorway and I forced a smile at her.

"Hi Mom," I said as I walked up the stairs. "Thanks for letting me stay at Emily's last night. Jared and Kim left shortly after midnight, but I stayed to help Emily clean up and I didn't want to make Sam drive all the way here so late." I repeated what Emily had told Mom last night with a small smile as I went inside and she sighed quietly as she held out my morning medication.

"I expected you home hours ago," she said and I took off my gloves before I took the pills from her.

"Sorry," I said. "Sam tried to wake me, but it took him a couple of times."

"Mitchell, bring me a glass of water for Amanda," Mom called before she looked at me. "Have you had breakfast?"

"No," I said. "I got ready in a rush when I realized the time." Dad brought out a small glass of water.

"I'll fix you something to eat," she said as she walked pass Dad and into the kitchen. I sighed as I took the glass of water from Dad and took my medication. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

After dinner I was helping Grandpa with the dishes since it was his night to do them, and I wanted to talk with him privately. When Grandma joined Mom and Dad in the living room, I took a plate from Grandpa and started drying it before I spoke. "Grandpa," I said and he glanced at me over his shoulder as he washed another plate. "I know about Paul and the guys," I whispered and he stopped the sponge's movement over the plate and turned to look at me fully.

"You know?" he asked and I nodded.

"They told me last night," I said and he sighed softly before he smiled at me.

"So, the book of legends came in handy then?" he asked and I laughed as I put the plate in the rack for it to completely dry. I nodded and took the other plate from him. "I was worried you were going to be afraid of them."

"I didn't believe him at first, but then the pieces started to fit," I said. "Paul was the wolf I saw in the woods. Have you ever seen them in their wolf form?"

"No, I haven't seen them in person," he said. "Billy's described them, so, I know which boy is which."

"I've only seen Paul, and let me tell you . . . it's amazing," I said. "He's a beautiful dark gray and massive. It's like standing next to a very muscular and broad horse. His eyes are almost exactly the same though, that's how I figured it out when he told me. I remembered the wolf's eyes."

"So Paul was finally able to see you," he said. "Poor boy's been running all around chasing those leeches." It was still weird for me to be talking about vampires actually being real, but Grandpa was a member of the council and it didn't surprise me that he would know about them.

"They caught them last night, before he told me," I said and Grandpa nodded as he handed me another plate. We worked in silence for a few more minutes before I spoke again. "Grandpa would you and Grandma mind if I spent my spring break here with you guys? It isn't until the first part in April, but I've been thinking about coming out here for a little while now." Grandpa chuckled as he handed me a bowl.

"You mean here with Paul, and not really with your grandma and me?" he asked and I blushed as I quickly dried the bowl. "I wouldn't mind and I know your grandma would love to have you. You'd just have to convince your mother."

"I'll be eighteen then," I said. "If she won't let me take my car, then I'll take a bus."

"You are your mother's daughter, you know that right?" he asked and I frowned. I really didn't think I was anything like my mother, so, I waited for him to continue. "She threatened to do the same thing when she started dating your father, but unlike her I think you actually mean it."

"You bet I do," I said and he started laughing. I joined him with a soft laugh of my own and we finished up the dishes. I was both dreading and looking forward to going to bed. I was looking forward to it because it meant that Paul would soon be there, but I was dreading it because it was my last night in La Push and my last night with Paul for at least a week.


	16. Chapter 16

Hello everyone. Thank you all so much for your reviews and adds. I can't believe I'm one review away from a hundred. I'm so glad you all are enjoying this story so much. It's sort of become my baby, and I can only hope I don't dissappoint. Thanks again, and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 16

"What time do you leave in the morning?" Paul asked me softly from our position on my bed. He'd been there for almost three hours and we hadn't said much to each other. He just held me close and played with my hair as we laid on the bed together. My suitcase was packed and resting at the foot of my bed, and the book Grandpa gave me rested on top. I planned on paging through it again on the ride back to Seattle.

"Dad wants to leave at eight," I said, "so we're home by the afternoon. He and Mom have to go back to work on Monday and Derek and I go back to school then too." I snuggled closer to him and wrapped my arm around his waist. "You seem more relaxed than usual. How come?" I asked as I turned my eyes to his and he smiled.

"Because you know my secret," he said as he moved his hand from the ends of my hair to my face. "I don't have to worry about you finding out and running away from me." I smiled at him as he ran his thumb along my cheek.

"I'll be coming back in April," I said and he lowered his hand from my face and looked at me curiously. I hadn't told him my plans yet, and I figured that moment was as good as any. "I'm going to spend my spring break here."

"Really?" he asked, a smile slowly making its way across his lips and I nodded as I raised my head and propped my elbow up to rest my head on my hand.

"Yes, really," I said. "We get a week off and I plan on spending every single day of it with you." His breathtaking smile was blinding before he leaned into me and kissed me. I sighed against his lips as I moved my hands to his face as he gently pushed me back so I was lying back on the bed and he was hovering above me.

His right hand supported his weight above me and his left hand glided down my side to rest on my left hip. My hands slid from his face and across his chest before I wrapped my arms around him. My fingers dug into his back on their own accord as I found myself moaning softly without really thinking as the rough calluses of his hot hands slid under my t-shirt and over the smooth skin of my stomach. At the sound, he roughly pulled himself away from me and stood from the bed, pacing the short length of the room as he tried to calm his heavy breathing. I was panting lightly as well as I propped myself up on my elbows and watched him pace for a few quiet seconds.

"Maybe the bed isn't the best place to talk," he said as he stopped pacing and looked at me. "I'm sorry, Amanda," he said and I shook my head as I quickly stood from the bed and walked over to him. I put my hands on his waist as I looked up at him and his hands were in fists at his sides. It was as if he was restraining himself from touching me.

"Don't be sorry, Paul," I said softly. "You weren't doing anything that I didn't want you to; and if you did, I would have stopped you." He sighed softly as he slowly raised his hands and rested them on my upper arms.

"I should go," he said and I frowned as I closed the small distance between us and pressed myself to him.

"Why?" I asked and he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"Because it's nearly one in the morning and you have to get up soon," he said before he leaned down even more and placed a kiss on my lips.

"All right," I said gently as he pulled back from me. "You still have my address right?" I asked and he smiled.

"I memorized it the second you gave it to me," he said. "I'll call you and let you know when I'll be there." I nodded as he walked over to the window, but before he could open it I stopped him.

"Wait," I said before I ran over to him and as he turned to look at me I launched myself into his arms. He quickly recovered from the surprise and as I wrapped my legs around him, he put his hands on the back of my thighs to support my weight. I kissed him with my arms around his neck and he kissed me back just as heatedly as I kissed him. After several long seconds I finally pulled my lips from his. "I love you," I whispered with my forehead against his.

"I love you too," he said heavily before he kissed me again, but chastely as he slowly lowered me to the floor. "Get some sleep, and I'll see you as soon as I can," he said and I nodded as I watched him open the window and disappear into the night.

I sighed softly as I closed the window and locked it before I slowly walked to my bed and laid down after turning off the light. I drifted off to sleep knowing that I was going to dream of my tall Quileute boy and I wasn't the least bit ashamed about it.

* * *

After saying good bye to Grandma and Grandpa we all piled into the SUV and we were on our way to Seattle. The ride was silent for the most part since Derek was listening to his iPod again and I was just watching the scenery pass by. It wasn't until Derek shook my arm that I realized I had fallen asleep, and as I looked around I noticed that we were parked outside our house in the small Seattle suburb we lived in.

"When did I fall asleep?" I asked with a frown as Mom and Dad climbed out and I looked at Derek who grinned at me.

"I think before we were even to Forks," he said with a chuckle. "You went to bed earlier than I did. Didn't you sleep well?"

"I slept fine, I just had a hard time falling asleep," I said as I unbuckled my seatbelt and Derek undid his. "I spent most of the night reading."

"You and your books," he said as he shook his head and climbed out of the car. I sighed, relieved that he bought the small lie. I leaned down and picked up the legends book from the floor of the car. It must have fallen off my lap when I fell asleep. I climbed out then only to be tackled against the car and blinded by a mass of blonde curls.

"Mandy!" Emma cried happily before I hugged her back and laughed at her enthusiasm. We'd been best friends from the time we were in diapers seeing as our parents were friends and we lived right next door to each other. "Why didn't you call me?" she questioned as she pulled back, but kept her hands on my shoulders.

"My cell didn't work and my grandparents don't have long distance," I reasoned as I looked up at her and she sighed.

"I've been dying to talk to you for the last two weeks. You won't believe what happened with Tyler," she said quickly as she lowered her hands and looked at Mom who was standing by the trunk of the SUV and smiling at us. "Molly, would it be all right if Amanda came over to my house for a little while? We have tons to catch up on." Mom laughed and nodded as she looked at me, but I knew her question before she even asked.

"My medicine is in my pocket, so, I can take it when I go inside," I said.

"All right, have fun," she said and Emma laughed before she took my hand and practically dragged me to her house. It hadn't snowed as much in the city, so, there was only a light covering of snow and it was easy to cross our yards. I clutched my book to my chest as I ran behind Emma, laughing as she bolted in the house.

"Mom! Amanda's here," she yelled as she let go of my hand to allow me to take off my boots and coat. Tracy stuck her head into the hall from the kitchen and smiled at me.

"Hi, Amanda, did you guys have a nice vacation?" she asked and I nodded as I hung up my coat, taking my camera and pillbox out of my coat pockets.

"We did," I said.

"Good," she said with a smile. "Do you girls want something to eat?" Emma looked at me and I nodded with a shrug as I picked up the book from the floor.

"Sure, Mom, whatever you want to fix is fine," Emma said. "We'll be up in my room." With that Emma and I went upstairs and into her room. Once inside, she closed the door behind us and threw herself on her bed in her usual dramatic fashion before she raised her head and looked at me. "We need to get you a new cell phone. I drove my mother crazy because I kept complaining about not being able to talk to you." I laughed and sat down on her computer chair as I sat my things down on her desk and she sat up her blonde curls settling around her shoulders.

"I know what you mean," I said. "I have some stuff that I need to talk to you about too, but first what's up with Tyler?" Tyler was Emma's on again off again boyfriend since sophomore year. He was a nice guy, but kind of flakey when it came to Emma and his relationship. He confided in me once that he thought Emma was too good for him, but I told him that he was wrong. They were perfect for each other; they just didn't realize it.

"Well, we're sort of dating again," she said, "and he actually said it."

"Said what?" I asked with a frown.

"He told me he loved me," she said and I smiled. "He said he's been an idiot because he's never going find someone that makes him feel the way I make him feel and that he's tired of wasting time. He wants to be with me." I laughed happily before I stood and went to the bed, hugging Emma tightly. She laughed as she hugged me back.

"He finally admitted it," I said as I pulled back and looked at her sparkling green eyes. She was beyond happy and I was happy for her. "It's about time he took his head out of his ass." Emma laughed and nodded her head.

"I know, he even gave me this for Christmas," she said as she held out her left hand and revealed the simple silver band with embedded with tiny white stones I assumed were diamonds. "It's a promise ring."

"It's beautiful, Emma," I told her honestly and she smiled as she looked down at it and then at me.

"Where'd you get that?" she asked as she reached out and picked up the pendant that hung around my neck. I laughed lightly and smiled as I looked down at it in her palm before I looked back at her to find her looking at me curiously.

"From my boyfriend," I said and her eyes widened before she lowered her hand to the bed.

"What?" she asked clearly shocked. I wasn't the least bit surprised by her reaction. It was still sinking in for me. "When did this happen?"

"Over break," I said.

"Who and how?" she asked and I smiled.

"Well, his name is Paul and he lives on the reservation. We met my second day there," I said.

"And he's already your boyfriend?" she asked and I nodded.

"We sort of hit it off, but you can't tell my mom about him," I said. "She banned us from seeing each other and she doesn't know I've been seeing him behind her back ."

"Why did she ban you from seeing him? Is he like a bad boy or something?" she asked and I laughed.

"No, he's a really sweet and good guy," I said, "but he's ten years older than me."

"Ten?" she asked her eyes wide again and I nodded. "Wow. Really?" she asked and I laughed again.

"Yeah," I said.

"What does he look like?" she asked curiously.

"I can show you a picture," I said as I climbed off the bed and grabbed my camera off her desk. I had convinced Paul to let me take his picture the first night he had visited me in my room, and ever since I'd been careful to know where my camera was at all times in case Mom got a hold of it.

"Nice camera," she said when I rejoined her on the bed.

"I got it for Christmas," I said as I turned it on and went to the picture I had taken of Paul. "This is Paul," I said as I handed her the camera. He was shirtless in the picture, but you could really only see his shoulders since it was a shot of his smiling face.

"Damn, Amanda, _that's_ Paul?" she asked with her green eyes still wide and I smiled as she looked up at me.

"Yeah, beautiful isn't he?" I asked and she snorted as she looked back down at the screen and Paul's image.

"Hot is more like it," she said. "How tall is he?" I chuckled at the question because Emma had a thing for tall guys since she herself was tall. Tyler was a lanky six feet three inches and perfect for my five feet ten inch friend. She looked at me expectantly and I took the camera from her.

"I don't know for sure, but he's at least three or four inches taller than Tyler and he's . . .," I trailed off blushing when I realized I was about to tell her he was ripped.

"And he's what?" she asked with a grin.

"He's got a nice body, okay?" I stood from the bed and turned off the camera, blushing even more at her laugh.

"And how would you know?" she asked.

"My virtue's still intact, Em, so get your mind out of the gutter," I said as I sat down on her computer chair again and looked at her, "and I just know."

"Mhmm," she said, still grinning as Tracy knocked on the door and brought in a tray that held two bowls and two glasses of orange soda.

"We had my beef casserole that you like so much last night, Amanda, so I heated some up for you guys," she said with a smile as she carried the tray in and sat it on Emma's desk.

"Thanks, Tracy," I said with a smile and she nodded.

"Be sure to bring your dishes down when you're done," she said looking at Emma. "I don't want to find them under your bed."

"Mom, that was _one_ time," Emma said and I laughed.

"True, but half my dishes were under there," Tracy said with a grin and I laughed again while Emma mocked glared at me. "If you need anything else, I'll be right downstairs." We nodded and Tracy left the room while Emma stood and grabbed her bowl, spoon, and glass.

"Okay, tell me more about this Paul," she said. I blushed again before I quickly took my medicine and grabbed my bowl from the tray. "I want to know _everything_ and don't spare the juicy details. Those lips look lethal."

"Emma!" I chided but she just laughed.

"What? They do, and you can't tell me they're not," she said, which made me blush even deeper while Emma laughed again.

"Shut up," I mumbled before I took a bite of Tracy's casserole while Emma continued to giggle. I had missed Emma, and I was glad I had someone other than Grandpa to talk to, but I knew I couldn't tell her everything about Paul. It was going to be a much needed girls' afternoon and as much as I missed Paul, I had Emma to keep me busy and I knew I wouldn't be disappointed.


	17. Chapter 17

You guys are so amazing! Over a hundred alerts, reviews, and over forty favorites. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It's not exactly my favorite. Thank you all so much for your reviews and adds. Like I said, you guys are amazing. Let me know what you think and thanks for reading.

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 17

School was the same as it was before the holiday break only Emma and Tyler would walk hand in hand to lunch after our shared physics class. On more than one occasion over the last week did I feel like a third wheel thanks to their PDA, but I wasn't going to deny the obvious happiness of my best friend. I knew she wouldn't do that to me, so, I would just give them some privacy by walking away and call Paul.

It was Friday, but the night before I found out that Paul wouldn't be able to come and see me over the weekend. Sam, Jared, and him were on a job; an actual carpentry job; and he wasn't going to be able to visit. I'd been looking forward to him coming, and so had Emma since she wanted to meet the 'Bronze God' as she had taken to calling him. I had threatened to shoot her with Derek's old bebe gun if she ever called him that to his face, but she just laughed at me. She thought I was kidding, but I was dead serious.

Emma was out with Tyler while I was sitting in my room bored out of my mind and watching some TV movie since there was nothing else on. Just as I was debating on whether or not to call it a night at eight o'clock, there was a soft knock on my door. I sat up on my bed and turned the TV down before I looked at the door.

"Come in," I said and Mom opened the door before she walked into my room leaving the door open.

"Hey," she said softly and I forced a small smile. We hadn't exactly been on good terms since the day she 'banned' me from seeing Paul, but we'd gotten better over the last week. "Can we talk?" she asked and I nodded as she walked over and sat down on the edge of my queen sized bed.

"Is everything okay?" I asked and she sighed quietly.

"No," she said and I frowned.

"What's wrong?" I asked and she looked at the TV for a second before she looked back at me.

"Grandpa called me today while I was at lunch, and he said something that I haven't been able to stop thinking about," she said. "He said that you're planning on going to La Push over spring break."

"I'm not planning on it, Mom, I'm going," I said. "Grandpa already told me that I could stay with him and Grandma. If you won't let me take my car, I'll-," I started but she interrupted me.

"Amanda, I'm not going to stop you," she said quickly and that stopped my ranting in its tracks.

"You're not?" I asked and she laughed lightly as she reached over and took my right hand into both of hers.

"You're grandpa told me something else. He told me that I needed to stop being so hard on you because you're just like I was when I was seventeen. As much as I hate to admit it, he's right." I had no idea what to say, so, I let her continue. "I fell in love with your father the moment I met him, and after we got married . . . I did doubt if I had done the right thing. However, after a while I realized that he was everything I wanted and then we had you. I knew our lives were only going to get better. This last year has been hard, Amanda, and I'm not ready to see you grow up; especially since we almost lost you this summer.

"But, I know I have to let you grow up and make your own mistakes, even when I want to hold you back to save you from potential heartbreak," she paused and patted my hand in hers. "I was wrong to stop you from seeing Paul, but I have a feeling that my saying you couldn't see him stopped you." I blushed lightly and she smiled. "You'll be eighteen soon, and it'll be up to you to make your own decisions. I can only hope that your decision to continue seeing Paul is a good one."

"Paul really is a great guy, Mom," I said. "He's sweet and kind, and he cares a lot about me. You just have to give him a chance."

"I don't want to see you hurt, Amanda."

"Mom, he won't ever hurt me. He'd die before he even thought of it," I said softly as I turned my hand in hers and squeezed her hand tightly. She looked at me like I had grown another head but I just smiled at her.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked. What I wanted to say was 'well, he's a Quileute legend come to life, I'm his soul mate, and we're always going to be together.' However, I knew I couldn't say that.

"I feel it here," I said as I raised my free hand to my heart. She sighed before she leaned in and kissed my head.

"Alright, it's your decision and I won't stop you," she said softly. "I love you, Amanda, I hope you know that," she said as she let go of my hand and stood from the bed.

"I know, Mom, but you can tone it down a little bit sometimes," I said and she laughed.

"I'll work on that," she said and I smiled at her. "Good night."

"Night," I said and she left the room, closing the door behind her as she went. I quickly grabbed my cell phone off my nightstand and dialed Paul's number. He answered it just as the second ring started.

"Hello?" he questioned, his voice sounding anxious and my smile grew.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," he said back sounding more relaxed and far less anxious. "Didn't I talk to you like three hours ago?" He was teasing, but I could play along.

"Fine, if you don't want to talk to me, then I'll hang up," I said doing my best to sound annoyed and snippy.

"Wait! Amanda I was kidding!" he yelled in my ear, which made me laugh.

"So was I," I said and he sighed before he chuckled quietly.

"Not funny," he said.

"You started it," I said and he laughed again. "Guess what just happened."

"What?" he asked and I smiled.

"That's not a guess."

"I'm not psychic, Amanda, you got to give me something," he said.

"Mom surprised me with a talk and she knows that we didn't stop seeing each other after she told us to," I said.

"Oh?" he asked, his voice sounding anxious again.

"Don't worry, she's come to her senses," I said and he laughed. "She's letting me take my heart into my own hands and decide who I give it to. Too bad she doesn't know you already have it."

"And I plan on taking good care of it," he promised and I smiled. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to come out there this weekend, but I'll make it up to you."

"It's okay, Paul, and I know you will," I said with a small smile before I sighed quietly and laid back against my pillows. "So, how is everyone?" I asked and the conversation carried on with Paul updating me on life in La Push and me telling Paul my less than eventful week.

* * *

The next week went by in similar fashion as the week before, but that Saturday was my eighteenth birthday. It was Friday afternoon and I was standing at my locker getting the books I needed for my homework over the weekend and my backpack when Emma and our friends, Lauren and Melissa, came up to me.

"Hey guys," I said with a smile and Lauren was the first to speak.

"Why are you not having a get together tomorrow?" Lauren asked bluntly and I looked at her as I closed my locker and slid my bag onto my shoulder. "We asked Emma what time we're supposed to come over tomorrow and she told us that you're not doing anything with us for your birthday."

"I told you it's because she has company coming," Emma said as she linked her arm with mine and the four of us headed down the hall towards the exit. Paul was due to arrive around lunch tomorrow and I was planning on spending the morning getting ready with Emma's help. I wanted to impress him, even though I knew I didn't have to. Mom even said he could join us for dinner that at my favorite restaurant, Marcello's. I hadn't told Lauren and Melissa about Paul yet. We may have been friends but we weren't as close as Emma and I were, and Paul and I were still new. I wanted to keep it to myself for as long as I could.

"That doesn't mean we can't get together," Melissa reasoned as she and Lauren flanked Emma and me. "It's your eighteenth birthday; you can't just sit at home."

"I won't be at home," I said as we walked outside and into the chilly afternoon air and to the parking lot where my car was waiting. Emma was riding home with me since Tyler had to work that night. We were planning a movie night since I was going to be occupied with Paul pretty much the whole weekend.

"What are you going to do then?" Lauren asked as we neared the lot.

"My parents and brother are taking me out to dinner and I just want a nice quiet night. Maybe we could do something next weekend," I suggested. I heard Emma gasp before she came to a sudden stop as we walked along the row of cars in which mine was parked. I jerked to a stop beside her and Lauren and Melissa also stopped, all three of us frowning as we turned and looked at her. "What's wrong?" I asked and she smiled before she looked down at me.

"Looks like your present got here a little early," she said, her green eyes twinkling yet again, which only made me frown more. "Look at your car, Mandy," she said as she looked up. Melissa and Lauren both turned to look before I did.

"Wow," Lauren said.

"Who is that?" Melissa asked and I turned around. Paul was standing at my car, leaning against the hood of my dark green Civic. He was looking down at Jessica White, who was standing in front of him twisting her long blonde hair as she chatted away. He looked board, but a polite and forced smile was on his face to be nice. She was Miss Popular, but there was no way her hair flip or long eye lashes were going to intimidate me. Paul was mine and I was going to take what was mine. I let go of Emma's arm and pulled my backpack off my shoulder as I turned and looked up at her.

"Could you bring this to the car?" I asked and she smiled and nodded before she silently urged me on.

"Who is that?" Melissa asked again, sounding slightly annoyed that she hadn't gotten an answer yet, and Emma laughed.

"Amanda's boyfriend," Emma said before I took off in a run towards my car. I heard either Lauren or Melissa say something, but I didn't understand what it was. I was too focused on Paul to really care.

"Paul!" I shouted and he looked up from Jessica and smiled his beautiful smile that was for me and me alone. He stood from his perch on my car and turned away from a frowning Jessica before I jumped into his open arms, throwing my arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me from the ground. "Gosh, I missed you," I said softly into his ear and he sighed gently.

"I missed you too," he said before he settled me back to the ground. I smiled brightly as I looked up at him and he laughed as he raised his hands to my hair and fixed the black scarf I had wrapped around my head that day.

"Thanks," I said and he chuckled as he nodded. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow."

"I wanted to surprise you," he said, still smiling as he looked at me. "Surprised?"

"Definitely," I said and he started to lean down and kiss me when a throat clearing stopped him. He stood straight and sighed as he turned around to look at Jessica, who smiled at us.

"Jessica, thanks for keeping me company until Amanda came out," Paul said and she looked between us as Paul wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close to his body. I wrapped my left arm around his waist, under his coat, loving the feel of his warmth against me again.

"You two know each other?" she asked.

"Of course we know each other. He's my boyfriend," I said and she raised an eyebrow as she looked at me, clearly not believing me.

"Hey Jess!" the deep voice of Brendan Paulsen, Jessica's current boyfriend, called. She rolled her eyes before she smiled up at Paul.

"It was nice to meet you, Paul, call me if you ever get bored," she said as she held out a piece of paper that I assumed had her number on it. I raised both my eyebrows at the gull of the girl, but Paul just waived his hand.

"Thanks, but I'm good," he said before he brought his free hand to my chin and raised my head up to kiss me lightly on the lips.

I heard Jessica scoff as she walked away, but I was too lost in Paul's kiss to care as I turned in his arms and deepened the innocent kiss he started. His hand moved to cup my face as he pressed me tighter to his body and kissed me back just as heatedly as I kissed him. I didn't know how long we stood there, but Emma's whistling and catcalling slowly brought my blissful moment to an end.

"Damn, Amanda, I didn't know you had _that_ in you," Emma said and I laughed as I buried my face in Paul's chest while he laughed right along with me. Sighing, I lifted my head and looked at my smiling best friend and a shocked looking Lauren and Melissa. "Well, don't be rude, introduce us already," Emma said and I smiled at her as I looked up at Paul briefly before I looked back at my friends.

"Emma, Lauren, and Melissa," I said gesturing to my friends, "this is my boyfriend, Paul."

"Hi ladies," Paul said charmingly and you couldn't wipe the smile off my face if you tried. I snuggled closer to him as they made small talk and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I didn't care if I got anything for my birthday or even if my family actually went out to dinner the following day, Paul was with me and there was nothing else I wanted.


	18. Chapter 18

I know I've said this a lot, but I seriously think I have the best readers ever. I'm so glad you all are enjoying this story so much. Thank you for all the adds and reviews. This was supposed to be up yesterday, but I was having a rough day yesterday. I hope you all like this chapter, and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 18

After about ten minutes of pointless chatter between Emma and Paul and open mouthed staring on Lauren and Melissa's part; Emma, being the best friend that she was, told me that she'd get a ride home with Melissa and take a reign check on our movie night before dragging the two girls away. The parking lot was pretty much empty when I finally had Paul to myself and I sighed contentedly as I wrapped my arms around him and he leaned against the side of my car as he too wrapped his arms around me.

"I am so glad you came early," I said softly knowing that despite the noise around us he would hear me. He kissed the top of my head before I looked up at him still smiling. I'd been smiling so much the last few minutes that my face was actually starting to hurt, but I didn't care.

"I am too," he said with a smile. "What do you say to me following you to your house and then you and I got out?"

"You mean like an actual date?" I asked and he laughed as he raised his right hand to my face.

"Yeah, an actual date," he said.

"Okay," I said. "You know, this will be our second date."

"Third," he said and I frowned.

"Third?" I asked and he chuckled before he tapped my chin with his bent index finger.

"I'm counting Christmas Eve," he said. "It may not have been a date to you, but it was to me. You looked beautiful that day, just like you do now."

"Paul, I'm not wearing any make up, my hair's a mess under my scarf, and under my coat I'm wearing a baggy sweatshirt with a hole at the hem," I said with a laugh. "I'm not going to win any beauty awards today."

"You have no idea how beautiful you are, Amanda," he said deeply, his hand coming up and cupping my face again.

"I'm your imprint, Paul, you'd tell me I was beautiful if I had a horn growing out of the middle of my forehead," I said as I blushed and tried to brush off the compliment.

"If you weren't my imprint, I'd think you were beautiful. Do you even look in the mirror when you get ready in the morning?" he asked and my face only heated more. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Let's get in your car and you can drive me to the back lot, I'll get my truck, and we'll go to your place. If you want, you can change, and I'll take you out; wherever you want to go."

"All right," I said softly with a small smile before I realized something. "How did you know what school I went to, how to get here, and which car was mine?" He laughed as I pulled back and he took my hands into his.

"Your grandpa told me," he said. "There are these amazing things called maps that help you find where you're going and there's not another dark green Civic in this lot."

"Funny," I said as I took my hands from his and playfully smacked his chest. He laughed again before he caught my hands, pressing them to his chest. He looked down at me for several seconds while I looked up at him. That was one thing I liked about my relationship with Paul, we didn't always have to talk.

"Come on," he said softly to break our silent staring contest as he let go of my hands and picked up my backpack from where Emma had left it on the hood of my car. I smiled at him as I pulled my car keys out of my jeans pocket and unlocked the doors before we climbed in. I drove him to his truck in the back lot and he kissed me briefly before he climbed out and went to his truck.

* * *

My stomach was filled with butterflies as we drove to my house. I knew my parents weren't home yet. Neither one ever got home before five during the week and it was barely three. Derek was more than likely at his friend, Kyle's, place because they were going to a concert with Kyle's dad that night. Paul and I would be alone, but not for long because I didn't want to chance Mom or Dad coming home early. They knew Paul was coming to Seattle, but they were expecting him tomorrow and they thought I was spending the night at Emma's.

I pulled up in front of the garage before I hit the opener that was clipped to my visor. We had a double car garage and since Dad's SUV was a too big to fit in with Mom's sedan he let me park my car in there. As I expected, Mom's car wasn't in the garage. Once my car was parked, I pulled my cell phone out of my coat pocket and quickly called Emma.

"Don't tell me the Bronze God has left you alone?" Emma asked as she answered her phone.

"No, he hasn't," I said with a light laugh, but in a whispered tone since I knew Paul's hearing was probably very sharp. "I take it you're not home yet."

"Not yet," she said. "Melissa dropped Lauren off first to get her out of the car. She was driving the two of us crazy with her questions about Paul."

"How could you not tell us about him?" came Melissa's voice in the background and I laughed lightly.

"Tell her I'll tell her more about him later," I said and Emma repeated my message. "Em, I need a _huge _favor."

"Well, I owe you several, so shoot," she said and I smiled.

"My parents don't know Paul's in town tonight," I said. "Do you think you could play it up like I'm at your place and I'll sneak into your place after your parents go to sleep?"

"Sure," she said. "It should be pretty easy to do since they never bother us anymore. Just text me when you're on your way and I'll meet you at the side door."

"Thanks, Em," I said. "I'll leave a note for my parents."

"Okay, have fun, and I expect details before I let you get a second of sleep," she said and I laughed again.

"All right," I said. "Bye."

"Bye," she said and we hung up. I took a deep breath and climbed out the car. I expected Paul to have at least walk up to the house, but he wasn't anywhere in sight. I looked outside the garage and to where Paul had parked his truck in front of the house. I waived him in with a smile when I noticed he was still in the cab of the truck as I pulled my backpack out of the back seat of my car. In the second it took me to grab the bag and close the car door, Paul was standing beside me. He glanced outside and then at the door that led to the house before he looked back at me.

"Are you sure it's okay that I come in?" he asked and I nodded.

"Mom and Dad don't get home until after five and Derek's at a friend's house. You'll be fine for the fifteen minutes I need to change and leave a note for them," I assured him as I held out my hand to him. He smiled as he looked down at my hand before he grasped my hand in his much larger one. I walked him through the garage and up the two steps to the door as I hit the button to close the garage and unlocked the door with my free hand. We walked into the kitchen and I reluctantly let go of Paul's hand before I turned around to look at him. "Make yourself at home, I won't be too long."

He nodded and I walked through the kitchen and our dining area before I went upstairs and into my room. I tossed my bag on the floor by my nightstand and quickly pulled off my coat before I tossed it onto the bed. I went to my closet and ruffled through a few of my tops and sighed in frustration when nothing really fit my mood.

"So," Paul's deep voice said behind me and I turned around only to see him standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. "This is your room," he said as he glanced around my room.

I watched his face as he took in the light blue walls that held a few pictures and my pushpin board that was littered with photos of Emma, our friends, and me. The white carpet had seen better days, and my over laden bookcase/desk combination was a little messy with a few books pulled out and my laptop half open. My TV rested on top of my tall dresser and thankfully I had decided to make my queen sized bed that morning, so, the white and blue linens were neat save for my coat lying on top of them. All in all my room wasn't a mess, but having him in it was far different than it had been while I was in La Push. This was my room where I had lived day after day from the time my parents brought me home from the hospital until that very moment.

"It's a little messy," I said and his eyes found mine where I stood in front of my closet. He laughed lightly and shook his head.

"You haven't seen messy until you've seen Embry and Quil's place," Paul said. "You'd think they would learn to clean up after themselves more than once a month at their age, but it hasn't sunk in yet." I laughed as he walked further into the room and over to where I stood.

"What do you want to do? If I know, then I'll know how to dress," I said and he looked down at what I was wearing. It wasn't as frumpy as I made it out to be, but it didn't exactly scream 'date me' either.

"You look beautiful just as you," he said. "Why don't we grab a bite to eat and you can show me around? I haven't been to Seattle since I was a kid, and it's not too cold out to explore. Maybe we could catch a movie before I bring you back home."

"Sounds perfect," I said with a smile before I frowned slightly. "Where are you staying while you're in town?"

"I got a hotel room in the city," he said. "Nothing too impressive, but it's a place to crash while I'm here." I nodded my head before my smile returned. "So, you ready?"

"Yeah," I said. "Let me just write a quick note telling my parents I'm with Emma and then we'll go."

"You're not going to tell them you're with me?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and I shook my head with a smirk on my face.

"No," I said and his eyebrow remained raised. "What can I say; you bring out my rebellious side." He chuckled as he shook his head and leaned down to me. He kissed me chastely, but when I tried to deep the kiss he pulled away.

"Where do you want to go to eat?" he asked.

"There's this really great diner that has these amazing, and huge, hamburgers and I swear the best curly fries you've ever eaten," I said and he smiled. "I just realized I'm starving and I never leave that place hungry."

"All right, that's where we'll go," he said still smiling as he looked down at me. "Do you want to ride with me or separately?"

"With you of course," I said and his smile grew into that breathtaking one of his. My heart started racing and my stomach swirled just like it always did when he gave me that smile. He held out his hand to me and I took it after I grabbed my coat from the bed and the two of us made our way downstairs. Paul waited in the foyer while I went into the kitchen to leave Mom and Dad a note on the table.

It took me a few minutes because I couldn't find the message pad that Mom usually kept by the phone. For some reason it was by the sink. I quickly scribbled them a note telling them I was at Emma's and would be staying the night with her and that I would be home by nine the next morning. I'd just ripped the page from the notepad and put it on the table when Paul came back in.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said before he smiled brightly, grabbed my hand, and pulled me from the room. I only had enough time to grab my coat and laugh before we were soon our way.

* * *

"Thank you for today, Paul," I said from my seat right next to him in the cab of his truck. Emma had texted me that her parents were asleep when Paul and I were leaving the movie theater. I texted back letting her know we were on our way when Paul told me he should be getting me back home since it was 11:30.

"Why do you always thank me?" he asked as he glanced at me and I shrugged.

"I don't know, it just feels like I should," I said and he glanced at me again. Thanks to the lights of the dashboard I could tell that there was a frown on his face. "I want you to know I appreciate everything you do for me," I said as he turned down my street and slowly brought the truck to a stop outside Emma's house. My house was dark, so, I knew my parents were also asleep and the only light on at Emma's was her bedroom window.

"Amanda," Paul said and I looked away from Emma's house and to his face. He'd turned his headlights off and with no streetlights along my street I couldn't see his face very clearly in the night. However, I could see a suddenly serious expression on his face as he looked down at me. "You don't have to thank me," he said with a pause before he brought his left hand to my face. "I know that you appreciate everything."

I raised my head and kissed him then. I didn't know why, but I had to feel his lips against mine. Paul's right arm snaked around my back and he pulled me close as we kissed and somehow I found myself straddling his lap with the bottom of the steering wheel pressed against my lower back. My hands rested on his shoulders as the kiss deepened and I suddenly wasn't close enough to him. I pressed myself against him and I could feel his body heat seep through his clothes and through my coat.

His hands had moved to my hips and he was gripping me tightly as I pressed my lower body closer to his. I slid my hands down his chest, sighing into our kiss as I felt his muscles under his t-shirt since he had left his jacket unzipped. I wanted to feel his skin. I needed to feel his skin, so I slid my hands between us towards the hem of his shirt. My fingers had just slipped under the hem of his shirt and they had no more brushed against his hot skin when he grunted and pulled his lips from mine and his hands left my hips to gently grasp my wrists.

"Amanda," he breathed, his voice deeper and huskier than usual, and my eyes snapped open at the desperate plea in his voice. My eyes locked with his. Even in the darkness I could see the longing in the dark pools of his eyes, and I knew my eyes mirrored his. There was an unfamiliar tension between my legs but I wasn't naïve, I knew what it was and I knew what I wanted to rectify the situation. However, it was too soon for that and not exactly the best place for it.

"Sorry," I said my own voice heavy. "I really don't know what came over me."

"It's completely natural, Amanda," he said before he brought my hands up to rest on his chest while he kept his wrapped around my wrists. "We love each other." I smiled at him and nodded. "You should go inside," he whispered. "I think Emma's getting impatient."

"Okay," I whispered before I leaned in and kissed him, chastely this time, before I pulled my hands off his chest and climbed off of him. He shifted in his seat and I noticed how he subtlety pulled on the crotch of his jeans and I blushed when I realized that I wasn't the only one effected by our make out session. "I'll see you tomorrow," I said, "and dress nice for dinner tomorrow night."

"I will," he promised with a small smile on his face and I couldn't help myself. I kissed him once more, but quickly pulled away as I slid to the passenger side of the truck and put my hand on the door handle.

"I love you," I said and he smiled.

"I love you too," he said gently and with that I quickly walked up Emma's walkway and around the house to the side door. I heard Paul's truck drive away as I walked up the small porch and into the house. I locked the door behind me after I entered the mudroom of Emma's house and I quickly took off my boots and hung up my coat next to Emma's before I walked through the familiar layout of the house and up the stairs to Emma's room. My blonde haired friend quickly moved away from the window and grinned as she looked at me.

"Have fun?" she asked softly and I smiled.

"So much," I said and she laughed.

"You've got that satisfied smile on your face, Amanda, what were you doing?" she asked as I sat down on her bed and I sighed as I laid back against the covers. She giggled before she joined me on the bed, but she was lying on her stomach, propped up on her elbows so she could look down at me.

"We didn't do anything," I told her as my eyes met hers, but she didn't believe me. I could tell by the look in her eyes. "We just kissed, I swear, but a kiss from Paul is very satisfying."

"I bet," Emma mumbled and I laughed before I hit her with a pillow, which only led to a pillow fight. My day could not have ended better; a perfect night with Paul and then time with my best friend. It was definitely the best day of my life so far, and I knew they were only going to get better.


	19. Chapter 19

Hello everyone! I hope you all had a great day. Today was a much better day than the last couple of days for me, and since you guys are so awesome I thought I'd give you another chapter today even though I updated yesterday. Thank you all so so much for your reviews (they really make my day) and for your adds. I'm really glad you all are enjoying the story so far. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 19

After I got home the following morning Mom whipped up a large breakfast of waffles, bacon, sausage, toast, and fruit; all my favorites; before she, Dad, and Derek sang happy birthday to me and gave me my presents. Mom and Dad got me a pair of diamond stud earrings. They weren't huge like basketball player style, but they were a decent size and not gaudy. To my surprise Derek had gotten me a book I had off handedly mentioned that I wanted to get over dinner the week before. Once breakfast was over I set to doing my homework because I had a feeling that I wasn't going to get much time tomorrow to accomplish it. It was my last day with Paul for a while and I was planning on enjoying him as much as I could.

Paul called the house line at one o'clock and spoke to Mom. Surprisingly the conversation had been civil on Mom's end but tight, and I was pretty sure that Paul was respectful. He was going to arrive at the house at five thirty so we could make our six o'clock reservation at Marcello's. Emma had come over at three to help me get ready. Marcello's had a dress code and was one of the nicest restaurants in Seattle. They served Italian inspired food that was absolutely amazing, and I'd been in love with the place since we had gone there when I was sixteen for some dinner Dad's office was having.

After a long hot shower, I was yet again a bundle of nerves as Emma helped me with my make up and hair. Emma was like a magician when it came to making me look my best. She'd been the one to do Lauren, Melissa, and my hair for our junior prom the year before and I just knew that she was going to succeed in her plans of becoming a make up artist/stylist in Hollywood. She already had connections thanks to a cousin of hers who was in the industry and once she had her license it was off to sunny Los Angeles for my best friend.

"Are you sure this isn't going to be too much?" I asked as Emma put the final touches on the smoky eye she insisted on doing.

"When have I ever steered you wrong?" she asked as she pulled the brush back from my face and looked down at me with a pointed look. Never in our eighteen years of friendship had Emma ever given me crappy advice.

"Right, good point," I said and she laughed before she finished my make up.

"The Bronze God isn't going to be able to look at anything but you all night long," Emma said softly and I felt my face heat. "However, something tells me he already does that."

"Em," I warned but she just smiled.

"It doesn't surprise me though," she said as she stepped back, a satisfied smile on her face.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm not going to tell you because it's your birthday and I don't feel like arguing with you," she said smiling and it was my turn to roll my eyes. "All right, stand up and take a look at yourself." I took a deep breath and stood from my computer chair and carefully walked over to my closed bedroom door. I was wearing a pair of black high heels that added nearly four inches to my modest height and even though I could walk in heels just fine those shoes were foreign to me since I had only wore them once around the house to break them in after Mom bought them for me.

The young woman looking back at me was one I didn't recognize. I looked older, but in a good way of course, than I had that morning when I woke up at Emma's house. Emma had curled my hair and pinned it around my head so that the few bald patches I had that still showed were well hidden by the pinned curls. It was beautiful and it felt wonderful not to have a scarf or a hat on my head. The make up wasn't as heavy as I had been expecting. The focus was my eyes and the dark smoldering look Emma created was perfect and made my hazel eyes stand out. She had put a pale pink gloss on my lips to give them a bit of color, and it was subtle but nice.

"Wow, Em, it's perfect," I said softly. I loved my make up and hair, but what had me worried was the dress I wore. It was the middle of winter and yet I was wearing an emerald green cocktail dress that was light and flowing with somewhat deep V, an empire waist design and thick straps over my shoulders. It showed off my bust well, but I was still covered and the sheer pantyhose I wore to keep the chill of my legs held in the little puff I had going on my lower stomach. "Are you sure this dress is okay? I think Dad will flip because of this," I said as I turned around to look at Emma and gestured to my chest.

"Mandy, you see more of your chest when you're wearing your bathing suit," Emma said. "It's fine. You look hot." I laughed and shook my head as I sighed quietly and turned back around to look at my reflection.

"Do you think Paul will like it?" I asked her, even though I knew the answer to that question. I was still self-conscious and I needed my best friend to kick me in the rear end to straighten me out.

"He'll love it," she said smiling as she walked up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders and looked at my reflection. I looked at hers and smiled before I looked at my reflection again. The necklace Paul gave me hung around my neck and ironically it went well with the dress I had bought before Christmas. The earrings my parents gave me were in my ears and on display thanks to Emma's hair design. I didn't know if I should wear both of them, but I wanted to so they seemed to pull everything together. "You know, I've never seen you like this over a guy you've liked."

"They were all unobtainable, I could only watch from a distance," I said. "Paul just happens to like me back."

"Well, I think it's more than like," she said. "You two love each other, don't you?" After only a few minutes of watching Paul and I together and she knows. Were we really that obvious as we stood in the parking lot together while they talked? I decided it was best to voice my question since I knew Emma would give me a straight answer.

"Are we that obvious?" I asked and Emma smiled as she shook her head negatively.

"Not really, but you two practically glow when your together. It's like you were two were made for each other or something," she said still smiling. She had no idea how hard she had just hit the nail on the head, but I just smiled back at her as a blush raged across my cheeks.

"Amanda!" came Dad's deep voice from downstairs and my eyes instantly went to my alarm clock on my nightstand. It was just before 5:30 and I knew Dad was calling me down because Paul was there. "Paul's here!" he yelled up. I looked back at Emma's reflection and she squeezed my shoulders.

"You ready?" she asked and I nodded, the butterflies making a triumphant return. I really had no reason to be as nervous as I was. I knew Paul was already mine, but I couldn't help it. I wanted the night to go perfectly and I could only hope that it would. "Let's go." She let go of my shoulders and walked around me before she opened the door and walked out of the room. After taking a deep breath, I followed her and hesitated as I reached the stairs. "You look lovely Molly and dashing as ever Mitchell," I heard Emma say and Mom and Dad laugh. "Even you clean up nice Derek."

"Whatever, Emma, where's Amanda?" Derek asked and I heard Emma's tennis shoes squeak on the tiled floor of the foyer before she stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at me.

"Amanda, come on, everyone's waiting," she said with a wink and I sighed before I made my way down the stairs, careful not to fall down the stairs in my high heels. When I was settled on the tiled floor of the foyer, I raised my head and smiled at everyone. Mom clasped her hands in front of her and brought them to her lips as she smiled and looked at me. Derek gave me a goofy smile and Dad looked at me with a small smile before he looked to his left with narrowed eyes, undoubtedly looking at Paul.

Finally, after a great deal of courage mustering, I turned my eyes to Paul and where he stood next to Emma. He towered over the people around him and he looked perfect in the black slacks and dark red button up he wore under his open black jacket. His short black hair was the perfect mix of neat and messy that it always was. His mouth hung open slightly as his dark eyes scanned over me. I could feel the trail they left from my feet all the way up to my eyes and when the dark orbs that I loved so much met my eyes, I smiled at him. When our eyes met I no longer felt nervous, and I walked over to him with the smile still on my face.

"Hello Paul," I said gently and he finally snapped out of whatever stupor he was in before he smiled down at me.

"Hi," he said and Dad cleared his throat, breaking us apart and drawing our attention to him.

"We should get going if we want to make the reservation," Dad said and I nodded before I turned to Emma and hugged her tightly.

"Thanks Emma," I said and she laughed as she hugged me back.

"You're welcome and have fun tonight," she said as we pulled back. "Good night everyone," she said with a smile before she grabbed her coat from the closet and left the house.

"Get your coat, Amanda, and we'll go," Mom said and I nodded before I went to the closet and pulled out my black pea coat. As I closed the closet door, Paul was next to me and took the coat from my hands before he held it out to me so I could put it on. I smiled my thanks to him before I slid my arms in and he gently draped it over my shoulders. "Paul, will you be riding with us or driving your truck and following?" Mom asked as I buttoned up my coat and turned around to look at her.

"I'll drive and follow, Mrs. Kent, if that's all right with you," Paul said and Mom nodded.

"I'd like to ride with him," I said and both Mom and Dad looked at me while Derek chuckled, assumingly at my bravery. "Please," I said as I looked at Mom who sighed and reluctantly nodded.

"Okay that's fine," she said and I smiled before I took Paul's hand into mine, lacing our fingers together as I looked up at him.

"Let's go," I said and the five of us left the house. Derek, Mom, and Dad went to the SUV while I walked down the driveway with Paul and to his truck. He let go of my hand so he could open the door for me and I smiled at him. "Thank you," I said and I started to climb in, but Paul stopped me by gently grabbing my arm. I looked up at him and he smiled.

"You look amazing, Amanda," he said and I smiled back at him.

"Thank you and you don't look so bad yourself," I said and his smile turned into a grin before he let go of my arm and let me climb in the truck. It wouldn't take long to get to the restaurant, and I hoped that everything would go smoothly.

* * *

Marcello's was my favorite restaurant because of the wonderful food, but the restaurant itself was beautifully decorated in deep reds and dark wood. It was dimly lit and soft music played from hidden speakers scattered about the dining area. I realized that night how truly romantic the place was. The host took our coats and the six of us were soon settled at our table and after taking our drink orders the waiter left us with the menus to decide our meals.

"The tordelli is one of my favorites," I whispered to Paul as he looked a little lost while scanning the menu. "I think you'd like that. Do you like seafood?" I asked as I looked at him and he smiled as he looked at me and nodded. "You might like the shrimp fra diavolo too."

"Thanks," he whispered and I smiled at him before I looked at the menu trying to decide between the tordelli or the ricotta ravioli.

"So, Paul, you work for Sam," Dad said breaking the silence settled around the table as we all thought about what we were going to eat. "Do you like it and do you think it will allow you to support a family?"

"Dad," I chided as I put my menu down and looked Dad, who barely glanced at me before he settled his eyes on Paul again. "We just started dating, there's no need to give him the third degree."

"It's okay, Amanda, I'll answer his question," Paul said and I looked at him. He gave me an encouraging smile before he looked at Dad. "I do. I work hard for what I have, Mr. Kent, and it allows me to live comfortably now and it will allow me to support my future family just fine." Dad seemed satisfied with Paul's answer and opened his mouth to say something else when thankfully the waiter brought our drinks. I squeezed the lemon and lime I had asked for into my glass of sprite before I took a drink and sighed softly.

"Are you ready to order?" he asked gently as he looked over the table and Mom nodded before she told him the appetizers she wanted for the table and then her order before we went around the table with our orders. Paul went with the tordelli so I went with the ricotta ravioli. When the waiter left the air around the table was heavy and I looked at Mom, hoping she would say something to lighten the tension before Dad started grilling Paul again.

"Paul," Mom said and Paul looked at her expectantly as he put his glass of soda back down onto the table after he had taken a drink. "I want to apologize for how I treated you when you brought Amanda back to her grandparents' that day." I clinched my jaw to keep it from falling open at what she said. I knew she was going to back off a bit and accept my relationship with Paul, but I didn't expect her to apologize to him. The woman never ceased to amaze me.

"You don't have to apologize, Mrs. Kent, I understood," Paul said and Mom gave him a tight lipped smile before she continued.

"Yes, I do. However, I don't really agree with your relationship with Amanda, but you make her happy," Mom said before she looked at Dad. "It's her birthday, Mitchell; please don't interrogate him now," she said softly, but we still heard her all the same. Dad sighed before he raised his glass of red wine to his lips and took a drink. Mom was drinking soda along with the rest of us, so, I had a feeling Mom was going to be driving home.

"So," Derek said and we all looked at him. "The Seahawks really sucked this year, huh?" he asked and everyone, including Dad, chuckled at his attempt to break up the tension. Surprisingly, it worked for at least a few minutes and the conversation turned civil. I looked at my brother and mouthed 'thank you' to him before he winked at me and joined in the team bashing with Dad and Paul while Mom and I just listened to them until the appetizers were brought out and everyone took a bit of everything Mom ordered.

"What is this?" Paul asked me quietly and I laughed as he held up a piece of fried calamari. I didn't know if he was up for something I knew he'd never eaten before, so, I thought I'd tell him before he ate it.

"Calamari," I said and he raised a dark eyebrow at me, which made me smile. "It's squid," I said and he looked at it with a somewhat disturbed expression. "Trust me, Paul, it's good," I assured him as I ate a piece from my plate after dipping it in the sauce. He mirrored my action by dipping his piece of calamari in the sauce before he popped it in his mouth. I watched his face to see what he thought about it and the corners of his lips turned up a bit as he chewed.

"Not bad," he said and I laughed again before I raised my napkin and wiped at the side of his mouth where he had gotten a bit of the sauce.

"Told you," I said softly before I brought my napkin back to my lap. He looked down at me from his seat next to me and his eyes softened as a gentle expression took over his face.

"Thanks," he said and I smiled at him as he bravely leaned in and kissed my temple before returning to his plate. I slowly did the same, but Mom's expression caught my eye and I looked at her fully.

Her fork was hovering near her mouth as she looked at Paul and me where we sat across from her and Dad with a curious look on her face before her eyes caught mine. She lowered her fork and gave me a small understanding smile before she looked down at her plate and then at Dad as he ate his food without much attention to what was going around him. She put her fork down on her plate and covered Dad's left hand that rested on the table with her right. Dad looked at her and smiled at the loving look on her face before he turned his hand under hers and squeezed her hand tightly.

I knew then that she understood. She understood because she felt the same way about Dad. We really were more alike than I ever thought possible. I guess the old saying was right; the apple really didn't fall far from the tree.


	20. Chapter 20

Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for your reviews and adds. Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out. Things have been a little crazy lately, but it's all calmed down now and I should be back on my posting schedule of every other day. Thanks again and even though this is more of a filler chapter I hope you all like it. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 20

Dinner went much smoother after the initial pothole we hit at Dad's questioning and Mom's apology. We were getting our coats from the host when I walked up to Mom. "Mom," I said and she turned slightly to look down at me. "Is it all right if I go out with Paul for a little while? It's only seven-thirty and I just want to spend a little more time with him."

"Okay, but be home no later than midnight," she said and I smiled before I kissed her cheek.

"Thank you, Mom," I said and she gave me a small smile as she nodded.

"Amanda," Paul said and I turned around to look at him and smiled as he held out my coat to me. I closed the small distance between us and slipped my arms into my coat. As I buttoned it, I turned back around and looked up at him. "Where do you want to go?" he asked softly and I laughed lightly knowing that he heard me as Mom if I could go with him.

"Anywhere," I said and he smiled. I said good bye to my family and left the restaurant hand in hand with Paul. It was completely dark out and a bit chillier than when we left the house, but I wasn't feeling any of it with Paul's hot hand wrapped completely around mine and my body close to his. We walked to his truck in the back lot of Marcello's and soon we were driving through the streets of Seattle.

"You sure there isn't any place you want to go?" he asked and I tore my eyes from the window and looked at him. We were stopped at a red light so he was looking at me.

"Not really," I said and he smiled.

"Can you walk much in those heels?" he asked as his eyes gestured towards my feet before they met mine again in the dimly lit truck cab.

"A bit, but you might end up carrying me back to the truck if you plan on exploring," I said and he chuckled.

"I can handle that," he said before he returned his eyes to the traffic ahead as the light turned green. We ended up at his hotel, but only so he could park his truck in the underground lot before he took my hand, lead me outside, and then started weaving me down the slightly crowded streets. It was a Saturday night and the city was alive with activity despite the chilly night air. "Do you mind just walking around with me for a while until we find something interesting to do?"

"No," I said softly with a smile that he returned with a wink. I moved closer to Paul as we walked and put my left hand on the elbow of his left arm before he squeezed my right hand tighter in his left. I loved Seattle and everything it had to offer, but I loved La Push more. I loved the quiet and the smell of the trees over the noise and the smell of exhaust and the various restaurants throughout the city. I knew that because of my relationship with Paul I was going to end up living on the reservation in La Push, but it wouldn't bother me one bit. I was actually counting on it.

"I've been here before, but I still like La Push more. It's much quieter," Paul said, seemingly echoing my thoughts and I laughed lightly.

"Is reading minds part of your thing too?" I asked as I looked up at him and he looked down at me with a laugh of his own.

"What?" he asked and I sighed as I turned my head forward and rested it against his upper arm/shoulder as we walked.

"I was thinking the same thing," I admitted and he stopped suddenly, pulling me to a stop beside him. "Is something wrong?" I asked as I turned so I was facing him and looking up at him.

"Would you move to La Push to be with me?" he asked softly as he gently pulled me to the side so we weren't standing in the middle of the sidewalk. I frowned at the question, but nodded all the same.

"Of course," I said as I held his gaze. He looked surprised by my answer, and I didn't understand why. "Did you think I wouldn't?"

"I haven't really thought about it, but I know you've got a lot you want to do," he said honestly. "You're going to college, you want to get your teaching degree, and establish your career. I just thought that our life together would be on the back burner until you were ready." I let go of his hand then and raised my hands to his face, holding his head in my gloved hands so he couldn't look away from me.

"Yes, I'm going to college and, yes, I have every intention of getting my teaching degree; but you and the life I want _with_ you will not be on the back burner," I told him pointedly as I slid my hands from his face to rest them on his chest and on the dark red button up he was wearing that night. "I won't start school until next winter," I said gently as I looked away from his face and at one of the top buttons of his shirt before I started toying with it to distract myself from what I was trying to get out. What I had been debating around in my head for the last week. It was so early in our relationship, but because of the whole imprinting thing our relationship was different than most.

"Tell me what you're trying to say, Amanda," Paul said deeply as he put his hands on my waist and pulled my body flush to his. I looked up at him and stilled my hands on his chest while my hazel eyes held his brown. "You know you can tell me anything." I smiled softly at his words before I took a deep breath and spoke, softly but with determination in my tone.

"I want to spend the summer and fall with you before I come back to Seattle and start my classes. Once I'm established, I'll be able to transfer and take my courses online and I was hoping . . . I was hoping that I could move in with you when I do." The smile that lit up his face was the same breathtaking smile that made me weak in the knees. I really needed to think of a better way to describe that smile, but it took my breath away every time he looked at me with that smile. There truly wasn't a better way to describe it.

"Amanda, you could move in with me tomorrow if you wanted to," he said before he leaned down and kissed me deeply. My knees really did give out then and I slumped against him as my hands moved up to his shoulders and his arms wrapped around my body and held me to him so I wouldn't fall. Slowly, we pulled apart and I looked up at him panting slightly from the kiss we had just shared. "I love you," he said and I laughed lightly as I righted myself in front of him and laid my head against his chest.

"I love you too," I said back as I closed my eyes.

"Do you like to dance?" he asked suddenly and I smiled as I looked up at him.

"Yeah, why?" I asked and he smiled.

"Let's go dancing," he said as he raised a hand from my back and gestured towards a dance club that was down the street from where we stood. I looked at it and nodded before I returned my eyes to his.

"Okay," I said and he smiled before he leaned down and kissed me chastely before he took my hand and we started towards the club together. There was a pep in my step that hadn't been there before because Paul knew my intentions and because of that there was a more solid feeling to our relationship. It was more real and now there was a definite future for us. I wasn't going to let anything change that.

* * *

"You can't leave me alone again!" Emma cried as she threw herself back against my bed when we walked into my room after a long Friday at school. It was the first weekend in April and the start of our spring vacation meaning I was leaving for La Push at eight the following morning to spend the week with Paul and everyone else. I was looking forward to seeing everyone, especially Kim and the newest addition to her and Jared's family.

A week past her due date, Kim delivered a very large and very healthy baby boy they named Kevin Samuel. They named their baby after Kim's dad who died when Kim was little and Sam because, well, he's Sam. Kevin came into the world at nearly nine and a half pounds and twenty inches long. It was no wonder Kim looked like she was ready to explode when I met her. She was carrying a small watermelon in her. Paul had brought me pictures and aside from his nose, Kevin already looked like Jared. I hadn't seen Paul for two weeks because with the change in weather, work picked up for him and the guys; so, I had to be satisfied with just hearing his voice on the phone. I couldn't wait to rectify that tomorrow.

"I'm not leaving you alone," I said as I put my bag down next to my desk and joined Emma on the bed. "Tyler will be happy to have you all to himself." Emma sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes, but a smile was on her face that made me laugh. "Don't act like you don't enjoy it when you two are alone," I said as I grabbed one of my throw pillows and hit her with it. She laughed at me before she nodded in agreement.

"I do enjoy it," Emma said quietly before she sat up and looked down at me. I had tucked the pillow under my head and looked up at her as a grin made its way across her lips. "So, have you and the Bronze God . . . you know, yet?" she asked as she raised an eyebrow. I blushed deeply as I sat up and looked away from Emma.

"No," I said quickly and Emma scoffed.

"Seriously?" she asked and I nodded.

"We really just like spending time together right now," I said. "Paul's careful with me. I know he wants to go further than our heated make out sessions, but he's not going to pressure me for anything. I think that if we're going to go further, I'm going to have to be the one to make the move and I don't know if I'm brave enough to." The smile was back on Emma's face and I was suddenly nervous. "What?"

"Do you have any money left from what your grandparents sent you for your birthday and from your babysitting jobs?" she asked.

"I've got most of it left, why?" I asked with a frown and she laughed before she quickly stood.

"Get it and come on. The mall's only open until nine and we've got some shopping to do," Emma said.

"Shopping for what?" I asked as I slowly stood, got my coin purse out of my desk drawer and then my purse from where it rested on my desk.

"For something that will give you the kick in the ass you need," she said before she appraised me for a second. "Blue would be best for your skin tone; royal blue and lacy. You're lace, not leather."

"What?" I asked, my voice a few octaves higher, which made her laugh before she took my hand.

"Trust me," she said, smiling brightly. "You'll thank me later when Paul's control breaks at seeing you in what I have planned."

"_Oh boy,"_ I thought before she dragged me from my room and to the mall. It didn't take us long to get there since Emma was driving and soon she was dragging me into Victoria's Secret and towards the little more risqué section of the store. I had shopped there of course, but I kept to the PG section. Emma was taking me to the section I avoided at all costs.

"There has got to be something here that will be perfect," she said as she started to pick threw everything.

"Emma, is this really necessary?" I asked and she looked up at me. "Paul would find me irresistible if I was just in my old cotton bra and panties."

"True, but don't you want to give him a little something to look at?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. She had a point. I bit my lower lip before I nodded and she smiled. "All right. Help me look." I sighed and started looking around for something 'blue and lacy' like Emma suggested. After a few minutes Emma let out a triumphant, yet quiet, yell as she held up a royal blue set that was practically see through. "You don't mind wearing a bikini thong do you?" she asked. It was awkward for me to be shopping for lingerie with Emma, but my friend knew far more about this stuff than I did.

"I guess not," I said and she smiled.

"You will look so hot in this, he's not going to be able to keep his hands off of you," Emma said as she looked at the set. "Bra's the right size, but I need to switch out the panties," she said quietly so I knew she was talking to herself. My cell phone decided to go off then and I pulled it out of my purse as I left Emma to her hunting and walked a short distance away from her.

"Hello," I said without looking at the ID.

"I can't wait to see you tomorrow," Paul's voice said into my ear and my face heated in an even deeper blush. He just had to call me then? Really?

"I can't wait to see you either," I said softly.

"You'll get here around noon, right?" he asked and I smiled.

"Yes, between twelve and twelve-thirty," I said. "All depends on how fast I go and if I hit any traffic."

"Be careful though, okay? I don't want you to get into an accident or anything," he said.

"I won't," I told him.

"Mandy, I've got everything you need. Paul's going to-," Emma said but stopped when she saw me shaking my head and shushing her.

"Where are you?" he asked curiously.

"The mall," I said quickly. "Emma needed to pick up a few things." I wasn't exactly lying to him, but I was _not _going to tell him she was picking up a few things for me.

"What am I going to do?" Paul asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked playing dumb and blushing again.

"Emma said my name, what was she talking about?" he asked, laughing lightly and I didn't know what to tell him. The lost look on my face made Emma swing into action and she saved me from answering by taking my phone.

"Don't worry, Paul, you'll know in good time. Buh-bye," she said as she hung up the phone and handed it back to me with a smile on her face. "Come on, we're all set." I tucked my phone into my purse as I sighed quietly and followed Emma to the register. It was going to be an interesting week; there was little doubt about that.


	21. Chapter 21

Happy Friday, well, it's really almost Saturday now since it's just shy of midnight where I live, so, Happy Weekend! Anyway, thank you all so much for your reviews and adds. I'm pretty sure this is the chapter everyone has been waiting for and I'm a little worried that it won't live up to expectations. I've never really written a love scene before, so, if it's terrible I'm sorry. This chapter is over six thousand words, which is the longest chapter I've ever written and I really do hope you all enjoy it. Please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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**Chapter 21**

The drive to La Push seemed much longer than four hours as I drew closer to my grandparents' house, but I knew that was because I was just excited to see Paul. My shopping trip the day before with Emma had been an experience, and the girl even gave me a plan on what to do. I didn't even want to ask where she came up with it. Knowing Emma she probably saw it in some movie or listened in on one of her mom's sessions when she worked for her mom over the summer. Tracy was a therapist and had a small office downtown where Emma sometimes worked.

I wasn't sure if I would follow through with everything that night or wait until later in the week, but there were a few things that I was definitely sure off. I loved Paul and I wanted to be with him and give him that part of me and show him a side that no one but him would ever see. As I drove I found myself wondering what it was going to be like when I was with Paul. Emma said her first time with Tyler hurt and that it was awkward but that it had gotten better. However, I knew Paul wasn't a virgin like Tyler was when he was with Emma and the only thing I was really afraid of was that I wasn't going to be very good at it. Shaking my head, I pushed away my thoughts and focused on my driving when I realized I was almost there.

The snow was gone leaving wet grass and mud in its place. The sun was actually out that day, and I decided that I would ask Paul if we could go to the beach to enjoy the afternoon before moving on to any evening plans he had. The following day we were going to Sam and Emily's for a get together with everyone. I turned into the drive of my grandparents' home and smiled when I saw Paul's truck sitting next to Grandpa's. I wasn't even halfway up the drive when I saw Paul walk out of the house and down the porch steps.

I smiled at him through the windshield as I parked my car and he smiled back before he came over to the side of the car and swooped me up into his arms the second I was out of the car. Our greeting was much like it was the day he surprised me at school all those weeks ago and I reveled in his warmth for a good while before he settled me back on the ground. His smile was still on his face as he looked down at me and then proceeded to run his hands through my scarf and hat free hair. Emma talked me out of wearing and bringing my scarves since my hair had grown in enough so that the spots were barely noticeable unless you were looking for them.

"You weren't kidding this morning when you said you wouldn't be wearing a scarf anymore," he said gently as I sighed and closed my eyes at the feel of his fingers against my scalp. Too soon for my liking he pulled his hands from my hair and completely away from me. I opened my eyes with a frown only to find him looking towards the house. I turned and looked towards the house and smiled when I saw Grandma and Grandpa making their way outside.

"You think the house was on fire as fast as that boy moved when we heard your car," Grandma said with a bright smile of her own as she hugged me. I laughed and hugged her back before I moved on to Grandpa.

"Did you have a safe trip?" he asked and I nodded as I pulled back from him.

"Yeah," I said. "I didn't even have to stop for gas." He smiled before he looked at Paul.

"Paul, would you bring her things inside for her and we'll have lunch," Grandpa said and I shook my head, interrupting what Paul was going to say.

"He doesn't have to, Grandpa, I got it," I said as I walked around Paul and to the trunk of my car. I took a deep breath as I unlocked the trunk and looked at my lone suitcase and small black bag. The small black bag held my recent purchase and a few other items Emma told me I should bring along, which included massage oil. Just thinking of what was in that bag made me blush and it didn't help that Paul had followed me. "I got this one," I said as I grabbed the black bag and held it close to me. Paul laughed before he took in the expression on my face. I was pretty sure panic was there and that would explain why he frowned as he looked at me.

"Is something wrong?" he asked and I shook my head negatively as I forced a tight smile.

"No, its . . . there's a surprise in this bag for you and I don't want you to guess what it is," I said. That pesky blush wasn't going anywhere and he smiled as he looked at the bag and then at me.

"My birthday isn't until June, Amanda" he said and I rolled my eyes before I found myself relaxing slightly as my smile loosened and I laughed lightly.

"It's not for your birthday," I said and he looked at me curiously.

"Do I get it tonight?" he asked and I looked down at the bag in my hands before I slowly looked back at him.

"It all depends on what you have planned for tonight," I said and he shrugged as he grabbed my suitcase with ease out of the trunk and closed it.

"I figured you'd be tired from the drive," he said. "How about we watch a few movies at my place? You haven't been there yet and I cleaned up for you." He winked and I laughed before I nodded. I had to push away the butterflies that erupted in my stomach.

"Sounds perfect actually," I said and yet again he looked surprised by my answer. I kept doing that to him and I didn't understand it.

"Really?" he asked and I smiled.

"Yeah," I said. "I love movies so long as you got decent popcorn." He smiled before he held out his free hand to me and we headed towards the house where Grandpa and Grandma were waiting on the porch.

"So, do I get my surprise tonight since we're staying in?" he asked in a whisper as he leaned down slightly as we walked.

"Maybe," I said as I tightened my grip on the handle of the bag and he chuckled.

"Can't wait," he said and my blush was back.

"_You have no idea,"_ I thought as I smiled at Grandma and she ushered us inside to the kitchen for lunch.

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After a quiet lunch with my grandparents Paul and I did head to the beach for a little while, but despite the sun it was still chilly. So, instead of walking along the beach we had sat near a large piece of drift wood, Paul's back resting against it with his legs open and his knees bent and me settled in between his legs with my back against his stomach. We had talked for the longest time as the sun started to slowly sink towards the horizon and Paul suggested that we go to his place for dinner. I had agreed, but said that I wanted to freshen up a bit before we did, so, he drove me back to Grandma and Grandpa's. I had told him that I'd need an hour and after he gave me an odd look he told me that was fine and he joined Grandpa in the living room.

I showered, shaved, and lathered my body with lotion as Emma told me to do to make sure my skin was smooth. I nearly cut myself with the razor several times because my hands had already started to tremble. When that was done I stood in my room, wearing only a towel around my body and my hair still wet, and looked down at the royal blue bra and matching panties. I sighed heavily as I shook my head and grabbed the undergarments and then my jeans and long sleeved shirt before I went into the bathroom. I was psyching myself out and I needed to focus on just relaxing with Paul while we had dinner and watched a few movies. He wasn't expecting anything, with the exception of his surprise, but I could make something up on the fly if I chickened out.

I got dressed and blow dried my hair before I used the large curling iron I had heated up to place gentle curls in my hair that I pinned back using a butterfly clip. I had just walked out of the bathroom when there was a soft knock on my door. "Come in," I said as I sat down on my bed to pull on my shoes. Grandma walked into the room and smiled at me as she closed the door behind her. "Hey, Grandma, is everything okay?" I asked and she laughed lightly as she nodded.

"Yes, everything's fine," she said as she watched me tie my shoes and stand. "I just wanted to let you know that Grandpa and I understand if you don't come home tonight." My mouth fell open and I quickly shut it as a blush raged across my cheeks yet again. "You're an adult and Paul's a good man. All I can say is; be careful. We're not quite ready for great-grandchildren."

"Grandma . . .," I said softly, but she just smiled and shook her head.

"I was young once, Amanda," she said, "and I know how love is. Have fun." She winked at me before she left and I laughed lightly as I grabbed the black bag and my coat from the foot of my bed. I walked downstairs and into the living room where Paul was still sitting. But instead of watching TV he was talking quietly with Grandpa and laughed at something the older man said.

"You ready, Paul?" I asked and they both turned in their attention to where I stood in the doorway. Paul smiled at me before he stood and walked over to me. "I'll see you later, Grandpa," I said after Paul shrugged on his coat and helped me into mine before taking my hand. He smiled and waved before Paul and I went outside. "So, do you want me to follow you in my car or do you just want to drive?"

"I'll drive," he said as he looked at me. "That way when you want to go home, I can make sure you get here safely." I nodded in agreement, before I climbed in his truck and we were on our way. Paul lived farther from my grandparents' house than I was expecting but as he pulled up in front of a quaint one level dark brown house with a small covered porch and detached garage I found myself smiling. "What are you thinking?"

"How perfect your house is," I told him honestly as I turned to look at him.

"It's not much, but its home," he said with a small smile in return. "Come on, let's go inside so I can fix you something to eat."

"I'm really not that hungry, Paul," I said. I really didn't think I could eat because my stomach was full of butterflies.

"You have to eat, Amanda," he said, "and I'm starving." I laughed before I reluctantly agreed and we made our way into the house. He turned on a light that rested in front of the window by the door and to my surprise his small living room was neat and I took a deep breath when his familiar scent washed over me. His house smelt just like him. "Make yourself at home, I'm going to start dinner."

"What are you cooking?" I asked as I put my bag down on the ground and started to take off my coat. He paused in his steps towards the kitchen as he turned to look at me.

"Spaghetti. Is that okay?" he said and I laughed.

"Perfect," I said and he smiled before he went into the kitchen. I took off my coat and hung it up next to his I picked up my bag again and instead of settling on the rather comfortable looking couch, I looked down the very short hall that was to the left. Two door rested there and they were both open so I could tell that the room on the left was the bathroom and the room on the right was Paul's bedroom. All in all the house was very comfortable and I could easily see myself living there. Carefully, I made my way towards his bedroom where I carefully sat the black bag just inside the door. Once that was done, I made my way into the kitchen as Paul was heating a sauce on the stove and boiling water.

"Don't you want to relax?" he asked as he looked at me and I shook my head.

"I'd like to help," I said and he smiled.

"All right, once the water is boiling you can add the pasta," he said and I nodded as I watched him add spices to the tomato sauce he started off with and tentatively taste it.

"Do you cook for yourself often?" I asked and he looked at me.

"I wanted to learn when I realized that it was a lot on Emily to cook for all of us," he said. "I'm not that good, but I haven't made anything too terrible. I've mastered spaghetti. That's why it's what we're having for dinner."

"I'm not the best cook either, but I can make a few things," I said. "I'll have to cook something for you while I'm here."

"I'd like that," he said with a smile and my heart jumped in my chest. I knew then that I was silly to be afraid of sleeping with him, and I was no longer afraid for what that night was going to bring. I was looking forward to it.

* * *

Dinner had been wonderful and after we cleaned up the mess we were settled on the sofa and watching a movie. I was barely paying any attention to it because I was snuggled into Paul's side and his high body heat was making me drowsy. Finally as the credits rolled I sat up and smiled at him.

"May I use your bathroom?" I asked and he nodded. I got up from the sofa and paused long enough to kiss his cheek. He smiled at me as he watched me stand up fully again before I turned and headed into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. "You can do this, Amanda," I whispered very softly to my reflection.

I turned away from the mirror and started to pull of my shirt but paused when I saw a black button up shirt of Paul's hanging on a hanger on a hook on the back of the bathroom door. It looked like the same shirt he had worn on Christmas Eve and I smiled as I came up with a new element to Emma's plan. I pulled off my shirt and folded it neatly before I sat it on the bathroom counter. My jeans quickly followed as did my socks. The nerves were back in full force as I reached up and took the button up off the hanger before I unbuttoned the buttons and slipped it on over my shoulders.

I was practically swimming in the soft black cotton because it was so big on me, the length was almost to my knees, but I just rolled the sleeves up to my elbows and buttoned a few buttons in the middle of the shirt. I took another deep breath as I looked at my reflection and pulled the butterfly clip from my hair. The soft curls I had put in my hair earlier had held and they framed my face nicely. My hands were trembling again as I sat the clip down on top of my clothes and grabbed the door knob. I shook my head at my silliness before I turned off the light and opened the bathroom door.

"I was starting to wonder if you fell in," Paul said as I took half a step out of the bathroom. He was still on the couch and was doing something with the TV so his attention was solely on the television in front of him. I walked completely out of the bathroom and stood at the entrance of the short hall.

"Paul?" I questioned softly.

"Yeah?" he asked as he glanced at me briefly before he looked back at the TV only to freeze. A half a second passed before he turned his head to look at me fully and the remote fell from his hand with a small thump onto the rug that covered the wood floor of the living room. His eyes scanned my body from my toes to the top of my head before they settled on my eyes. His shirt covered me well enough that he couldn't see what I was wearing underneath it, but judging by the look on his face his imagination was having fun trying to think of what laid underneath the shirt.

"I wanted to give you your surprise," I said when I saw his eyes trail down my body again. I started walking over to him and his eyes snapped back to mine.

"What?" he asked. His voice was tight as he stood from his seat on the couch. I tapped into my inner Emma and smiled at him in what I hoped was a sultry way as I came to a stop in front of him. I saw his Adam's apple bob in his throat as his eyes held mine and I could have sworn he was starting to sweat, but I knew that he didn't really sweat because of his abilities.

"Unbutton your shirt for your surprise," I whispered as I looked up at him.

"What?" he asked again and I laughed lightly as I raised my hands to his chest. I ran my fingers lightly across his chest and down his stomach as I moved closer and looked up at him through my eyelashes.

"Unbutton your shirt for your surprise," I said again before I let my hands fall to my sides and looked up at him fully. Slowly, he raised his hands to the loose fabric in front of me. His eyes left mine as he unbuttoned the four buttons I buttoned and pushed open the black shirt.

"Wow," he said huskily as he looked at me and a blush filled my cheeks as I raised my hands to my shoulders and pulled his shirt from my body and let it fall on the floor behind me. His hot hands moved to my waist and pulled me close. I gasped at his touch and tingling sensation that filled my body. I couldn't read the expression on his face and his dark eyes seemed even darker as he looked at me.

"Do you like it?" I bravely asked.

"Amanda, are you sure about this?" he asked when he was finally able to look away from my body and to my eyes again. He knew that if I wasn't sure about it, I wouldn't have been standing in front of him in a set of underwear that left very little to the imagination and yet he still asked if I was sure about what I was doing.

"I've never been surer about anything before in my life," I said, "and you didn't answer my question." The corners of his lips turned up slightly but he held back his smile.

"I love it. Blue is your color," he said heavily before he tightened his grip on my waist and leaned down to kiss me deeply, silencing the laugh that started to escape my lips. I sighed against his lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned his kiss. His rough but gentle hands slid down my waist and cupped my bare backside. He groaned before he broke our kiss and he rested his forehead against mine. "God, you're so soft," he whispered as I slid my left hand down his neck and rested it against his chest. He turned his head from me and his lips trailed along my jaw. He raised his right hand from my backside and pushed my hair aside before he started kissing, nipping, and licking my neck and shoulder as he pulled my bra strap down my shoulder.

"Paul," I said as my right hand moved to the back of his head and ran my fingers throw his hair as he continued his assault against my neck. His hands roamed my body and as his left hand slid down the back of my thigh I didn't think I could take not touching more of him anymore. Suddenly, he gripped the back of my thighs and lifted me from the floor. He pulled his lips from my neck and looked at me as I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist and as the apex of my legs pressed against his still t-shirt clad waist, just above his jeans, we both gasped at the contact. "Where are we going?" I asked breathlessly.

"Bedroom," he said before he kissed me chastely and carried me into the bedroom. Once we were in the room, he carried me over to the bed and gently sat me down on the floor next to the rather large bed before he turned on a lamp next to the bed. He raised his hands to my face and held my head in his hands as he looked down at me before he kissed me softly. His hands left my face and moved to my waist again as he started pushing me towards the bed, but I broke our kiss and shook my head.

"Wait," I said softly as I looked up at him and he looked down at me curiously before I gripped the hem of his shirt. "I need to feel you, Paul," I said. "I need to feel your skin against mine." I started to take his shirt off and he helped me pull the cotton from his body before he tossed it behind him, not caring where it fell. I slid my hands across his chest and slowly leaned in. I slowly started kissing his bare chest, trailing light kisses across his skin as my left hand slid down his waist. My right hand seemed to have a mind of its own as my fingers toyed with his left nipple. His breathing grew heavier as my lips and hands continued their movements across his hot skin.

"Fuck," he groaned out before I suddenly found myself lying on the bed with his body covering mine as he roughly kissed me. He wrapped his left arm around my back and raised me up slightly as he continued to kiss me. I wasn't use to the heated and rough kiss we were sharing then, but I liked it. It made my body tingle all the more and the new swirling sensation only increased in my center. My hands were on his shoulders and my legs had once again found their way around his hips and the roughness of his jeans against my thighs only added to the sensations running through my body. I felt my bra loosen around my body and I realized he had unhooked it in the back while we kissed. He pulled his lips back from mine and looked down at me as I looked up at him.

"I'll go slow, Amanda, but let me explore my surprise," he said heavily. "Just lay back and relax," he said as he laid me back down and pulled my bra from my body. I wanted to cover my breasts from his gaze, but my hands remained on his shoulders when I saw the look on his face and he leaned down to kiss me while his hands cupped my chest.

I gasped against his lips as he ran his thumbs across my nipples and pulled at them gently. His lips left mine and trailed down my neck before he took my right nipple into his mouth. I let out a small cry as my back arched on its own accord, pushing my chest even further into hand and mouth. My center was on fire and the sensation was growing and knotting in a painful but pleasure filled way as Paul continued kissing my chest. After he had his fill of my right breast, he moved to the left giving it the same treatment as the right.

"P . . .Paul," I whispered as my hands laced through his hair and I closed my eyes. My hips were bucking slightly against his, but he wasn't moving his hips. He only continued his assault against my chest and torso. He raised his head slightly, pulling his lips from my chest but his hands continued to knead the soft flesh. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He seemed to understand what I was feeling even though I didn't, and he smiled before he leaned down and licked at my right nipple and pinched at the left as he ground his jean clad hips into mine.

The fire exploded then and a small scream escaped my lips as my body shook with the waves of pleasure washing over me. Paul kept his hands on me and his hips kept moving slowly against mine as he kissed me deeply to silence me as I continued to shake underneath him. I knew then that I had just experienced my first orgasm and we had barely even started.

My hands were still in his hair as my body and mind came back to earth and he stopped moving his hips against mine and his hands slid from me to the bed as he lifted his body up from mine using his arms to support his weight above me. He broke our kiss last and looked down at me as my chest heaved from what I had just experienced and my heart pounded hard in my chest. He raised his right hand and gently pushed at the hair that had fallen across my face and ran his thumb along my cheek.

"You okay?" he asked and I gave him a lazy smile.

"I'm better than okay," I said softly and he chuckled. "I didn't know it would feel like that."

"We're just getting started," he said deeply and he leaned down and kissed me again. However, I took over the kiss and raised my hands to his chest and using what strength I had left in my legs and my arms, I rotated our bodies so Paul was lying back on the bed and I was straddling him as we kissed. I pulled back from the kiss and rested back against him as I put my hands on his chest and looked down at him. His beautiful eyes darkened as he looked up at me. I was no longer afraid of what we were doing. I wanted him all the more and I found myself far bolder than I ever thought I would have been.

"You've got too many clothes on," I said as I raked my fingers down his chest and rippled stomach before I slid off of him and stood in between his legs on the side of the bed. He raised his head and looked down at me with a small frown, but his frown soon melted away as I unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his jeans and slid down the zipper.

I tugged on his jeans and he raised his hips to help me pull them off leaving him in his boxers. I bit my lower lip when I saw the shape of what laid under his boxers and I seriously doubted he would fit. He wasn't freakishly huge, but he certainly wasn't small. Granted I had nothing to compare him to, but I knew from what Emma told me while she prepared me this night that Paul was definitely _gifted_. He sat up and pulled me close to him before my bare chest pressed against his.

"Don't bite your lip," he said as he raised his hand and using his thumb he tugged my lip free. "That's my job." I laughed lightly as I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him chastely only to have him bite my lower lip in a teasing way. "I know what you're thinking," he said against my lips before he kissed me again, his tongue brushing against mine as the kiss grew less chaste.

"What am I thinking?" I asked softly my eyes holding his when he pulled his head back slightly.

"I'll fit, but it'll hurt a bit at first," he said and I bit my lip again. "I don't want to hurt you, but it will only last a second and I'll make sure you're good and ready."

"How?" I asked softly and he lifted me like I weight no more than a feather and laid me on the bed next to him before he straddled my legs. He raised my arms and put my hands above my head.

"Grip the blanket," he said and I grasped a handful of the comforter we laid on. "Don't let go," he whispered as his eyes held mine and I nodded before he started kissing down my neck. I sighed while my eyes closed on their own accord and my hands tightened their hold on the blanket.

His lips moved down my chest, just ghosting over my still sensitive breasts before he kissed down my stomach. He licked my bellybutton and I gasped and arched as the swirling sensation started again. His right hand danced across my stomach before I felt his fingers slide under my panties. My eyes snapped open and I looked down at him only to see to the top of his head because his eyes were focused on his task. When his fingers brushed against the folds of my most sensitive area, my eyes rolled back and my hips rose up to meet his touch.

"Oh my god," I whimpered as I yet again tightened my grip on the blanket and closed my eyes. He touched me in the ways I never even touched myself and I realized I was crazy not to try it. A gasped escaped my lips when I felt him slip a finger inside of me and he groaned before he leaned down and kissed my stomach. The fire was coming, I could feel it, but just as it was about to engulf me, he pulled his hand away from me. "Why'd you stop?" I asked quickly as I opened my eyes and he smiled at me.

"Because I don't want you to cum yet," he said and my center tightened at his words. He stood from the bed and grabbed the sides of my panties before he pulled them from my body in one smooth motion. I started to close my legs, but he stopped me by putting his hands on my knees and kept my legs open. "I don't think you could be any more perfect," he said as his right hand slid down my thigh and touched me again. He made small circles against me and my eyes closed tightly again.

"Paul, please," I said as my hips bucked up against this hand again and I let go of the blanket and covered his hand with mine and stilled his fingers against me. "I can't take it anymore," I said, my eyes holding his. "I need you, Paul. I need all of you."

"Are you on anything?" he asked and I shook my head negatively knowing he was asking if I was on birth control. I wasn't, but that was something I planned on fixing soon. He pulled his hand away from me and went to the nightstand. I propped myself up on my elbows and watched as he took out a small foil packet from the drawer before he pushed down his boxers and kicked them off his legs. I was too distracted by his beautiful firm backside to notice much else. He had two dimples on his cheeks and his butt was very, very nice. I was admiring his butt until he turned around and I saw my first (and only) erect male penis.

"Oh jeez," I said as he drew closer with the condom in place. He was definitely gifted. There was no doubt about that.

"Move back," he said and I slid back further onto the large bed and he climbed onto the bed and in between my legs. He kissed me as his body consumed mine. I could feel him against me and I could feel everything about him. It was like my body was tuned into everything Paul and it couldn't get enough. I felt him ease into me and I pulled back from the kiss and let out a small cry at the intrusion. He pushed himself even further into me. I found it hard to breathe as pain, pleasure, and a feeling of fullness overwhelmed me.

"Breathe, baby," he said against my neck before he placed a kiss against my skin and pushed himself completely into me. I felt something break inside of me and I let out much louder cry as a small sting surprised me. "Damn it all, you're so tight," he growled out. Paul was completely still as he allowed my body to get used to him and I opened my eyes to look up at him. It was obvious holding still was a struggle for him as his muscles shook above me.

"It's okay, baby," I said using his endearment for me on him and he opened his eyes. Our eyes met and I raised my left hand to his face. "Make love to me, Paul." I moved my hips slightly and was surprised by the ripple that washed over me. It wasn't pain like I expected, it was the same fire sensation that Paul had stopped just minutes before.

"I want to go slow, but I don't know if I can," he said and I leaned up and kissed him.

"Then don't," I whispered against his lips and he groaned before he started to move out and then in again. His rhythm was slow at first as he kissed me and held me close to him, but soon his rhythm picked up and my hips were matching him, stroke for stroke. The fire was raging and I was close. "Paul," I moaned. "Oh, god, Paul; don't stop. Don't stop." I never wanted him to stop. Then it happened again, but far more powerful than the first time. The world went white and I screamed his name as my body clenched around him.

I couldn't breathe as I shook and dug my nails into his back while he continued his rhythm and road me through the second orgasm of my life. Then as my orgasm faded, I felt him jerk inside me as a new heat filled me as his seed filled the condom he wore. Paul growled as he wrapped his arms around me and lifted my torso slightly from the bed as he kissed me while he held me tight to his body. Soon, the only sound in the room was our heavy breathing when Paul broke our kiss and rested his forehead against mine.

"Is it always like this?" I asked breathlessly and he smiled before he kissed me chastely.

"For us it will be," he said and I couldn't help but smile.

"Promise?" I asked and he chuckled as he raised his head and looked at me.

"Promise."


	22. Chapter 22

I'm so glad you all enjoyed the last chapter. I was worried. Thank you all so very much for your reviews and adds. I know I've said this so many times now, but I really can't believe how many people have taken to Amanda and my story. It means a lot to me. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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* * *

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Chapter 22

I woke up wrapped warmly in the covers of Paul's bed as the morning sun filtered in through the window, and it took me a second to realize that Paul was not in the bed with me. I frowned as I sat up slightly and held the covers to my chest. I listened for any sound of movement in the house, but I heard nothing.

"Paul?" I called but silence was the only response I got. Sighing, I started to climb from the bed only to stop and wince. I was a little sore thanks to our continued activities the night before, but it wasn't anything a hot bath wouldn't cure. I moved a little slower and climbed from the bed. I found Paul's t-shirt on the floor and quickly pulled it on over my head covering my naked body from any prying eyes before I slowly walked out of the bedroom and into the living room.

"Paul?" I asked again but was met with silence yet again. "Where are you?" I asked quietly and I walked into the kitchen. I stopped short and smiled at the bowl, spoon, and the box of my favorite cereal sitting on the long counter with a note propped up on the cereal box. I quickly walked over to the counter and picked up the note.

"_Amanda,_

"_If you wake up before I get back, have some breakfast and take your medicine. (I know that you can take care of yourself, but humor me this morning.) I had to run a few errands this morning, but it shouldn't take me long._

"_Love, Paul."_

I smiled before I put the note back down on the counter and went over to the fridge where I grabbed the milk and then walked back over to the counter. I fixed myself a bowl of cereal after I took my medicine with a glass of milk and put the container back in the fridge. I leaned forward on my elbows as I ate my cereal and looked out the glass sliding doors that led out to Paul's backyard.

I could see his grill that was covered by a black cover and I assumed the bright blue tarp that rested in the middle of the grass with a few heavy stones securing it down covered a fire pit. Grandpa did that to his fire pit for the winters. Suddenly, I heard a loud thump behind me and I dropped my spoon into my bowl before I quickly turned around relieved to see Paul standing there and a shopping bag on the floor at his feet. I pushed the bowl back on the counter and smiled at him as I tried to get my heart to stop pounding at the slight fright he gave me.

"You scared me," I said quietly, but he didn't smile back.

"You do know that you have no underwear on, right?" he asked as his eyes scanned up from my hips to my blushing face. Subconsciously, I reached behind me and smoothed the fabric of his t-shirt over my backside, realizing that the way I had been bent over the shirt had ridden up. He was quick to close the small distance between us and I gasped when his hands settled on my upper waist. His thumbs brushed the undersides of my breasts and just that simple touch sent goose bumps across my skin. "How are you feeling?" he asked. His voice was heavy as he looked down at me and it took a minute for me to get my voice to work.

"I'm a little tender, but I'm okay," I told him honestly. "What errands did you have to run?" I asked, trying to distract myself from his hands and the now familiar sensations that were building yet again.

"I had to pick up a few things and I stopped by your grandparents' place to get you some clean clothes and your personal items so you can get ready to head over to Sam and Emily's," he said.

"You what?" I asked quickly and he chuckled as he moved closer to me, which made me have to crane my neck back to look up at him.

"Your grandma got everything for you and put it into a backpack for me. It's on the couch." I blushed heavily and he smiled as he brushed his thumbs along my breasts again. "They're okay with our relationship, Amanda, you don't have to worry. Your grandpa knows about the pack and your grandma trusts your grandpa's judgment. Plus, they want you to be happy; and if I remember right, you were pretty happy last night . . . and into this morning."

My blush only deepened as my heart started to race again and I smiled at him. He took half a step back to put enough space between us so he could lean down and kiss me with ease. I sighed into his kiss and my arms wrapped around his shoulders while my hands played with his short hair at the base of his neck. He parted my lips with his tongue and deepened the kiss before I suddenly found myself sitting on the counter with my legs parted and Paul standing in between them. The counter was cold against me and the roughness of his pants on my skin again made me gasp as I broke the kiss and opened my eyes.

"Do you know how much I want you right now?" he asked me as he wrapped his left arm around me and mashed our bodies together, with my legs going around him and locking under his backside yet again. I could feel him straining against his jeans; so, yes, I did know how much he wanted me; and I was all too ready and willing to help him with his situation. "All I can think about is you standing there in my button up and that sexy as hell underwear, and now I come home to find you wearing my t-shirt and nothing else. It's like I can't get enough of you, and I don't know why."

"Maybe it's a side effect," I reasoned as I willed my mind to focus on anything else but what I wanted him to do to me and what I wanted to do to him. He frowned slightly as he looked down at me. "Of being with your imprint for the first time, I mean. Our connection was already strong, and now that our bodies have been as close as they possibly can, they just want to stay that way."

"If that's the case, I have no problem with it but it's not very productive," he said with a grin and I laughed lightly. "God, I love you," he said as his hands moved from my waist to my face and he held me in place before he kissed me.

"I love you too," I said breathlessly when he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine. "What time is it?" I asked and he sighed as he raised his head and looked at me, his hands still on my face.

"A little past ten," he said. We didn't have to be to Sam and Emily's until one, so, we had plenty of time on our hands to do whatever we wanted with.

"Then we've got time," I said with a small smile and he frowned as he looked at me.

"For what?" he asked curiously and I laughed, but it was good to know that despite what he had just said sex didn't have complete control of his mind. I slid my right down from his neck, down his chest and stomach before my hand reached its destination and I felt his firmness through his jeans. His reaction was what I was hoping for. He gasped and his hips bucked into my hand while his eyes locked with mine.

"To take care of this," I said boldly. I never thought I would say anything like that, but being with Paul made me feel so sure of myself that I was far more confident than I probably would have been with anyone else.

"You're sor-," he started but I put my left hand over his mouth to silence him.

"I'm not that sore and I'll be able to have a bath and soak for a bit," I said gently. I removed my hand from his mouth and put it on the back of his neck before I pulled his lips down to mine as my right hand still caressed him through his jeans. He roughly tore his lips from mine as he grabbed my butt and pulled me off the counter. Startled by the sudden movement I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck and laughed lightly before he kissed me chastely as he carried me from the kitchen and into the bedroom, just like he had the night before. It only got better from there.

* * *

The second Paul and I walked into Sam and Emily's Sara ran right to me. "Amanda!" she cried before she wrapped her arms around my leg as Paul took off my coat. I laughed lightly before I picked up the little girl who was dressed in a cute pink sweater dress and black tights.

"Hi, Sara, did you miss me?" I asked and she nodded her head vigorously, which made her high pigtails swing around her head. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I laughed as I smoothed my hand over her back and looked at Paul who winked at me as he hung up our coats. I carried her into the living room where everyone was already waiting. "Hi everybody," I said as I walked in and put Sara down before I was greeted by everyone. Jared was the first one to me since he was close and he hugged me tight.

"It's good to see you," he said as he pulled back and smiled down at me. "Hey, you're not wearing a scarf," he said noticing that my hair was free and I smiled.

"My hair's grown back enough," I said and he nodded.

"Looks good, not that you didn't look good before," he said with a slightly worried look on his face and I laughed as I shook my head.

"Thanks," I said before I greeted everyone else, except Emily who I assumed was in the kitchen again along with her sister, and when I spotted Kim I joined her where she sat on the sofa with a cooing ten week old Kevin on her lap. "He's too cute for words, Kim," I said and she smiled at me.

"Thanks, Amanda," she said.

"May I hold him?" I asked and she nodded before she handed the squirming baby over to me. I held him around the waist with his tiny feet resting on my thighs as I looked at him. Kevin looked at me with wide brown eyes and I smiled at him. "Hi, sweetheart," I said in my regular voice. I hated it when people did the whole baby talk thing. It was more annoying than cute. He smiled at me before he laughed and reached out, grasping a lock of my hair that he tugged on it. I laughed as I shifted him so he was sitting on my lap and I freed my hair from his tiny chubby hand.

"I should have warned you that he likes hair," Kim said. "I've learned to keep mine up." She gestured to her hair that was pinned back and I smiled at her and shrugged.

"I think most babies have a thing for hair," I said and she laughed. Kevin was content to play with my fingers and I watched him for a second before I could feel someone staring at me. The feeling was familiar, and I knew instantly it was Paul. However, I focused on Kevin for a few more seconds before I looked at Kim only to find her looking at me curiously.

"You seem different," she said and I frowned.

"Well, I'm not wearing a scarf on my head," I said. "You haven't seen me without one before."

"No, that's not it," she said. "You're practically glowing."

"I am?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said before she gave me a small knowing smile. I blushed deeply and she chuckled softly before she shook her head and leaned into me to take Kevin. "So, how was it?" she asked as she took her baby and my eyes widened.

"Kim," I hissed and she laughed, which made Kevin giggle as she settled him on her lap. I looked around the room and everyone was looking at Kim, who was still laughing, and then they looked at me; which only made me blush even more. I looked at Kim as her laughter quieted.

"You should have seen your face," she said lightly and I smiled as I shook my head and stood from the couch. "Where you going?" she asked.

"To see if Emily needs a hand," I said before I bent over slightly so I would be able to whisper. "And to answer your other question; amazing." She laughed and I walked into the kitchen without looking back to the eyes I could still feel on my back. "Hi Emily, Abigail," I said as I greeted the two women and I earned smiles in return. It was easy to see the two women were sisters even though Abigail was quite a bit older than Emily.

"It's so nice to see you again, Amanda," Emily said as she put down the mixer she was using and walked over to me and hugged me tight.

"It's nice to see you too," I said back as I hugged her back. We pulled apart and I looked around the kitchen. "You guys need another pair of hands?"

"We could always use a little more help," Abigail said with a smile and I laughed before I pushed the sleeves of my shirt up and walked to the sink to wash my hands. "It's nice to see you without those scarves on your head, Amanda."

"It's nice not to wear them," I said as I looked at her. "I got those." Abigail smiled before she winked at me and moved to the stove behind us while I took over chopping the vegetables for her.

"So, how was your day yesterday?" Emily asked innocently, but I couldn't stop the blush that raged my cheeks yet again. I really needed to stop blushing. It was seriously annoying because I would no more get it under control when someone would say something and I would blush again.

"It was nice," I said simply, hoping that she wouldn't ask anymore. However, I was not so lucky.

"Did you do anything exciting?" Emily asked and I deeply cut my finger thanks to my distraction at the question.

"Ow!" I shouted as the blood poured from my finger left index finger and I dropped the knife onto the cutting board before I wrapped my hand around my finger to try and stop the bleeding.

"Oh my," Emily said before she quickly grabbed a wad of paper towels and moved my hand as she tried to stop the bleeding. Blood was pooling on the cutting board and the pain was surprisingly sharp.

"What happened?" came Sam's deep voice from the doorway, but I was too focused on the pain to respond.

"She's cut her finger pretty deep," Emily said quickly.

"Amanda!" Paul shouted and soon I felt his warm hands on my back.

"I'm okay," I said as I looked up at him before I looked back down at the blood soaked paper towels.

"We should get her to the hospital," Emily said and I looked at her. "I can't stop the bleeding and it looks like you're going to need stitches," she continued as her eyes held mine and I nodded. "Sam, grab me a hand towel from the linen closet," Emily ordered and her husband was out the door in a flash. The chatter in the living room was quiet and I knew everyone was listening in. "Paul, can you get her to the hospital without phasing?" she asked him tightly as she looked up at him. I looked up at Paul and saw his shoulders trembling slightly, but his face was stoic as he looked down at Emily.

"I'm not going to phase, Em," Paul said, his voice firm. "I'm worried not pissed."

"Here, Emily," Sam said as he brought in a dark brown towel. Emily removed the paper towels and I winced. I looked down at my hand and gasped when I saw the deep slice on my finger. I felt sick to my stomach at the sight, so, I quickly looked up at the ceiling to try and push away the nauseas feeling. Emily wrapped fresh paper towels around my finger tightly before she wrapped my entire hand tightly in the hand towel. I lowered my hand and took a deep breath.

"Get her to the hospital now and call us to let us know how she is," Emily said as she looked at Paul and Paul nodded.

"I'm sorry, Emily," I said and she looked at me. "I should have been more careful."

"It's all right," she said warmly. "Just get yourself taken care of and we'll save you a plate if you're not back before we eat." I smiled at her despite my throbbing hand and Paul led me out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Everything okay?" Jared asked from where he stood next to Kim and Paul nodded.

"Amanda's cut her hand pretty bad," Paul said. "She needs stitches. We'll be back soon." Everyone watched us walk into the hall with concern on their faces as Paul draped my coat over my shoulders. "If you get cold, just scoot close to me," he said gently as he looked down at me and I nodded. The concern swimming in his dark eyes was both heartwarming and painful for me to see.

"I'm okay, Paul," I assured him again and he sighed before he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"I know," he said into my hair and I closed my eyes as the pain seemed to lessen in my hand as his touch warmed me. "Let's go," he said as he pulled back. I opened my eyes as he opened the door and the two of us made our way to his car. My day had started out perfect, but I managed to ruin it by practically slicing off my finger. Yeah, that sounded like something I would do. Luck wasn't always on my side.


	23. Chapter 23

Thank you all so much for your reviews and adds. I hope that you all had a good day today. You guys might not like me too much after this chapter, but I swear there is a method to my madness. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 23

"You should be more careful when you're cutting vegetables," Dr. Matthews told me as I sat in the Forks Hospital ER room and he sewed the four tiny stitches in place to seal my left index finger shut. He was a young doctor with a kind face and nice smile. His bedside manner was very calm and soothing. It had taken him and the tending nurse forever to get my finger to stop bleeding so they could look at it. Apparently, a side effect of some of the medication I was on caused my blood to be thin and Dr. Matthews told me I needed to talk to my primary care doctor as soon as I could. It wasn't healthy, for me anyway, for my blood to be as thin as it was.

"I know," I said as I looked over his shoulder and towards the closed curtain where I could see Paul's large shadow pacing back and forth. He was going a little overboard, but I had a feeling it wasn't my injury that had him on edge anymore. It was the light brown haired man that sat alone with me and tended to my hand. Dr. Matthews had came in while Paul had gone out to let everyone know what was going on and the nurse wouldn't let him come in until the doctor was done. "I was distracted by a friend's question and the next thing I know I'm slicing through my finger." He chuckled and I looked at him only to see him smiling as he focused on his task.

"Obviously, you shouldn't do more than one thing at time," he teased before he looked up at me with a dimpled smile on his face. "I suggest no conversations while wielding sharp objects." I laughed lightly and nodded my head before I braved a look at my finger. The cut rested in between the knuckles of my left index finger and went from the top and down the side slightly. He only had one stitch left before I would be as good as new, and thankfully my finger would be numb for a little while thanks to the local anesthesia he applied to my finger.

"Will this scar?" I asked as I looked back at him.

"If it does it'll be a clean line and fade a bit over time," he said as he returned to stitching up my finger. "I'm very good at stitching up cuts, so, if you're lucky, you won't have a scar." We sat in silence for a few more beats before he cut the medical wire. He put an ointment on my finger before he wrapped it with a clean gauze bandage. "I want you to treat your finger every morning and every evening with this ointment and keep the stitches covered so they don't get infected. When will you be returning home?"

"I'll be heading back on Saturday," I said and he nodded.

"When you call to set up the appointment with your doctor about your medication, tell him you'll need the stitches removed as well," he said and I nodded as I watched him place the tube of ointment in a white bag that held several gauze bandages and a roll of medical tape. "You can consider the bandages as a parting gift," he said with a dashing smile and I laughed as I took the bag from him with my right hand as I stood from the bed.

"Thank you, Dr. Matthews," I said and his smile grew.

"I'll have Sara come in with your discharge papers and you'll be on your way," he said, referring to the nurse that had taken my intake. I nodded my head and Dr. Matthews opened the curtain only to find Paul standing directly on other side. Dr. Matthews started a bit in surprise, but smiled up at Paul as he excused himself past him and to the nurses' station. I laughed and shook my head as Paul followed the doctor with Narrowed eyes before he descended upon me in the room, closing the curtain behind him.

"You okay?" he asked and I nodded as I held up my injured and bandaged finger.

"Perfectly fine," I said with a small smile. "Four stitches to seal up that cut. If it hadn't of hurt so bad, I would have probably laughed at my stupidity."

"How did you cut your finger anyway?" he asked as he reached up and tucked some of my hair behind my ear. I laughed before I sighed and lowered my hand to my side.

"You promise not to laugh?" I asked as I locked my eyes on his and the corners of his brown eyes crinkled as he smiled and nodded. "No, you have to give me a verbal promise. A nod will not due.

"Okay, I promise," he said as he held back his chuckle.

"Emily asked me if I did anything exciting yesterday and it distracted me from what I was doing," I said rather quickly and quietly, but I knew Paul would have heard me and I knew he did when he chuckled. "You promised not to laugh," I said as I switched the white bag of supplies into my left hand and playfully hit Paul's chest with my right.

"I'm not laughing at what happened, I'm laughing at your face," he said. "You're as red as your blouse."

"Still not funny," I said even though I was unable to hold back my smile as I looked up at him.

"Yes it was," he said and I finally gave up and laughed.

"All right, it was," I admitted just as Dr. Matthews came in with a clipboard. I looked at the doctor and smiled at him. He glanced at Paul, who I had felt tense beside me, before he walked over to me and held out the clipboard.

"Sara's with a patient and since I'm heading on break, I thought I'd have you sign these so you don't have to wait too long," he said and I handed the bag to Paul before I took the extended clipboard. "You're right handed, right?" he asked with a smile and I laughed as I nodded and turned my attention to the clipboard. I read through the discharge instructions and signed them before he handed me my copy. "I wish I would have met you under different circumstances, but it was nice to meet you all the same. Have a nice day," he said and I smiled at him as I folded the paper in quarters and tucked them into the back pocket of my jeans. He left then and I turned around to grab my coat only to see Paul glaring at where Dr. Matthews had been staring.

"What's wrong?" I asked and he snapped his eyes to me. They softened a bit, but the scowl was still there.

"He was _flirting_with you," Paul said.

"I didn't notice," I said with a shrug, but Paul still seethed. "That's probably the last time I'll ever see him, so, calm down." I grabbed my coat and walked briskly from the room with Paul hot on my heels. I was shrugging on my coat as I neared the door and once we were outside Paul caught my arm.

"Amanda, wait," he said quickly and I stopped in my tracks and turned to look up at him.

"What Paul?" I asked and he sighed.

"Look, I'm not going to apologize. He had no right to even look at you like that," he said as he let go of my arm and I scoffed to hold back my laugh.

"Look at me like what?" I asked.

"Like he wanted to have his way with you in the middle of the exam room. I'm pretty sure if I could read his mind, I would have broken his jaw because of what he was thinking," he said. His voice was tight and I really, really, did not like the jealous side of Paul. There wasn't a need for him to be jealous because I loved him and only him. I felt the imprint pull like he did, not as strong, but I felt it too.

"Even he was thinking that, it would never happen," I said. "If you're going to be like this over every guy that wonders into my life, you need to deal with it now because there are a lot of men in this world." I turned away from him and started towards the parking lot as I wrapped my arms around me to ward off the chill in the afternoon air. Paul was at my side in a second, but he didn't say anything as we walked to his truck.

I climbed in to the old truck and he held out the bag of ointment and gauze to me. I snatched it from his hand before he closed the door and I put the bag on the seat next to me and fastened my seatbelt. I crossed my legs and then my arms over my chest before I looked out the window. He climbed into the truck and stuck the key into the ignition before he sighed heavily.

"Amanda," he said slowly, but I didn't look at him. "You need to understand that I can't help how I feel. I'm protective of you and I'll be damned if I let any man even think he can have you."

"I know," I said as I kept my eyes focused outside. He sighed again before he started up the truck. After driving in complete silence for a while, we were close to Grandma and Grandpa's and I decided then that I really didn't feel like going to a get together. "I think it would be best if I went home."

"Home? You want to go back to Seattle over this? Why?" he asked sharply and I looked at him. His shoulders were tense and his hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly I was pretty sure he was going to break it.

"I'm not going back to Seattle until Saturday. I want to go back home to my grandparents' house," I said and his shoulders loosened and his grip lightened on the steering wheel. "I'm tired and I want to lie down for a while. I might just turn in for the day."

"Fine," he said softly. He sounded defeated, but took the turn into my grandparents' driveway when we reached. He parked his truck next to my car and I unbuckled my seatbelt before I grabbed the bag from the seat.

"Will you bring my things over later?" I asked as I looked at him with my hand on the door handle. The look on his face was indescribable, but I kept mine neutral. I knew my coldness was hurting him, and even though it hurt me too I wasn't going to back down. He needed to know that I wouldn't put with jealousy when there was no reason for it. He could trust me. He didn't have to a macho man and step in to protect me all the time.

"Of course," he said.

"Thanks," I said and I opened the truck door.

"Can I see you later?" he asked and I shook my head.

"Not tonight, I'm tired," I repeated. "You can just leave my things with Grandma or Grandpa."

"What about tomorrow?" he asked.

"Maybe when you get off work," I said, "but I want you to think about something before you do."

"What's that?" he asked softly.

"I know you love me, but you also need to trust me," I said. "It doesn't matter if a man lays on the charm or promises me the world for just one kiss because _no one_ is ever going to take me from you. I'm yours and yours alone; so, think about that and why I am so angry with you right now."

I opened the door and climbed out of the truck with a heavy heart. I closed the door loudly behind me without telling Paul I loved him and without kissing him goodbye. I think it hurt me more to do that than it did him because it felt like there was a gaping hole in my chest as I walked up the porch steps and into the house without looking back. Grandpa walked into the hall as I closed the house door behind me and took one look at my face and frowned.

"Amanda, what's wrong?" he asked. Tears suddenly erupted from my eyes at the question as the pain overwhelmed me. I ran to Grandpa, dropped the bag on the floor, and threw my arms around him before I cried into his shoulder.

"Paul got jealous, I got angry, and now we're fighting," I managed through my tears and he gently ran his hand up and down my back.

"It'll be okay, sweetheart," he said. "It's not going to be wine and roses all the time." I only cried harder as I clung to the back of his plaid shirt as I buried my face in his shoulder.

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It was late and I was laying in my bed wide awake as I looked out the window. I'd slept for pretty much the rest of the day after my little crying fest on Grandpa's shoulder and eating a pint of chocolate ice cream. When I woke up, I had climbed from the bed and washed my face before I climbed back in bed to just stare out the window across the room. I knew I had probably made a big deal over his reaction to the doctor, but I felt like he didn't trust me despite everything and it hurt.

I had to stop myself at least a hundred times from picking up my cell phone and calling him. I had to make him think about our relationship. If he couldn't trust me, what kind of relationship would we have for the rest of our lives? Sighing, I tore my eyes away from the window and looked at my alarm clock. It was nearly two in the morning and I had been staring out the window for two and half hours, so, I sighed before I climbed from the bed and went over to my closet. I needed to talk to him and I needed to talk to him in person.

I got dressed and quickly scribbled a note to Grandpa and Grandma incase I didn't come home right away. I left the note on the kitchen table and made my way out of the house and to my car. I remembered the way to his house because I had been paying attention, so, I was soon on my way down the road in the dead of night. La Push was both beautiful and frightening at night, but I continued on my way.

I was rounding a curve when a deer suddenly scampered out into the road in front of me. I screamed and turned the wheel sharply to avoid it only to crash down into a ditch and then into a tree. My head hit the steering wheel before the airbag finally deployed, snapping my head back against the seat. A sharp pain ripped through my stomach as I tried to fight off the darkness that was making my head swim, but I couldn't. Before I slipped into the darkness I heard a sharp howl that sounded like it was right outside the car, and all I could think about was Paul.

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Third Person POV

Jared was on patrol and on his way to Amanda's grandparents' house to check on her so he could let Paul know that she was safe and sound. Paul would have done it himself if Sam wouldn't have enforced the Alpha rule and told him to go home. Jared was halfway there when he heard the tires squealing of a car along the road and then a loud crash. He took off towards the road and when he reached the scene he stayed in the shadows and whimpered when he saw the driver as she struggled to regain stay awake.

"_Embry get Paul," _Jared ordered to his friend who was the only other member of the pack on patrol with him that night through their mental link.

"_Why?"_ Embry asked and Jared showed him the scene before him. _"Shit."_

"_Get Paul and have him come in his truck," _Jared ordered again before he howled loudly into the night, knowing Sam would be there in a second since he lived close by. Jared quickly phased back and tugged on his cut offs before he ran around the car to the driver's side. He tore the door off of the mangled car and was relieved to see that she wasn't pinned despite the front damage of the car. "Come on, Amanda," Jared said as he carefully lifted her head and patted her cheek. "Wake up." Her glazed eyes slowly opened and even though it looked like she was looking at him, he knew she really wasn't there all the way.

"P . . .au . . l," she struggled to get out and he sighed heavily.

"He's coming, Amanda, hold on," he said before her eyes closed and her head went limp in his hands. "Amanda," he said as he tapped her face again, but he didn't get a response like before. "Amanda!" He didn't hear her breathing and her heart beat was slowing. He panicked and he ripped off her seatbelt and pulled her from the car before he laid her down on the ground and carefully started CPR.

"Jared?" came Sam's voice, but Jared didn't stop the rhythm as he silently thanked his wife on insisting that he learn CPR. "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know," Jared said as he performed the compressions on Amanda's chest. He was about to breath into her mouth again when she took a strangled breath of her own and opened her eyes before she closed them again. She was breathing on her own and Jared sighed heavily in relief before he looked up at Sam.

"Jared, your hands," Sam said and Jared looked down at his hands only to see them covered in blood. He hadn't smelt the blood at first but now that Amanda was breathing he could smell it.

"Oh my god," Jared said before he covered the bleeding wound on her stomach. "We've got to get her to the hospital." Paul's truck pulled up the second the words were out of Jared's mouth and Paul and Embry climbed out. However, Paul collapsed to his knees at the sight before him.

"Embry, help us get her into the truck bed," Sam said and Embry quickly opened the tailgate before he walked around a shaking and kneeling Paul before he picked Amanda up while Jared kept his hands on the bleeding wound. Sam kept his eyes on Paul, but the other man didn't move. "Take Paul's truck and drive Jared and Amanda to the hospital," Sam ordered Embry and Paul looked up at that.

"I'll drive," Paul said and Sam shook his head, the light of the moon casting an eerie glow on the slightly older man's face.

"No, you're going to wait here with me while you calm down and while we wait for the police," Sam said. "We'll go to the hospital after they come and we tell her grandparents."

"Sam-," Paul started as he stood and Embry took off, knowing there was no time to waste. Paul growled as he watched his truck drive off before he phased, ripping his clothes to shreds, and taking off after it after he took cover in the tree line.

"Paul!" Sam shouted, but the large dark gray wolf took no heed of his Alpha. For once in his life he was going against Sam. His imprint was probably dying and if she did, he would never live life as a human again.


	24. Chapter 24

See, I didn't keep you guys waiting too long did I? Thanks for all the amazing reviews and adds. You guys are the best group of readers a girl can ask for. I hope you like this chapter. Please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 24

Dawn was breaking and Paul, still in wolf form, was pacing within the trees that boarded the back of the hospital. He had seen Sam bring Amanda's worried looking grandparents to the hospital an hour ago, but no one had come looking for him to tell him what was happening. He needed to be inside. He needed to be in there the second the doctors told them if she was going to be okay. However, he couldn't get himself to calm down enough to phase back and if he did, he couldn't go in the hospital because he didn't have any clothes to put on. So, he kept to his pacing and he was almost to the point where his paws were growing sore.

"_Paul,"_ came Jacob's voice in his head and Paul heard his friend jogging up behind him. Paul turned around to see Jacob's large reddish-brown wolf form come into view with a bag hanging from his mouth before he dropped it to the ground. _"I stopped by your place and got you some clothes. Sam called me and asked me to bring them to you."_

"_Do you know how she's doing?"_ Paul asked and Jacob's wolf head shook negatively.

"_No, but I think you need to get in there," _Jacob said and Paul mentally sighed before he walked over and picked the bag up with his mouth. He looked at his friend and bowed his head.

"_Thanks Jake,"_ Paul said as he started to turn, but Jacob's words made him stop.

"_She's strong, Paul. She's going to be okay,"_ Jacob said and Paul turned his attention back to his friend.

"_And if she isn't?"_ Jacob didn't have an answer for his friend, so, Paul trotted away from him and put the bag down before he concentrated. With much effort, he phased back into his human form and quickly dressed in the jeans, t-shirt, and tennis shoes Jacob brought him before he left the bag on the forest floor and ran to the hospital. He went into the ER as he ran a hand through his short hair. During his pacing he hadn't even noticed the rain that had started to fall and he was soaked by the time he reached the hospital.

Sam was standing not too far off from the entrance to the ER when he saw Paul walk through and run a hand through his hair before he looked around. Sam pushed himself up from the wall and walked over to him. Paul's eyes were immediately on Sam and he expected to see a look of disapproval on the slightly older man's face, but he was surprised that it wasn't there. There was only concern on his friend's face.

"How is she?" Paul asked as he met Sam half way and Sam sighed.

"She had severe internal bleeding and she's in surgery right now to try and repair the damage and stop the bleeding, so, I don't know for sure," Sam said and Paul took a deep and shaking breath. "From what I could see when I looked in the car, a piece of dashboard frame broke on impact and stabbed her in the abdomen. The doctors think she also sustained a severe concussion. She's probably got a few more injuries, but right now their more focused on stopping the internal bleeding."

"Where are her grandparents?" Paul asked his voice was weak to his own ears because in his mind he kept seeing Amanda lying lifeless on the ground on the side of the road and then lying lifeless on an operating table while the doctors did their best to try and save her.

"They're in the waiting room," Sam said. "I'll take you." Paul nodded and slowly followed Sam down the corridor. He no more walked into the waiting room with Sam and Amanda's grandma was suddenly up from her seat.

"She was coming to see you," she said, her fear for her granddaughter making her aged voice shake. The guilt that Paul was feeling only magnified at those words and he felt his heart tear. "She left a note saying she needed to fix things with you and that she would be back soon."

"I'm sorry," Paul said heavily as tears filled his eyes. The pain was nearly too much to bear, but the old woman shook her head.

"Don't be sorry, Paul," she said. "It's not your fault. She could have just called you. She didn't have to go driving off into the middle of the night. We don't blame you. I just wanted you to know that she wasn't angry with you anymore." Paul rubbed at his eyes to push away the tears when he heard the soft sob of Amanda's grandma. "Come here, sweetheart," she said as Paul lowered his hand and looked at her. Her arms were open for him as she started walking towards him. Like with Sam, he met her half way and hugged her tight.

A soft knock on the open door made them pull apart and Amanda's Grandpa to stand from the sofa he was sitting on and joined his wife before he wrapped his arm around her and she moved in close to him. Paul turned around and looked at the older doctor in pale green scrubs and a surgical cap on his head. Sam was at Paul's side instantly as the four of them looked at the doctor who took a deep breath and began to speak.

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It had been the longest four days of Paul's life as he sat outside the sanitary room that held Amanda's unconscious form. The large glass wall allowed him to see her perfectly from the set of chairs the nurses allowed him and her family to put outside the room. They weren't allowed in the room unless they were dressed in the uncomfortable white suits and masks due to the rules surrounding the sanitary room and they were only allowed in during the day. The only reason she was in there was because of her lupus and they didn't want to risk her getting an infection she wouldn't be able to fight off. As he stared at her prone form through the class wall, he still did not like what he saw.

A tube was taped to her face that went into her mouth and down her throat to help her breathe, her normally tan complexion seemed pale and ashy, and her beautiful dark brown hair looked limp around her head. The surgery had been successful, but after the operation she had slipped into a mild coma due to the trauma to her body. The doctors weren't sure when she would wake up, but they said once she started breathing better on her own there was a better chance of recovery.

"You're still here?" came a gentle voice from his left and Paul had to pry his eyes from Amanda to look at her mother as she walked down the corridor a cup of coffee in hand. Since Molly was there Paul knew it was probably around six or seven in the morning, he hadn't moved from his seat since nine the night before.

"I don't want to leave again," Paul said as he returned his eyes to Amanda. When Molly, Mitchell, and Derek had arrived from Seattle it had been an interesting reunion. At first Molly was all for blaming Paul, and he could understand why. However, when Paul didn't fight her as she yelled at him and when she truly looked at him and saw the pain filled look on his face, she realized just how much he really did love her daughter. She had been very wrong about him and his intentions.

"You're going to end up in a hospital bed of your own if you don't take care of yourself, Paul," Molly said as she sat down in the chair next to him.

"I'm fine," he said heavily.

"Here, you need this more than I do," Molly said as she held out the untouched coffee to him. Paul looked at the cup and then at her. "Don't worry; I haven't drank from it yet." She offered him a small smile that he barely returned before he took the steaming cup.

"Thanks," he said before he took a drink of the hot liquid and then looked back at Amanda. "I know you don't like me too much, Molly," Paul said to break the silence they sat in, "but I love her. I can't even explain to you how much I love her, and I'm sorry that this happened. If I would have been more insistent on talking about what had her upset before I dropped her off back home, she wouldn't have been on the road so late and she wouldn't have gotten in an accident."

"It's not your fault, Paul," Molly said and Paul looked at her again. "Amanda's stubborn and she wouldn't have listened if you tried. She wouldn't want to talk to you until she was ready, which was obviously at two in the morning. I'm sorry for blaming you, Paul. I was wrong." Paul heard a soft sound that made him look away from Molly and to Amanda and he frowned when he saw her struggling.

"What is it?" Molly asked before she too looked and saw Amanda struggling slightly against the tube in her mouth. "Nurse!" Molly called as she stood and went to the nurses station while Paul put the cup of coffee down on the floor underneath his chair before he slowly stood and walked over to the glass wall.

He put his large hand on the glass while his dark eyes were focused on Amanda. She was fighting the tube, which meant that she was going to start breathing better on her own. As two nurses dressed in the white suits quickly pulled on their masks before going into the small spraying room before they went into Amanda's room. He watched the nurses take the tube from her mouth and she coughed slightly before her breathing evened and he watched as her heartbeat grew stronger on the monitor. For the first time in days, Paul smiled because with each stronger beat of her heart he knew that she was going to be okay.

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Normal POV

I woke up feeling nauseas and light headed, and there was a hard and steady pounding in my head that made me feel even more nauseas as I slowly opened my eyes. The room was dark safe for a soft light that was lit above the bed and the quiet beeping of a heart monitor close by that matched the rhythm of the pounding in my head. My mouth felt like I had had a mouthful of sand and gravel before I spit it out and my throat burned when I tried to swallow.

My entire body ached and I felt like I hadn't moved my muscles days. I tried to move, but I didn't get very far because the pain was too great and I whimpered before I settled myself back onto the bed. I heard a loud hissing noise before I heard the swishing sound of an automatic door from the other side of the room, but I couldn't lift my head to see what was going on around me. Suddenly, two people, a man and a woman, were standing around the bed dressed in what looked like white hazmat suits and masks. The woman moved to the monitors while the man looked down at me.

"Hello, Amanda, I'm Dr. Davenport," he said, his voice muffled by the mask on his face. "I'm going to have your nurse, Lucy, turn the overhead lights on, so, close your eyes for a minute for me." I slowly did as he asked before the back of my eyelids turned red thanks to the light shining above me. "Okay, Amanda, open your eyes a little bit at a time so you can get used to the light." I did as he said again and blinked a few times once my eyes were fully open. They felt much like my mouth did, dry and itchy.

"Have some water, sweetie," the nurse, Lucy, said as she held a cup of ice water with a straw to my lips. I greedily took in as much water as I could, which turned out not to be much. She took the cup away and I looked back to Dr. Davenport.

"Where am I?" I asked. My voice sounded rough and jagged, and completely opposite of what it usually sounded like.

"Can you tell me the last thing you remember first?" he asked and I took a deep and pain filled breath.

"I was driving," I managed. "A deer ran into the road. I swerved to miss it and crashed. I don't remember anything after that." I think he smiled behind his mask because the corners of his eyes crinkled.

"Good. That's good," he said. "You're in the hospital in Forks, Washington. With your Lupus, we needed to make sure you didn't get any sort of infection, so, we've kept you isolated in a sanitary room."

"How long?" I asked.

"You've been in a mild coma for the last four days," he said. "We took your incubation tube out this morning when your breathing improved and you started fighting the incubation. You were in pretty rough shape, but you sure are a fighter." I smiled at that and let out a small chuckle before I winced at the pain. However, I pushed it away and looked up at him.

"You can go ahead and say I'm stubborn, doc," I said. "I don't like to listen to odds too much anymore."

"I'm just going to check a few things, okay?" he asked and I gave him a curt nod before he started shining a small light in my eyes, checking my pupils. He continued his quick examination before he spoke softly to Lucy and the nurse nodded before she walked away and I heard the sliding door noise again. "Your family and friends aren't far. I sent Lucy to get one of them so they can see you."

"Am I going to be okay?" I asked and I think he smiled again before he nodded.

"You're going to be fine, Amanda," he assured me before same hissing and sliding door noise filled the room. He looked away from me and to his left.

"She's awake?" came a familiar voice that made tears instantly come to my eyes.

"Paul," I said quickly as I tried to raise my head to see him, but I didn't have to because in a flash he was standing in the spot that Lucy had been standing in and took my hand into his. He was dressed just like Dr. Davenport, but his suit seemed a little tighter, and I hated it that I couldn't see his face. However, I could see his eyes. His beautiful brown eyes that made me feel infinitely better. Even though the plastic gloves that covered his hands I could feel his familiar warmth and I sighed and closed my eyes as he raised his right hand to my face.

"I'll give you two a minute and update your parents," Dr. Davenport said and I quickly opened my eyes. I had forgotten the doctor was still there the second I saw Paul. I looked at him and I think he was smiling again before he gently patted my right arm and walked from the room. I returned my attention to Paul and smiled at him.

"I'm sorry," I said and he shook his head.

"Don't," he said gently. "You're awake and that's all that matters." He removed his hand from my face and took my left hand into both of his before he raised the back of my hand to his mask covered face. He placed a kiss on the back of my hand through his mask before he enclosed my hand in his, and a few tears slipped from my eyes at the loving gesture. "We'll talk more when you're better; right now I just want to sit with you." The emotion in his voice was easy for me to hear and I saw tears lining his eyes as he looked down at me.

"I love you, Paul," I said and he closed his eyes as he took a deep breath.

"For a while I thought I would never hear you say that again," he said before he opened his eyes and looked down at me. "I love you too, Amanda," he said and I smiled up at him before my eyes grew heavy. As silly as it was considering I had been unconscious for the last four days, I was tired.

"I'm so tired," I said softly and he ran this thumb along the back of my hand.

"Sleep then, Amanda," he said and I looked at him. "I'm not going anywhere." I smiled softly before I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep with Paul's hands still firmly around mind.


	25. Chapter 25

Wow. You guys are so amazing. I've got just over 200 reviews! You guys only inspire me to write more! I've said it before and I'll say it again, I've got the best group of readers on this site. I'm very happy that so many of you are enjoying my story. I hope you like this chapter. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight _series.

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Chapter 25

"Paul, I really can walk on my own," I said as my hands were wrapped around his neck and his strong warm arms were securely holding me under my knees and across my back as he carried me to my grandparents' house from his truck. Grandpa and Mom were walking behind us and I could hear them chuckle at my words.

"I know you can walk on your own, but the doctor said you need to take it easy. You just got out of the hospital and you woke up from a mild coma three days ago. Let me take care of you," he said as he started up the stairs and I sighed as I rested my head on his shoulder. It was just after noon on Sunday and I had been released from the hospital. The wound on my stomach was healing well and since I woke up from the mild coma I was in everything else slowly returned to normal. My head still ached and the doctors put me on antibiotics for a few more days. Plus, after they talked to my primary doctor in Seattle, they modified my lupus medication to deal with the thin blood thing I had going on.

"Fine, but how do you expect to take care of me when we leave for Seattle Tuesday morning?" I asked softly and he held me even closer to him. "I'm not looking forward to it either," I whispered, knowing he could hear me and he leaned down to kiss the top of my head.

Mom, Dad, Derek, and I would be heading back home on Tuesday, which was when Dr. Davenport said was the earliest I could go on the four hour drive back to Seattle. I was going to be out of school for a few more days, but Emma had promised to get my homework for me and bring it home. I had talked to her for over an hour when I was transferred out of the sanitary room the day after I woke up. She had said she wanted to come with my parents, but Tracy had told her that my mom would call them if anything happened.

Grandpa came up behind us and opened the door for Paul before he carried me inside. When we went into the living room my eyes widened at the sight in the living room and I raised my head. In my grandparents' small living room was Sam, Embry, Quil, Seth, Claire, Jared, Ethan, Sara, Derek, Dad, and Kim with little Kevin in her arms as she stood next to Jared. I looked at Paul to see him smiling at me and I blushed lightly as I looked at everyone with a small smile.

"Hi everybody," I said weakly and everyone laughed before Sara came running over to me and held up two white daisies to me.

"These are for you, Amanda," Sara said and I removed my hand from Paul's neck so I could take the extended flowers from Sara's hand. "Mommy said you got hurt in an accident. Are you feeling better?"

"I am," I said with a smile down at her. "Thank you, Sara." She gave me a bright smile before she ran back to her father. Paul carried me over to Grandpa's recliner that was already set up for me. There was a pillow and a folded up blanket resting on the arm of the chair and Paul settled me down carefully on the recliner that had already been pulled out so the footrest was up and waiting for me. "This is a little much don't you think?" I asked with a chuckle as Paul put the small pillow behind my head before he took my shoes off my feet and settled the blanket over my sweatpants covered legs.

"Remember what we agreed on outside?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and a grin on his face that made me huff quietly before I just twirled the daisies Sara had given me. Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, and Emily soon joined us with trays laden with tall glasses of iced tea for everyone and a large tray of sandwiches and two bowls of chips. Paul was quick to fix me a plate and grab me a glass of tea, before he fixed himself a plate and settled onto the floor next to me on my left. Everyone was scattered around the room as they ate, talked, and laughed. I picked at my food but I drank most of my tea in one gulp. I was thirsty.

I scanned the room around me before my eyes fell on Jared again and for some reason tears came to my eyes as I watched him. He was sitting on the sofa closest to me with Kim next to him and with Kevin in his seater in front of her. I knew that Jared had been the one that found me right after the accident. Paul had told me everything. He had told me how Jared basically brought me back to life when I stopped breathing before he and Embry took me to the hospital. I was alive because of him. I owed him my life.

"Don't even say it, Amanda," Jared said as he looked at me. I wasn't surprised he knew I was staring at him, but I shook my head as I wiped at a tear that fell from my eye.

"Thank you," I said anyway and he smiled as he shook his head.

"You're practically my sister. All of us would do anything for you," he said and I smiled fully as I rested my head back against the pillow. "Now eat before Paul starts to feed you." I laughed at the disturbed look that crossed his face and I looked at Paul who was scowling at Jared.

"You were no better when Kim came home from the hospital after having Kevin, Jared," Paul said which earned a laugh from Jared before he winked at me and returned to eating his lunch. "But he's right," Paul said, drawing my attention back to him. "If you don't eat, I will start feeding you." I stuck my tongue out at him and he chuckled as I took a small bite of the sandwich on my plate.

I put the sandwich back down on the plate before I held my left hand out to him with a small smile on my face. He was quick to take my hand into his and he smiled at me as he ran his thumb along the back of my hand. He started eating with his left hand while his right held onto mine. I smiled at his profile before I looked away from him and caught Mom's eyes across the room. She looked at Paul and then at me before she smiled and nodded her head. I didn't understand the look she gave me, but I had a feeling I would soon enough.

* * *

"Can he stay for a little while?" I bravely asked Mom later that night as she helped me pull my hair into a ponytail after she had helped me get ready for bed. It had been terribly embarrassing, but Dr. Davenport gave me strict rules to have someone help me dress until the wound on my stomach was healed a little more. Plus, the staple stitches that held my skin together weren't exactly east to move with.

"What do you think your father will say about that?" she asked me once the hair tie was secure and my hair was up off my neck. She put her hands on my shoulders and I sighed quietly.

"Please, Mom, I want to spend as much time as I can with him," I said.

"He really does love you, doesn't he?" she asked.

"You sound surprised," I said and she shook her head.

"Amanda, I'm not surprised that someone fell in love with you," she said. "You're an amazing girl, and it was only a matter of time until someone realized it. I just didn't think Paul was going to be the one."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Nothing, I guess you're just a better judge of character than I am," she said.

"I told you he was a great guy, Mom," I said. "You just have to look pass his intimidating frame and scowl. Underneath he's a big teddy bear." She squeezed my shoulders as she laughed lightly before she nodded.

"All right, I'll tell him to come up; but leave your door cracked," she said and I smiled at her in the mirror as she let go of my shoulders and walked out of the bathroom and then my bedroom. I sighed again before I looked at my reflection again. It was the only second time I had seen myself in the mirror since after the accident. I had looked worse in the past, but I still looked awful even though I was freshly showered and clean. My skin was on the paler side and I had faint circles under my tired looking eyes.

"Hey, you okay?" came Paul's deep voice from the bedroom and I quickly tore my eyes away from the mirror and smiled at him before I turned the light off and walked out so I was standing in front of him.

"I'm fine," I said. "I was just looking at myself in the mirror. I look terrible." He shook his head and raised his hands to my face, his thumbs running along my cheekbones while his hands held my head gently.

"You look beautiful," he whispered before he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. It was the first kiss we'd shared since I woke up in the hospital, and I raised my hands to his waist. He pulled his lips from mine all too soon and I whimpered quietly as I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "Believe me when I say that if you weren't still in the condition you're in and if you're parents, grandparents, and brother weren't downstairs; I wouldn't be fighting what I'm feeling right now." I sighed quietly as I nodded in agreement and yawned as he lowered his hands from my face. "Come on, let's get you into bed."

"Lay with me, please. I'm cold and you're always so warm," I said and he smiled before he kissed the top of my head.

"All right," he said before he walked with me over to the bed. I crawled under the covers while he laid on top and carefully draped his arm over me and rested his arm on my hip in place of my waist where my wound rested.

"You always smell so good," I said as I snuggled closer to him and silently wishing that he was under the covers with me. "You smell like the woods after the rain and spice." He laughed as he kissed my temple and raised his arm up to play with my ponytail. I shifted my head slightly so I was looking into his eyes as he laid on his side and looked down at me.

"You smell nice too," he said softly and I laughed lightly.

"I bet I didn't until a little while ago. I probably smelled like the hospital," I said and he grinned.

"You did a little bit, but I could still smell you underneath it all," he said.

"Let me guess, with your wolf senses your sense of smell is like a million times more sensitive than mine," I said with a smile and he nodded. After a few quiet seconds of just looking at each other he leaned in and pressed his forehead to mine.

"Your dad's getting restless because of how long I've been up here," he said.

"I don't care," I said as I took my arm out from under the covers and wrapped it around his waist. "Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Amanda, your dad," he said gently but I shook my head.

"Paul, I _don't_ care," I said. "Mom understands now. She'll get him to understand too. Please, just stay with me. Just stay with me," I repeated as I moved my hand from around his waist and I brought it up to his face, running my fingers along his jaw.

"Okay," he said as he spread his hand out on my back spreading his warmth through the blankets and my shirt to my skin. I sighed before I wrapped my arm around him again as I moved closer to him and hugged him. He kissed my hair and he sighed as he relaxed against me.

"I love you," I whispered when I felt my eyes start to grow heavy as we just laid there in each other's arms.

"I love you, too, Amanda," he said softly and soon I drifted off to sleep dreaming of the man that held me so protectively in his arms.

* * *

"Emma, please, I'm fine," I said two days later as I was settled on my bed. Emma was fussing over me by asking me if I needed anything by going down a long mental list of things I could possibly need. It was Tuesday afternoon and Emma was fresh from school with my homework for the last two days in hand. She had put it on my desk before carefully settling on the side of my bed.

"Are you sure?" she asked and I nodded.

"I'm sure," I said.

"Then why do you look like someone just ran over your dog?" she asked and I snorted a laugh. She was sort of right. Only no one ran him over, he was in La Push, and technically he wasn't a dog.

"I'm missing Paul," I said with a small shrug.

"Oh," she said.

"So, how was your break?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"It was good until your parents told us you were in accident," she said. I shook my head before I gave her a pointed look. Other than being a little weak, I was fine and there was no cause anymore for anyone to worry. I'd be back at school the following week and life would get back to normal in short order.

"Emma, I'm alive and well, so, let's not talk about it anymore," I said. "Did you and Tyler do anything interesting?"

"Not really," she said. "What about you? Before the accident I mean. Were you able to put the plan into action?" I couldn't stop the blush that raged my cheeks and I rubbed my left index finger that was now free of the stitches I had earlier. Dr. Davenport removed them the day I was released from the hospital. A smirk was suddenly on Emma's face. "You did, didn't you? How was it?" The sparkling eyes, the smirk, and the giddiness that radiated off of her body was the Emma I knew and loved. The smile was instant to my face as I thought of the day before the accident and Emma gently hit my leg. "Come on, don't keep me waiting."

"It was . . . it was . . . perfect," I finally said with my smile still in place. "It wasn't awkward and it hurt for only a second before . . . well you know."

"So, is he big?" Emma asked rather bluntly and the blush was back in full force.

"I am not telling you anything more than I already have," I said and she laughed.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," she said triumphantly and I threw one of my smaller pillows at her, which she easily caught before she continued to laugh. "Come on, Amanda, you know you want to tell me. You want to tell me all about your magical night with the Bronze God."

"No, I don't," I said as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Yes you do," she said. "You want to brag. I know I would if I bagged a guy like him. Come on give me some of the juicy details."

"Juicy details about what?" came Mom's voice from the door as she stood there with a large glass of water and a handful of my medication. She was looking at Emma curiously and my best friend had the grace to blush and glance at me. Mom turned her eyes to me and I shook my head.

"You really don't want to know," I said before I looked at Emma, who was smiling at me. "Trust me."


	26. Chapter 26

Hello everyone! Sorry this chapter is a couple days late, I've been a little busy the last few days and I hadn't had time to finish it until this morning. I hope you all like this chapter and there is a bit of a love scene (just to warn you) in this chapter. Thank you all very much for your reviews and adds. Sadly, the next chapter shall be the last, but I do have an idea for a new story. However, I'm not sure which male shall take the lead. If you have a preference, let me know in your review or PM me. Thanks, and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight _series.

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Chapter 26

Days turned into weeks and weeks slowly became months and it seemed like the next thing I knew I was standing in Emma's room getting ready for our graduation ceremony. The weather was beautiful outside that June day was warm for that time of year, nearly eighty. We were lucky if we saw seventy, so, everyone was going to be enjoying the warmth of the shining sun while we could.

We had to dress nicely for the ceremony even though our polyester gowns would be covering our clothes. Both Emma and I elected to wear cotton sundresses to try and stay cool, Emma's dress was a soft pink and mine a pale blue that Emma claimed looked beautiful against my complexion. We couldn't wear sandals so we both opted for sensible flats, both of us selecting white ones to go with our light dresses.

"I can't believe this day is finally here," Emma said as she put in her earrings and ran a hand through her curls, which she managed to tame and was wearing down around her shoulders.

"I know," I said as I put on the diamond earrings my parents got me for my birthday and smoothed out the pendant Paul had given me for Christmas. "I didn't think I was actually going to make it to graduation." Emma scoffed as she looked at me and I looked at her.

"The way you worked to keep your grades up, I knew you'd come out just fine," she said and I smiled at her. Emma laughed and I smiled at her as I made sure the clip that held half of my hair back from my face was still secure. Through Emma's open window I heard vehicles pull up the quiet street. Emma, being the tallest of us leaned to the side and looked out her bedroom window. "Your grandparents and Paul are here with a few other people." She paused for second and tilted her head to the side. "Do all of the guys in La Push look like Paul?" she questioned with a frown as she looked at me and I laughed lightly before I walked around her and looked out her window.

"Jared and Kim came. Sam and Emily too," I said happily before I looked at Emma. "Come on, you've got to meet everyone." I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of her room, down the stairs, and out of the house. Her parents and grandparents watched us rush outside curiously, but we just laughed as we ran outside. "Hey guys!" I shouted as I let go of Emma's hand and raced to Paul when he turned and looked at me with that beautiful smile of his.

I jumped into his arms and was once again lifted from the ground as he crushed me to his chest. Since the day I returned home from the hospital, Paul and I had only seen each other a few times. It had been nearly three weeks since the last time I saw him, and I had missed him terribly despite talking to him every day on the phone. I smiled up at him when he put me back down on the ground and he kissed my forehead.

"You look beautiful. Blue is my favorite color on you," he said with a wink and I smiled at him before I blushed as I remembered the first time he told me blue was my color. Unfortunately, we hadn't had a night like that together since.

"Thanks," I said as I turned to my grandparents and hugged them tightly before I turned to Jared, Kim, Sam, and Emily. The smile on my face was making my cheeks hurt, but I hadn't expected them to come and I was so happy to see all of them.

"I didn't know you guys were coming," I said and Jared smiled before he walked over to me and swung his arm around my shoulders.

"It's your big day, Amanda, of course we were coming," he said and I turned my smile to him. Jared and I had become closer the last few months and it wasn't just because he saved me. I had had a feeling we'd become friends since he was best friends with Paul, and I loved Kim like the sister I never had. I couldn't very well love one without the other. I talked to him and Kim at least once a week and they provided me with updates on little Kevin. I frowned then when I realized that the couples came sans children.

"Where are the kids?" I asked as I looked between them and Emily laughed quietly.

"My sister's watching Ethan and Sara for us," Emily said from where she stood with Sam's arm around her waist.

"And my mom's watching Kevin," Kim said as Jared let go of me and moved to her side.

"You mean you guys get to have two days without your children? What are you guys going to do?" I asked with mock horror as I raised my hand to my chest and everyone laughed.

"Enjoy the quiet," Sam said and I smiled at him as I lowered my hand before Emma cleared her throat from behind me. I mentally cursed myself because I forgot she was there for a second, but when I looked at her she didn't look upset. She was standing next to Paul and judging by the smiles on their faces they had been talking, and probably about me. Grandma and Grandpa weren't outside anymore, so, I figured they went inside. I grabbed her hand and smiled at her before I pulled her to my side and let go of her hand.

"Everyone, this is my best friend since forever, Emma," I said introducing her and she gave them all a little wave as she smiled brightly. "This is Jared, Kim, Sam, and Emily," I said introducing each of them by pointing at them. It was then that I remembered to warn her about Emily's scars and to tell her not to stare, but when I looked at Emma she wasn't staring at Emily's face.

"I love your necklace," Emma said as she took a step closer to Emily. "It's beautiful." Emily smiled her lovely smile at Emma and gently touched the old looking pendant that hung around her neck. I hadn't seen it before, so, I figured she must have worn it on special occasions when she wasn't preparing food.

"Thank you, it was my mothers," Emily said and Emma smiled.

"Well that spoils my plan, I was going to ask you where you got it," Emma said and Emily laughed lightly.

"Emma!" Tracy yelled and all of us looked to Emma's house and where Tracy stood on the porch. "Come inside, we want to take some family photos before we go over to Amanda's."

"I'm coming!" Emma called. "I'll see you guys again in a little bit," she said. She started past me, but put her hand on my arm briefly and smiled at me before she continued on her way. I watched her walk away for a second before I looked back at everyone.

"Let's go inside," I said. "Mom made some lemonade this morning, and you guys could probably use a glass after your long drive." They all smiled at me and I turned around to lead them inside, but I paused long enough to lace my fingers with Paul's and the six of us headed towards the house.

* * *

"So, how does it feel to be out of high school?" Paul asked as the sun was setting and as we sat in my family's backyard on the bench swing that hung from the tall tree that rested in the corner of the fenced in yard. I was tucked into his left side and his arm was wrapped securely around me. My left leg was crossed over my right while the toes of my left foot played with the loose fabric of Paul's black slacks.

"I don't feel any different than I did yesterday, other than being deliriously happy that you're here," I said softly and he kissed the top of my head. Everyone else, including Emma and her family, was inside enjoying the small party my parents decided to throw for me. I wasn't going to be having a graduation party since I was going to La Push with Paul and my grandparents in a few days, but Mom and Dad wanted to celebrate my graduation before I left.

"Do you have your stuff packed?" he asked and I smiled before I turned my head up and looked at him in the dimming sunlight.

"Are you excited or something?" I teased and he chuckled before I kissed his chin and rested my head back onto his chest/shoulder area. "Most of it," I said answering his question. "There are just a few things I need to pack and then I'll be good to go." His arm tightened around me before he kissed my head again.

"Do your parents know you're going to be staying with me?" he asked in a gentle whisper.

"Mom does, but Dad thinks I'm staying with Grandma and Grandpa," I said. I knew I was going to miss my parents. I was even going to miss Derek and I would miss seeing Emma every day, but I wanted to be with Paul for as long as I could because come January I'd be starting my first semester of college on campus before switching over to online courses.

Mom understood how I felt, that's why she was able to talk Dad into letting me go under the guise that I was going to be staying with Grandma and Grandpa. Once I graduated college, my future with Paul would truly begin. Sighing softly, I rested my right hand on his thigh before I tilted my head back and looked up into the branches of the trees.

"What do you think our future is going to be like?" I asked him gently.

"It's probably not going to perfect, but it's going to pretty damn close," he said. I turned my head so I was looking up at his face only to find him looking back down at me.

"Do you really think that?" I asked and he smiled as he brought his right hand to my face and ran his fingers along my cheek.

"I do," he said softly before he tilted his head to mine and kissed me chastely. I sighed against his lips before I shifted my position and turned myself further into Paul, never breaking our kiss. My right hand rested on the swing behind me and my left hand gripped his dress shirt over his solid stomach while his hand remained on my face and his left arm was still securely around me.

I deepened the kiss and Paul groaned quietly as his left hand left my face and went into my hair. He laced his fingers through my hair and gripped it tightly so that it pulled a bit, but it didn't hurt. My hand slid up his stomach to rest on his chest and I could feel his heart beating rapidly under my hand. His tongue slipped easily into my mouth and his left hand slid down to my lower back while the tips of his fingers teetered near my backside. However, after a few minutes of bliss, Paul pulled his lips away from mine and sighed heavily as he pressed his forehead against mine. We were both panting a bit, but when I tried to kiss him again he stopped me.

"As much as I want to keep going, we should stop. Especially since your family is just inside," he said heavily as he looked down at me. I blushed as I untangled myself from Paul because I realized that I was having a heated make out session with my boyfriend while my entire family was all of forty feet away.

"You're right," I said. "I forgot where we were for a second."

"I didn't mind," he said with a grin and I laughed lightly until a soft breeze blew around us. Despite Paul's warmth, I shivered a bit and he pulled me from the swing. "Let's go inside." I sighed as I looked up at him.

"Do we have to? I like it out here with you," I said and he smiled.

"I like it out here with you too, but I don't want you to get a chill and then get sick," he said before he laced his fingers with mine. "Come on," he said as he tugged on my hand. I sighed again before I reluctantly went with him.

* * *

The next day, Emma let me borrow her car to drive into the city where Paul and the others had stayed the night. Sam, Emily, Jared, and Kim were leaving at noon to head back home and we had made plans to have breakfast together before they left. It didn't take me long and after parking my car in the hotel's lot, I made my way inside and to the hotel's restaurant where they were all going to meet me. They were easy to spot since Sam, Jared, and Paul were heads above everyone else scattered about the crowded dining area, and of course Paul was the first to spot me and he waived me over with a smile on his face.

"Morning everyone," I said as I sank down into the chair next to Paul after kissing his cheek.

"Good morning," they all coursed and I laughed lightly before I reached over, grabbed Paul's orange juice, and took a drink.

"Hey," he said and I smiled at him.

"What? I was thirsty," I said and he laughed as he leaned and pressed a kiss to my temple.

The conversation flowed from that point on and breakfast was lovely. Even though I had only known the couples around me for six months and all of them were considerably older than me, I felt like I had known all of them just as long as I had known Emma. After breakfast, I goodbyes were short since I would be leaving for La Push the next morning and having dinner with them all again the following Friday after I was settled into Paul's place. Paul and I were standing in the lobby of the hotel after Jared, Kim, Sam, and Emily left and I looked up at him as I held onto his hands.

"Emma's lent me her car for the day since she's going to be with Tyler, so, I don't have to be home anytime soon," I said as I swung our hands and he smiled down at me. "What do you want to do?"

"What do you want to do?" he threw back at me and I grinned.

"I was hoping we could finish what we started last night," I said softly and he let go of my left hand, but kept a strong hold of my right before he pulled me along to the elevator bay. I laughed as I stumbled after him and he pulled me into the empty elevator that arrived for us. Once inside, he hit the button for his floor and had me pinned against the cool metal wall of the elevator. I shivered between the cold metal and the heat of Paul's skin through my thin cotton t-shirt. I looked up at him and bit my lower lip.

"I can't kiss you when you do that," he said deeply before he gently tugged on my lower lip, freeing it from my teeth before he pressed a slow kiss to my lips. The doors to the elevator dinged as they opened and a soft gasp broke our kiss. Paul stood up fully and looked over his shoulder while I looked past his left arm to see an old couple standing on the other side.

"Excuse us," Paul said deeply as he took my hand. I ducked my head as we quickly walked past the grinning old man and the small old woman whose eyes were wide behind her glasses.

"Remember when we were like that Edith?" the old man asked as he guided his wife into the elevator and I chuckled as we came to a stop in front of Paul's door. He made quick work of the key card and pulled me into his room. I laughed again as he tossed the key onto a small table before he spun me around in his arms and kissed me soundly.

"I missed this," I said when he pulled his lips back and just held me close to him while my hands gripped his shoulders and we looked at each other.

"We have all the time in the world for moments like this, Amanda," he said before he leaned in to kiss me again, but I swiftly pulled away from him. He looked at me curiously, but I just giggled at him before I crossed my arms in front of me and grabbed the hem of my t-shirt and pulled it from my body.

I was a little self-conscious thanks to the ugly scar that now rested on my stomach, but as my hair settled around my shoulders and I tossed the fabric onto the floor, I was no longer self-conscious. Paul's eyes were hungry as he looked at me and his gaze made me a little braver. I slipped off my flip flops as I unbuttoned my jean shorts and slid them from hips before the soft denim was in a pool around my feet. I stepped out of them before I stepped back and slid backwards onto the bed where I laid with my left leg stretched in front of me, my right leg bent at the knee with my foot on the bed, and I was propped up on my elbows as I looked at him.

"Do you know what you do to me?" he asked and I smirked.

"Not really, but I know what I want you to do to me," I said and I felt the blush form at the words the second they left my mouth. I spoke without thinking and I was slightly mortified until I watched him literally rip his shirt from his body while he took his shoes off and started for the bed. I sat up and stretched out my right leg as he crawled up onto the bed and grasped the back of my head firmly before kissing me deeply.

"What do you want me to do to you?" he asked when he roughly pulled his lips from mine. His voice was octaves deeper than I ever heard it while he rested his forehead against mine and his fingers were firmly weaved into my hair at the back of my head. The air around us was buzzing and even his breath dancing across my skin was arousing. My body tingled everywhere and he hadn't even really touched me yet.

"I want you to touch me," I said as my eyes fluttered open and I pulled my head back slightly to look into his brown eyes. His right hand found my body as he looked down at me and he gently cupped my left breast, making me gasp and arch my chest forward into his touch. I was wearing a simple cotton bra, but his heated touch was electrifying against me. He tweaked my nipple through the fabric and I gasped again as I held his gaze. "Kiss me," I said breathlessly and he did as I asked before he guided me back so that I was lying down on the bed.

As he did so, his left hand left my hair and made quick work of my bra clasp. He broke the kiss and pulled the fabric from my body before his lips went along my jaw and then down my neck before his lips moved to my chest. My hands were instantly in his hair as I sighed heavily and arched into him. His hands slid down my sides and soon his lips followed, slowly making a path down my stomach. He lingered on my scar and I raised my head to look at him as he ran his fingers over it before kissing it and looking up at me.

"Don't think that this makes me want you any less," he said, his fingers still faintly tracing the dark line. "It makes me want you more because it's a reminder of how I almost lost you." He leaned down and placed another kiss upon the scar while his right hand caressed my center on the outside of my underwear before his fingers gently pushed aside my panties and easily slipped inside me. I gasped at the touch and arched my hips into his hand while I supported my upper body weight on my elbows. He raised his head and his eyes met mine once again. "You're already ready," he said with a grin and I managed a smile.

"I'm always ready for you," I said in a whisper and the next thing I knew Paul's fingers left me and he ripped the white cotton fabric from my body before he tossed the shreds somewhere in the general direction of where he tossed the shreds of his t-shirt. "I liked those," I said as I looked to where he threw what was left of my underwear, but I didn't get much more out than a garbled cry when I felt his lips and tongue on my center.

He hadn't done that before and I found myself gripping the blanket underneath me as he assaulted my body in a whole new way that created the same fire within me. It was too much and not enough at the same time. I needed more of him. I needed to feel him inside me. It was a very strange and almost primal feeling, but I knew that that was going to be the only way I wanted to feel the release that was building. His grip on my hips was firm, but I was able to pull myself from him and he looked up at me with a slight frown.

"Is something wrong?" he asked and I nodded, which made him frown.

"I liked that," I said quickly and rather breathlessly, "but I need all of you." He understood then and nodded before he rolled off of me and I watched as he pulled off his jeans and boxers. He sprung free of the confines of his clothes and he made to get up once his jeans and underwear hit the floor, but stopped.

"Shit," he said quietly before his head fell back against the bed. "I've got to get dressed and run to the store."

"What? Why?" I asked as I sat up and looked at him. He sighed as he looked at me from his prone position on the bed.

"I didn't bring any condoms with me," he said. "I wasn't expecting this to happen." I smiled then and moved closer to him, straddling him so my center was just inches from its destination.

"It's okay," I said and his hands were resting on my thighs as he looked up at me with a frown.

"No it's not," he said. "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, but we're not ready for any more responsibility."

"Paul," I said with a smile, but he didn't listen.

"You've got college and a career to start, and a baby would only hinder you from doing that right now. It's not that I don't want kids with you-,"

"Paul," I said again, but he just kept talking and it was dampening the mood.

"-because I do, it's just we've got a lot-," Since he wasn't shutting up, I silenced him by leaning down with my hands on his chest and kissing him hard. When his hands slid up my thighs to my hips, I pulled my lips away from his and sat back up but kept my hands on his chest.

"I started taking the pill a month ago, Paul," I said. "It's okay." His eyes widened a bit and I felt him twitch a bit near my backside. I raised my hips and slid back along his body before I grasped him with my right hand and slowly impaled myself upon him. His fingers dug into my hips as he groaned at the sensation. My breathing was heavy as he filled me completely and our eyes locked. My inner muscles were already quivering as I started to move. I built a steady rhythm as I leaned down and kissed Paul, but after a second he pulled his lips from mine and rolled us around so I was lying back on the bed.

He quickened the rhythm as he leaned down and kissed me again, his hands exploring before they slid down to where our bodies were joined and made small circles. The fire was raging inside of me and his touch sent me ablaze. I tore my lips from his as I screamed his name and dug my nails into his back. I inner muscles clenched around him until he let out a guttural growl and buried his face in my neck as I shook on the bed with my arms around him. I felt his release as he jerked inside me filling my already heated center with an all new heat. His body was tight and rigid as he continued to cum and to my surprise at his body's final jerk I came again and as it eased; I was a sweating and a quivering mess underneath him. He slowly raised his head and kissed me softly as he pushed my damp hair from my face.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly and I gave him a lazy smile.

"What do you think?" I asked and he chuckled before he kissed me again as he slowly pulled out of me. I felt like I was leaking, but realized what it was and blushed a bit when he broke the kiss.

"You up for a shower?" he asked and I nodded. We stood and started for the bathroom and I smiled at the grin he gave me. It was going to be a blissfully long afternoon, and I was looking forward to it.

* * *

The following morning Paul, Derek, and Dad were carrying my things out to Paul's truck for the drive to La Push while I stood in the living room with Mom, Grandpa, and Grandma. "Now, you spoke to Dr. Harrison?" Mom asked and I nodded my head. Dr. Harrison was the referral Dr. Clark, my primary doctor in Seattle, had given me. He worked at the hospital in Forks, and he specialized in autoimmune diseases.

"I spoke to him and set up an appointment with him two weeks out," I said and she sighed before she hugged me tightly.

"We'll see you on the Fourth of July when we come out there for the weekend," she said. Even though I was going to be staying with Paul, I would be staying with Grandma and Grandpa that weekend and I think Mom was reminding me of that.

"Yeah," I said softly as we pulled apart.

"You just be careful okay," she said and I nodded. "I don't want another call from your grandpa telling me you're in the hospital again."

"Don't worry, Mom, I'll be fine. I promise," I said. The guys came back in and we all turned to look at them.

"We're ready to go," Paul said and I smiled at him before I walked over to Dad and hugged him.

"Take care of yourself, Amanda," Dad said as he patted my back and we slowly pulled apart.

"I will," I said and he smiled at me before he walked over to Mom and I hugged Derek. "You take care of yourself, little brother."

"I don't know why you call me little," he said as he hugged me back. "I'm bigger than you are." I laughed as we pulled apart and I shook my head.

"It doesn't matter how big you get, you're still my little brother," I said and he grinned at me as he brushed his hair from his eyes. With a few more parting words the four of us left and went out to the waiting trucks. Once Paul and I were settled in his truck, he looked at me with a small smile.

"Are you ready?" he asked and for some reason it felt like there was more to that simple question. It was like he was asking me if I was ready for the future instead of if I was ready to go, but answer was the same for both. I smiled as I looked at him and nodded.

"I'm ready."


	27. Chapter 27

I have been trying to upload this chapter since Friday night, but for some unknown reason the document manager wouldn't let me. So, I am really sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. Now that that is said, this is the final chapter to 'Hold On' and I'm really sad that its the end. I've really enjoyed writing this story and you guys are just awesome. I am working on a new story and should have it up in the coming days, so, put me on your author alert if your interested. Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all like this final chapter. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with the _Twilight_ series.

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Chapter 27

_Five Years Later_

It had been a long day of cleaning up my classroom that rested in the small elementary school on the reservation. I had one more day to store everything away for the summer before we had our last meeting until August when we'd start the year all over again. I was lucky to have gotten a position at the school on the reservation teaching third grade, but I had a feeling that Sue Clearwater (Seth and Leah's mom) had a say in my hiring at the start of the year. I had been blessed with a wonderful class and they took to me rather easily. Even the parents thought I was a good fit for the school.

After grabbing my purse from my desk, I locked it up once more and left the classroom. I made my way out to my car for the drive to the Paul and my house. I waved goodbye to the a few of the other teachers before I climbed into my car and settled my purse on the passenger seat. As I buckled up my seatbelt and started the car, I smiled as I looked at my left hand on the steering wheel before I raised my fingers and rubbed them together, jostling the small sparkling stone that rested on my ring finger.

The ring was simple in its design, but that was what made it beautiful. It was white gold with a beautiful etched swirl design on the band around the small round diamond. When Paul asked me to marry him on my birthday that previous January, I hadn't even noticed the ring until I after I kissed him senseless, but once I did I fell completely in love with it. Paul promised me a better ring, but I didn't want another ring. It was perfect because it was from him and that was all that mattered. I wrapped my fingers back around the steering wheel once more before I was on my way home.

Everyone wondered what had taken him so long to ask me to marry him, but I didn't mind that he waited. I knew he was going to ask me, and the way he had done it was such a surprise. My class was at recess and I was setting up for the craft project that the class was going to do once recess was over when there was a knock at my open classroom door. Standing there with a small bouquet of soft pink roses was Paul and I had been very surprised to see him.

He had looked nervous as he walked into the classroom and over to where I stood in front of the whiteboard before he kneeled down in front of me. I knew then what he had been about to ask, and the seconds the words slipped from his lips I was saying 'yes' over and over before I kissed him. I hadn't wanted him to leave after he asked me, but I had a class to teach and didn't really have a choice. I had finished the day on such a high that I really don't remember exactly what had happened the rest of the day.

We were getting married in a little over a week, and I was looking forward to it because my parents' wedding gift to us was a two week honeymoon in Hawaii. I'd been to Hawaii once on a vacation when I was twelve and Paul had never really been further from La Push than Seattle, so, it was definitely going to be an experience for him. Since the leaders of the pack had slowed down on their patrolling, only going out once or twice a month, Sam had given Paul the okay to leave for two weeks after the wedding.

We were having a small wedding with our friends and immediate families present and it was all planned to take place in my grandparents' large backyard. Since our wedding was taking place in my grandparents' backyard, the reception was going to be held there as well. Emily and Kim were going to cater the wedding as their gift to us and I couldn't thank them enough because that took a great deal off my mind. Plus, I knew I wouldn't be able to find two better cooks than Emily or Kim.

It didn't take me long to get home and the house that had once been Paul's alone was now the home we shared. I hadn't done much to change it on the outside; we had only added a swinging bench like the one in my parents' backyard to the covered porch. However, the inside had changed a bit but I hadn't taken over everything. The house reflected both of us perfectly even though I took up most of the closet space and the cupboard space in the bathroom. I parked my car next to Paul's truck and I was surprised to see he was home. He'd been working overtime on finishing a huge project that he and the guys had been working on since the summer before; so, I hadn't expected him home until much later.

I grabbed my purse and headed towards the house only to see Paul standing in the doorway of the house with his broad shoulders against the frame with his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and a smile on his face. Thanks to his continued phasing he hadn't changed much since the day I met him, but his eyes showed his age sometimes. Especially when he was tired, however, at that moment his dark eyes were bright and dancing. He was excited about something, that much I knew, but I still hadn't mastered the code to his expressions. Even after five years some things about him were still a mystery.

"Hey," I said with a smile as I walked up the stairs of the porch and came to a stop in front of him. He pulled his hands out of his pockets while I stood on my toes and placed a kiss on his chin since that was all of his face I could reach when he was standing. "You're home early."

"I've got a surprise for you," he said, the smile bright on his face. That was probably why he was so excited.

"Really? What?" I asked and he laughed as he pulled my purse from my shoulder and took the keys from my hand.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?" he asked and I gave him a half smile as he put my things inside and picked something off the small table that rested near the door. "Put this on," he said as he held out a blindfold and I laughed as I looked from it to his face.

"Why?" I asked curiously and he smiled.

"Just put it on, Amanda," he said. "You'll see soon enough." I took the blindfold from him and he gently pushed me back so he could walk out onto the porch. He closed the door and locked it only to look at me expectantly.

"How about I put it on when we get in your truck?" I asked and he laughed.

"All right," he said before he gently grasped my elbow and walked me to his truck. He opened the passenger side door and let go of my elbow while I climbed into the truck. He held open the door and raised an eyebrow, which made me roll my eyes before I slid the blindfold over my eyes.

"Happy?" I asked as I looked in his direction even though I couldn't see anything.

"Very," he said before he placed a kiss on my cheek and closed the truck door. I fidgeted nervously in my seat as he climbed in and started up the truck before he started driving.

"Where are we going?" I asked and I heard him laugh quietly again.

"We've only pulled out of the driveway, Amanda," he said. "We've got about a ten minute drive."

"And I have to wear this the whole time?" I asked as I gestured towards the blindfold on my eyes and he laughed again.

"Yes," he said. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest but the only response I got out of him was more laughter. "You still have no patience," he said and I could hear the smile in his tone.

"I have patience," I said. "In my job I have to be patient."

"When you're with kids, your patience level is completely different than when you're with me. You go from ten to zero in a second flat," he teased, but he was right.

"Whatever," I said as I uncrossed my arms and he laughed, which made me smile. We rode in silence after that and after he turned down a slightly bumpy path, he brought the truck to a stop.

"We're here, but keep the blindfold on," he said as he turned off the ignition and climbed out of the car. Wherever we were it was quiet, just like the rest of La Push, and as he helped me from the truck there was a faint smell of paint and wood stain in the air. He closed the door to the truck before he took both of my hands and guided me forward. "Okay," he said softly as he let go of my hands and walked behind me. I could feel the heat of his body against my back as he settled himself close to me. "Close your eyes," he said and I smiled.

"Paul, I'm wearing a blindfold," I said.

"I don't want you to see just yet," he said. I sighed quietly as I complied.

"Okay, they're closed," I said. He carefully pulled the blindfold from my eyes and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Open your eyes," he said and I opened my eyes only to gasp at what I saw in front of me. A beautiful small two story house rested not forty feet from where I stood. The outside was a combination of wood and stone, there was a chimney, and covered porch. A garage rested beside the house and it matched the house in its design. It wasn't too big, but it wasn't too small either and the more I looked at the more I realized just what I was looking at. It was the exact house I had described to Paul when he asked me what kind of house I wanted to raise a family in. It was my perfect house. "It's ours, Amanda," he whispered and I turned around quickly in his hands and looked up at him.

"What?" I asked sharply and he smiled as he looked down at me.

"It's ours," he said again and I looked at the house over my shoulder. It was then that I saw Sam and Jared walk out of the house with smiles on their faces. I turned around to look at them as they walked down the stairs and slowly made their way over to us. I was a little overwhelmed, but I was determined to figure out what exactly was going on. "We've been working on this house for the last year, Amanda," Paul said and I shifted slightly so I could see him and the guys.

"You mean, this is that big project you were talking about?" I asked and Paul nodded. "You guys helped him?" I asked as I looked at Sam and Jared and the two men nodded. I looked back at the house and I didn't know what to say, so, I hugged Sam and then Jared before I threw my arms around Paul. "It's our house," I said and he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to his chest. Tears were filling my eyes as I buried my face in his chest.

"You haven't even seen the inside yet, Amanda," came Jared's voice from behind me and I laughed lightly as I pulled away from Paul, wiped at my eyes, and smiled at Jared.

"I just can't believe this," I said and he winked at me. "What's wrong with the house we have?" I asked as I looked up at Paul and he laughed.

"We're renting it, Amanda," he said. "It's not ours and it's not big enough to raise a family in."

"This is . . . it's . . . it's just perfect," I said softly as I looked back at the house before I looked back at Sam and Jared. "I don't know how to thank you."

"You don't have to thank us," Sam said with a kind smile as he glanced at Paul. "Just invite us over for a dinner once a week for the next year and we'll call it even." I laughed and nodded my head.

"You got a deal," I said and all three laughed.

"We'll let you show her around, Paul," Jared said. "She's got a lot to see." Jared hugged me and then Sam before they walked over to Sam's truck that was parked next to Paul's. I returned my eyes to Paul. He held out his hand to me and smiled as I slipped my hand into his before he led me to the house for the grand tour of our new home.

* * *

"You look beautiful, Amanda," Emma said as she pinned my veil into my curled and pinned up hair as we stood in the room that had once been my bedroom in my grandparents' house. I blushed as I looked at her reflection in the mirror behind me and she smiled at me in return.

"Well you're glowing," I said and Emma laughed as she stepped away from me and I turned around to look at her as she put her hands on her round stomach.

"I'm seven months pregnant, Mandy. I look like a beached whale," she said as she smoothed the dark purple fabric of her bridesmaids dress over her stomach. She hadn't gone off to L.A. like she wanted to. She had stayed in Seattle and after cosmetology school she opened up her own salon that had quickly rose to top of the city's best. She and Tyler were doing well and happily married for almost four years. One second we were graduating high school and the next they were getting married. It had been crazy, but it couldn't have been more perfect.

"You're perfect, Emma, and I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were able to come," I said as I held out my hand to her and she gave me a teary smile as she quickly took my hand into hers. "I know it probably wasn't a very comfortable ride."

"Nothing but going into labor would have stopped me from coming," Emma said and I laughed before I hugged her. "Now, no tears," she chided as we pulled apart. "You don't want to ruin my handy work before everyone gets to see it." We shared a laugh that time and I took a deep breath as I looked at myself in the floor length mirror.

Since our wedding wasn't formal, I went with a simple strapless a-line dress that was fitted around the torso with a lace corset like tie in the back that held the dress tight to my upper body. The dress was ivory and flowed from my hips perfectly to the floor. I had lucked out when I found it in the out of the way shop Mom and Emma had brought me to in downtown Seattle. The second I saw it, I knew it was the dress.

"You're Mom, Emily, and Kim will be coming up the second the guys have Paul in the kitchen, which should be any second," she said as she handed me the bouquet of white carnations, purple carnations, and pink roses. The words no more left her mouth when Emily, Kim, and Mom came into the room. Mom gasped and smiled at me before she shook her head and covered her mouth with her hand as tears filled her eyes.

"It's okay, Mom," I said with a small smile and she dabbed at her eyes before she cleared her throat.

"I've known this day was bound to come sooner or later," she said. "I don't know why I'm so emotional."

"You're officially giving her away today," Emily said with a soft smile on her face. She and Kim were serving as my bridesmaids while Emma was my maid of honor. Oddly enough, Emma had to walk down the aisle with Jared since he was the best man while Kim walked down with Derek; but neither minded. "I think it's a written law that mother's of the brides are supposed to be emotional." Mom laughed as she put a gentle hand on Emily's arm before she looked at me.

"Your father's waiting downstairs," she said.

"It's time," Kim said happily and I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up because I was so nervous.

"Let's rock and roll!" Emma said and I laughed along with everyone else before all of us made our way downstairs and into the living room. Dad turned from the window and smiled at me and I smiled back before Emma, Emily, and Kim all hugged me before they quickly scurried off into the kitchen to join the guys and to start walking down the aisle. Mom kissed my cheek and followed them, leaving me alone with Dad.

"You're even more beautiful than I thought you were going to be," he said.

"Thank you, Dad," I said softly.

"Amanda, I know I haven't been the greatest of fathers; but I'm proud of you," he said as he walked over to me. "You're a lot stronger than anyone ever gave you credit for, even me."

"I come from pretty good stock, so, I've always had a fighting chance," I said as I smiled at him and he chuckled before he held out his bent arm to me. I laced my right arm with his left and he slowly led me through the hall and then through the kitchen before we paused at the open patio doors. The music changed and everyone stood from their chairs as I started down the aisle on my father's arm.

Paul stepped into my line of vision at the end of the aisle when we were three quarters of the way to the small arch of flowers that rested where he stood with the others and with the pastor that was overseeing the ceremony. When my eyes met his, my nerves melted away. I realized then that the promises I saw in his eyes as we drew nearer were the same promises I had seen in his eyes the very first night I met him. It was all there. Nothing had changed, but the love that shined in his eyes as Dad placed my hand into his was stronger and deeper than it had been that night. I felt complete as I held his hand and looked up into those beautiful brown eyes of his. He was all I could ever hope for and I had no plans on ever letting go.

**The End**


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